Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Wow...call from one of those "not my students" ... needs the phone number of the guy who doesn't know he was slid up under "my instructing job" at half the pay. Ummm, sorry, I don't know his number. I would pass it along if I did but ... I offer a couple of ways to run him down. I hang up shaking my head. Sorta smarts ... Tiny bit.
Sanding 60 year old door frames has turned in to a working acquaintance with paintable wood putty. White ... Friendlier. I go back to it.
Norah Jones stops singing while we go to text mode.
Great news! One of my guys ... the guy next door teaching another group of ground students ... my best prank ... a friend ... has just made Captain at the regionals. I will have to change how I address him ... might even update the words before his name on my phone's contact list. I am delighted. I like when those guys upgrade. Another step in the right direction ... May his feet be planted firmly on that rung Lord. Bless them and keep them safe. We chat/text back and forth for awhile. I send him a picture of my feet up on the glass at ATL.
I keep painting while the phone pings with the joy of this accomplishment.
Husband home for lunch, and I think to finish this frame while he re-heats chicken sauced spaghetti. The doors and their frames are looking beautiful. I am so proud of them. He admires the work while I tell him about these calls. "So now you are in a tail spin?" he asks because he can't tell by looking at me, he is unable to read me ... aspergers stuff.
"No" I assure him, "I'm fine." What is a tail spin? I will have to look that up. I told him a silly secret a long time ago ... I told him that I thought it would be just great if humans had tails. And I do. Just think how much fun it would be to wag a tail ... Or watch for tail wagging. The tales a tail would tell. I begin to laugh as I imagine myself in a tail spin right here in the hall. He has already walked back to the kitchen though ... He doesn't hear me laughing and really has no idea how silly I can be.
I really really really want to put the freshly painted plate back on the switch box that bumps the closet light on and off. It is fixed now (and so is the front door bell!) but with out the door in place to close the circuit on the line to the closet light ... the light would stay on (if the bulb was in place). It works like a refrigerator light. While I was in Atlanta I picked up a new pendant fixture for the closet ... I am impatient to install it. I am challenging myself to "get that door back on today" ... waiting for paint to dry. It looks excellent. I love making things with my hands. I should go run those errands while the paint dries ... instead I am sitting here congratulating myself and wagging my imaginary tail.
I'm noting this because I think I have noticed that when a bunch of potentially bothersome things start zinging in ... you may be near the end of the yucky part. The good stuff is trying to work its way in. Yeah, I believe that. I'm so glad for my buddy ... that's not about me. I hope the other guy fares well instructing in that gig. I'm enjoying thinking about ceiling paint and fabric for that wingback. Yep ... Sammy can see my tail starting to wag ... that's gotta be what he's laughing about.
btw tail spin ... The rapid descent of an aircraft in a steep, spiral spin.
Informal. A loss of emotional control sometimes resulting in emotional collapse. Okay ... Nope not in a tailspin. I will never be in a tailspin.
*Astronomers using NASA’s Kepler mission have detected two Earth-sized planets orbiting a distant star. This discovery marks a milestone in the hunt for alien worlds, since it brings scientists one step closer to their ultimate goal of finding a twin Earth.
“The goal of Kepler is to find Earth-sized planets in the habitable zone. Proving the existence of Earth-sized exoplanets is a major step toward achieving that goal,” said Francois Fressin of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics.
*Fieldwork with the Sioux
...At the saloon they took in travelers. We reached saloon by turning the corner - Men in slouched hats, dun colored coats, with pants tucked in the muddy boots sauntered out of the little one story building, their hands in their pockets, and curiosity in their faces, disguised by a very marked indifference.... I'm gonna love reading this!
Psalm 73: 25&26~> (25) Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. (26) My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
... And that's what I'm looking at this morning during my coffee time ... Bird feeder needs a refill (have that), L's laundry wants a pickup/delivery, yucky outside, but will paint and sand anyway (doors looking absolutely fabulous and I smile and think I did that though my hands feel yuck from the sandpaper), bit of shopping on tap (last bit of beans in coffee maker this morning means a few more mornings then so outta luck 'less I make it happen!), One asked for a pkg to be mailed ... Visited with H while I maneuvered these photos, out of good excuses to just sit around this morning! ...
OH! One other note ... CC made disparaging comments about team sports last night after their game. She was so jacked up she had to go jump on the trampoline just to dissipate the "go". She so reminds me of me. They fought valiantly, but gave up the win by one measly point! She blames herself for missing a shot that swirled out of the basket. I tried to help her see other opportunities to score that were foiled. She said if only the substitute coach had put me in during those last few seconds I could have throw from mid court ... . Wow. Lotsa pressure. We talked about the importance of teamwork ... and coaching ... and court conditions, and refs ... and we both thought poorly of player #14 ... foul mouth to go along with her elbows. We decided it is important to do right even when you see other people "getting away with it". I'm thinking about attitudes that show up on the court. I'm thinking specifically about myself. It's making me sweat a little ... .
Monday, January 30, 2012
First Presbyterian Church
The Santuary was perfect. I loved the soft blue "floating" ceiling and the tall clear glass windows ... The shutters were open, streaming Southern sunlight. Seems like we all warmed to the entire experience. The two Presbyterian churches have been the real stand out services/congregations for me thus far, and I am totally surprised. One of my buddygirls is the wife of a Presby minister ... she laughingly refers to the fellowship as the chosen frozen or the other way around. Theirs is not a local fellowship. Both of these groups have seemed very embracesive ... ernest. The people who choose to congregate in the pews definitely affect the worship climate.
I wanted to transfer my sermon notes to here, because the talk was particularly interesting. It was, for me, a significant look at something I was "prepped" to see. I like that the very same verses may open up differently from one time to another. In this sense I can see the Bible as a living word, and I carefully believe in the intimacy offered within that context. Hmmm, that probably doesn't make sense. What I am trying to express is ... experiencing this word is dynamic and interactive ... I think it's read to death when seen as only black and white. I think it is more then a book. That's off topic though for what I have time for today. I wanted to note this to remember later. It was a different slant, but it resonated.
Scripture, first "reading" Psalm 111 ... On the Bonhoeffer list of "praying the Psalms" under wisdom.
V10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments.
I have made notes previously about how I think fear is to be understood ... hmmm, I can't create jumps in the text, but ... I want to re-read that ... Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. Eccl 12:13 ... With fear meaning to stand in awe of, respect, honor, in other words, the relationship the creator has in mind, and the one I would therefore "find" most fulfilling if only I weren't given to foolishness. (Ecclesiastes 12:13 Fear -> 5 February 2011)
Second reading, Mark 1:21-28 Jesus Drives Out an Impure Spirit in Capernaum. Heard/Read the "story" many times ... totally "know" it.
Here's the brief: a guy in the synagogue where Jesus was teaching was "possessed" by an impure spirit who recognized Christ, and spoke through the guy. Creepy. Then ... Jesus commanded the impure spirit to come out of him and it did. The congregation saw this as a sign of Jesus' authority. Creepy story ... Really glad I wasn't there to see that! Happy for the guy. Glad the group in the synagogue got the download, "Jesus is The Christ". I believe that without the creep factor ... on to the next story.
On to the next story until yesterday morning, when the living word of God very sweetly backed my little goofy self up for a re-look.
Here's what the preacher made of those scriptures.
* Prayer is (also) opening oneself to God's healing.
* Sometimes unclean, unhealthy, unholy is woven in.
* Hard to "throw out" what is unholy and accept what is holy.
* Jesus has the authority to do that for/in us when we are ready to respond with trust and obedience.
* This woven in is hard to see.
* Pray to be perceptive.
Perceptive is another word for wisdom, isn't it?
That guy, the guy possessed by an unclean spirit, has always been someone I could see across the room ... preferably, W A Y over there in the creepy seats.
Turns out I have some creepy woven in. Uh, oh. I have some "unholy" ... probably bunches and bunches of unholy.
In the day to day life that I can actually see myself living, I am experiencing how confusing and complex it is to let stuff go. There's stuff I want. At the same time, I know how amazingly cool the "places" which can be seen only by "letting go" are. Yeah. People think an adrenaline rush is cool. I'm learning that letting go is the ultimate rush. It's just harder to do with the essential you then stepping your body off a ledge, or pulling Gs, or ... .
Well, that's what I'm trying to think about today. I can already see some "unholy" woven in ... woven in like I want to seek warmth or shelter there ... not good. I took some scraps to patch my tattered quilt ... and those scraps helped keep me from freezing to death, but ... I made them unholy. It's interesting. I can elevate (or diminish) something useful, beneficial and good, to a place where it becomes harmful.
Time to sand a door.
Capilano Suspension Bridge in Vancouver, BC
Multnomah Falls, Oregon
Seljalandsfoss Waterfall Southern Coast of Iceland
Marble caves, Chile Chico, Chile
The Wave, Coyote Buttes -> Paria Canyon-Vermilion Cliffs Wilderness in the Colorado Plateau area of Arizona. I'm thinking it worth the effort to see Arizona in particular as an airplane/camp out trip. I like that Turrell found his crater like that. I can easily imagine hanging a sleeping hammock under the wing ... Just have to work out the coffee pot adapter.
All these photos were "found" via The Cool Hunter who credits a book Amazing Places to Experience around the Globe! part 1. I'm saving parts 2 & 3 for another morning. "They" are collecting photos for part 4. Each image is ... captivating. I think every lottery win should come with the book ... Perfect part of the answer to the "what now" question.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
I just remember last Spring's hyacinths. A n d ... It's almost time for them to pop through for 2012! I walked Sammy straight in to a fairly strong Southerly wind the other day, and thought ... it's starting to smell just a tiny bit like Spring. And I laughed at myself when I thought I love Spring ... My very favorite time of the year!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
"Man must rise above the Earth -- to the top of the atmosphere and beyond -- for only thus will he fully understand the world in which he lives." ~Socrates
(well, maybe not fully ...)
Amazing! ... Letting it go can dramatically enrich my current situation. It gives me an opportunity to "bloom where I am planted" so to speak. I like who I have become during my lifetime and I do not have to see a shadow ... where ... the light shines ... . Unforseeable events bent me away from that light. I need that light to grow ... I need that light to thrive.
A note to myself back several months ago ... Hmmm. The realization came as a gift. I wrote this gift, of letting go, would have been more then even my most audacious self would have asked for or dreamed possible if I knew how to approach God with a prayer about this issue. I believe I used the word miracle earlier ... miracle is the right word. Those words about blooming and letting go ... I remembered as I sat quietly in that chair.
The perfect chair in a room with a view ... lol ... I'm still thinking a bit about this. The chair took me by surprise.
The airport was socked in. I had a wonderful seat from which to see "weather 101" in a detached, yet fully engaged, way. It wasn't a perfect view. A tiny piece of it was about how visibility is limited. A friend shared a wonderful picture of the view from the departure end in very low conditions. Taxiing to that spot must have been tricky, tedious, and the full power roll in to the unknown ... Yeah the runway is supposed to be clear, surely it is, but penetrating quarter mile visibility full throttle must exact a visceral penalty. I watched the guys at ATL "let it go". And then, one of my very favorite things happened ... a ride through the bumps, where your skin "feels" the weirdness of ions seeking reunion, and suddenly the bad stuff is just gone ... behind you ... and what's ahead and all around is something amazing, it is a light that feels so good you could see it with your eyes closed. The light above it all is charged, and it shimmers golden and silver and incandescent. It is wonder.
Just a few days ago I wrote about fog, the veil of fog obscuring, and then being able to see what was already there. Let it go.
So ... Those almost year old words to help me understand, to help me process and then remember ... I did let go of something and the space it took up opened up to embrace something better.
It was kind of miraculous it seemed and transitioned me to think about those miracles expressed in the Bible. I wondered, why did those particular miracles merit a ride through time ... Why do I get to "see" the miracle healing of the leper, or Bartimeaus, or the wine at the wedding, or ... the raising of Lazarus ... any of those, all of them ... . And I'm still working my way through those Bible verses and what they may mean still.
I don't like the expression bloom where you are planted ... and it is quite difficult for me to let go of things, because I am very careful about what I hold close in the first place ... So, I've been thinking about that, not exactly only in the way of letting go of specific things, like a house, or a desire, or a ... well, anything. More like how it feels to a pilot ... Waking up to not good weather knowing that a careful preflight is gonna get you soggy ... then, you're gonna strap in and carefully move towards who really knows what ... and you forget til you see it again how totally good it is on top ... that light makes all the yuck disappear.
It's very ironic that imagining several months ago how cherished one might feel relaxing in a chair with a lovely view helped me to a time and place to receive that private miracle. I let go. Then ... Actually sitting in the chair at the hotel on Saturday I remember the basic idea of my "note to self" briefed above, and I went looking for the words. Bloom where you're planted sneaks up on me there.
I've been planning on blooming at the beach for quite some time now. The idea of that has been my comfort through the bumps and the weirdness. From where I sit, typing, I see physical expressions of preparation to do exactly that. Sitting all day in a chair with only my thoughts for company gave me time to start soaking in the idea of how rewarding it can be to embrace the unknown. As I think about the miracles in the Bible I see a state of change ... in most cases, the participants gave up something, let go of something, even if it was just an attitude, or perspective/bias. That's the part of the miracle(s) that we didn't hear about in Sunday School ... I heard about a man, lame from birth, healed he was able to walk ... and the story is told like that's it, now he can walk. But just imagine how walking changed his life. Where did the miracle take him, and what was left behind?
Now, it looks like we might be here for a while yet. And that's okay. I told my husband I think I'm going to need more little trips to the beach, but ... I can do this. As a life thing I'm getting a lot more comfortable with throttling up ... in to and through ... I feel really safe trusting God. He's got this. I'm interested to see what happens next.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
My husband was invited to "throw his name in the hat" for a career opportunity here. I think it represents another three year commitment. It would be good for him if it comes together. I feel that it will. We will know by April.
For me it represents a change of plans. Not a move to the beach. That may be better ... Maybe reserve the coast for breaks from real life. Real life here is pretty nice.
I'm pretty sure I won't be flight instructing. A few years ago earning that certificate, and more then that really, excelling in an area of my own choosing, was a high priority. Pretty sure the actual "job" part of instructing would have been fraught with annoyances. I know I would have loved helping people learn how to fly, but FI said all the other crapola would burn me down after a year or so. I distance myself from "the program", what I do hear just continues to be not good. Poor leadership. This other thing I thought would work out ... It just wasn't worth it to me. I do love to fly ... but I don't like to be messed with and in that case I didn't have to be. I don't want to work at building something with someone who is still figuring integrity things out. It's funny how we deceive ourselves ... I'm sure I am as susceptible to that human flaw as anyone. I don't know how the flying stuff is going to go. I am okay to let it go. I've said before that I should have started marathon running when I started flying. Maybe I should do that now.
I could get a job. Some kind of marketing thing. I won't though. Unless we needed the income, my time is better spent making things lovely for my family. For the most part I like that. What's missing there? It's not the company ... I don't mind spending a lot of time alone. I may even prefer it. I like my little projects and time to think about little things. Today I'm thinking about La Niña ... I understand why cooler Pacific equatorial water would lead to drought conditions over Mexico and the SWern US ... But, then why the crazy storms with cyclonic cells shotting across Louisianna, Mississippi and Alabama. It's simple, just takes a little quiet time to work it out ... Something about where the moisture does finally lift no doubt ... I'm in hot pursuit of that info today.
I'm sanding door frames and vacuuming dust from that, and I'm doing the actual doors out on the back porch with Sammy. Yesterday I absent mindedly stepped in his big ole water bowl ... He thought it was funny. The fresh paint is looking really good.
That little saying about "bloom where you are planted" ... It's an old saying. Could sound a bit trite or patronizing. I'm thinking about that. There is something to be said about making the best of things ... There is a pretty good challenge right there. Working out something really good with what may be found close at hand. I'm not expressing it quite clearly, but I'll try again some other time. There is an art to living well. I think it might come down to choices.
Where is that interesting quote ... “When we are young, the words are scattered all around us. As they are assembled by experience, so also are we, sentence by sentence, until the story takes shape.” ~ Louise Erdrich, The Plague of Doves
She was probably writing that in a different context, but it is close to what I'm thinking.
The words to my story are close by. I don't need to go to the beach to write my story. Most of my words aren't up there in the wild blue ... .
Monday, January 23, 2012
...So there you have it, sh-t happens
Just make sure the plane you on is bigger than your carry-on baggage
Everybody goes through stuff
Life is a gift, love
Open it up...
GLORY ~ Jay Z
H wanted me to hear this one today.
Private stuff ... her stuff she sent to God.
We talked about that tree in my front yard ... It's huge now, but twenty years ago I could circle my hands around the truck. She told me she is going to tell her little girl that even though hard stuff ... sad stuff ... happens, God is still good. I didn't hear that truth well when I was young. It's taken me awhile to find my way back to that truth. I was so happy to hear her expressing how she is going to get right on helping her daughter see that. Time will grow the seed of that idea just like time grew that pecan tree. I haven't done much at all to help the tree along ... it was planted ... now it bears the fruit that our Thanksgiving pies call for.
I am thankful for H.
The woman in the mirror ... Not the best picture, but a picture on a best day ... That's what I'm going to try to post here once a month ... a picture of me on a day I enjoyed. This one taken as I left the room at the end of this nice trip.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
After Christmas my son, One,flew back to Texas on Southwest Airline's Texas One. I thought it looked pretty good. Now I am looking at atypical paint schemes. Under the post title ... Tap to link You Tube video of "Illinois One" being assembled and painted. Paint ... like ink ... a little risky business. Southwest seems to be on to something though. I like their standard livery as well ... canyon blue.
Fun to look at online, but not much deviation from basic paint. I know I saw the design of a famous artist somewhere several years back ... looking.
Fun to look at online, but not much deviation from basic paint. I know I saw the design of a famous artist somewhere several years back ... looking.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
|~ found photo ~ Ho-Yeol Ryu @ Hannover Airport (Germany)|
Husband off to interviews and I have almost decided to spend this free day cozied in under my blanket. Hotel armchairs are almost as nice as I might have imagined ... I'm looking forward to seeing if some "still" time alone in this room nets a day well spent.
Last night I left the drapes open 'til around two. My husband is a pretty heavy sleeper, and I wondered what it would sound like ... what it would feel like ... drifting in and out of twilight sleep with the continuous sounds of air traffic moving in and out like waves at the coast. It was good - I liked it.
Today's weather has discouraged balcony time, though I have ventured out with a hand towel to clear the window. Rain and such have pounded through here bringing flight movement to a stand still. CRJs were double stacked with the bigger guys, Boeings and Airbus'. Eventually, all I could see of them was a continuous string of red beacon lights twirling their readiness through the heavy rain. They are coming and going like a school yard jacks tournament now. Lots of Delta paint, a hand full of Airtrans ... ASA ... a couple of US Airways with their stylized flag ... FEDEX ... and a huge Lufthansa plane. I don't know why the airlines have such traditional paint. If liquor is distinguished by the coolness of the bottle, why aren't airplanes similarly marketed ... just saying they could look cooler to an aerodynamically uninformed eye. It might be worth the additional cost. Pilots wouldn't love it! Yes, I am flying a billboard around and it feels like a silly gorilla suit ... Oh! Wow ... Korean Air in the house (Ive been waiting for him ... In from PANC ... If he were moving any slower on the runway after landing, he'd be moving backwards. I know he's just getting his barings and making sure of his taxi clearance, but he has all but stopped on the runway. Wonder what the guys in the tower think of that ... and sporting some true cerulean blue paint ... I'm not really feeling that paint either.)
Predominantly white or predominately sky shades of blue is like flight camo ... I can see an airplane in the sky pretty handily, but they seem to fly right by the under-initiated. Uniform white on American planes must be a financial and probably somewhat cultural decision. Hmmm ... I always dress to blend in, but then I am not marketing anything. Here are some shots from earlier today. Traffic is moving now.
Last few coming in with the guy at the bottom probably diverting.
Yesterday I visited with the chief at a program at PDK ... I wanted to get the info on a II or an MEI ... or I could FIRC my certificate. I'm leaning towards the double I. He said they would hire me on the spot ... for the type of flight instruction I would be able to give. It made me feel good ... and bad. A job in Atlanta is not viable for me. My husband said "if" we didn't have school age kids, he would be happy to commute for his work. I know he would. An entry level flight instructing gig plus a commute at this point in my life is ... just not practical. By time we paid taxes on my salary ... well, it's not about the money. I never wish I hadn't done this, but ... . It's hard. It eats at me. I wonder how much time I should spend keeping current on the knowledge in case there is a job for me somewhere ... It's a lot different then charter flying. I just feel like I've exhausted every possibility ... and as much as I love sitting here watching these planes do their thing, it also stirs up how much of aviation I get ... I'm looking in, but I don't get to participate in a meaningful way. My dream was stillborn.
Yeah. I need to hurry back to sanding doors. Sitting here with my feet on the glass I feel every landing. Yesterday my husband made the accurate assertion that I was perfectly educated and predisposed to be an executive wife. Except I actually enjoy doing things that ding up my hands, but he didn't say that. House cat (he also didn't say that!). There must be something just right for a girl like me. I hope.
I can't bring myself to wish that I didn't love airplanes, but I'm starting to kinda hate how they make me feel.
Friday, January 20, 2012
For me ... An excellent day. I fabric shopped ... No joy there, but no problem ... I have plenty to do without a piece of fabric tapping me on the shoulder. Having a ton of fun sitting here watching the big guys do what they do so well. I can't see the end of the line of traffic waiting to depart, but they are ... departing. A little biz jet just taxied back over here to shut down ... Below minimums ... The TAF said 300 broken a few minutes ago ... Visibility at 1/2sm in -RA BR. Where I come from we call this fog. Lotsa pilots flying out of here with soggy feet. No visible holes in the ceiling from here. The numbers amaze me ... .
I am lobbying for an evening in ... I don't want to be out driving in this. ... Messy on the ground in Atlanta.
Tower is in and out, mostly in.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Once I began refinishing the doors I realized that all the hgwhite surfaces in the house are asking for a fresh coat. Fortunately, not everywhere will have to be prepped to the extent that the doors require! The hardware looks super good ... well worth the extra effort. So ... Today I'm freshing doors ... will be lucky to complete one door in fact. Tomorrow we are going to Atlanta, and while husband does business things, I will laz about. The only "real" thing on my list is shop for fabric.. I am looking for the fabric for a wingback chair that is waiting for a new dress, and four dining room side chairs (seats only). I want an 8" cabana stripe for the wingback ... Like this photo: