The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Thursday, December 26, 2013

welded frame with wood slats
Homewood shop  ~

favorite couch in the world (@)
Restoration Hardware
Christmas shopping w L
(always stop to "visit" the couch)

rainy Sunday

LB helping me wrap gifts


Flight Review for a friend today …
warrior
winds calm vis +10 … 62F
fun flight
Busy reading up on "anger".  Fascinating.  It is interesting as a topic, and I intend to note stuff here as soon as I have the way to do so organized in my head … .   Anger is a big topic.  One of the things I have thought of as I read about something which would seem to be already clearly understood, is that for me, it is not (clearly understood).  For example, I have heard the term passive aggressive, and I thought I knew what that meant, but now I'm not so sure … and, I did not realize that there are passive ways of expressing anger as well as aggressive expressions of anger.
I grew up in a home where everything was "out there" … if Momma was upset (and she usually was) everybody knew all about it … and with Daddy, laid back as he was, there was no mistaking angry moments (I have his style … vocal … I will say, "Now that really pisses me off". And everyone knows because I say it, aloud, and sometimes loud.  I don't like to be loud, but I like being ignored even less when I am upset about something … it happens so seldom that I really expect the rubbing wrong to stop.)  Anyway … reading about how people (we) may express anger, and how they (we) may respond to anger is … illuminating.  I am really enjoying the study … and I feel as though I have come late to the table for this.  I didn't realize that expressing anger, angers the person to whom the anger is being expressed … and I thought if a person didn't notify me with words that they were torqued that they weren't … laughing at myself, my naivete, it really is funny … I think of myself as  inter-personally savvy, but … wow, I have spent half a century not knowing that.  These are a few notes on passive expressions of anger.  Who knew?
Dispassion - such as giving someone the cold shoulder looking unconcerned, dampening feelings with substance abuse, overreacting, oversleeping, not responding to an other's anger, frigidity, indulging in sexual practices that depress spontaneity and make objects of participants, giving inordinate amounts of time to machines, objects or intellectual pursuits, talking of frustrations but showing no feeling.
Evasive - such as turning one's back in a crisis, avoiding conflict, not arguing back, becoming phobic.
Defeatism - such as setting yourself or others up for failure, choosing unreliable people to depend on, being accident prone, underachieving, sexual impotence, expressing frustration at insignificant things but ignoring serious ones.
Obsessive behaviors such as needing to be inordinately clean and tidy, making a habit of constantly checking things, over-dieting or overeating, demanding that all tasks be done to perfection.
Psychological manipulations such as provoking people to aggression and then patronizing them, provoking aggression but staying on the sidelines, sabotaging relationships, using sexual provocation, using a third party to convey negative feelings, withholding money or resources.
Secretive behaviors such as stockpiling resentments that are expressed behind people's backs, giving the silent treatment or under the breath mutterings, avoiding eye contact, putting people down.

Fascinating.  I am enjoying looking through the "stuff" … it's probably a year long project!

This is always a busy time of the year for me. It was nice to fly today, and have flights scheduled for Friday ad Monday morning as well.

Monday, December 23, 2013

before my Notes on Anger

Yesterday's sermon found us hearing about love … especially God's love for us as expressed by the act of offering His son as a sacrifice atoning for the sin which made a relationship impossible … love which reconciles.  Let's see, what was the primary scripture text?  Hmmm, Corinthians …

2 Corinthians 5:21

New International Version (NIV)
21 God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
([a] or be a sin offering)

from The Message:
21 How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.

The sermon, titled: He Comes in Love, was essentially about … the coming of Christ, and was, I thought, a good sermon.  God's immense love for us stuns me.

This time of year, Christmas time, might celebrate that amazing "love"  … but what I am thinking about is anger.  Anger seems to be especially pervasive this time of year.  Maybe it's the high level of stress, anxiety, that seems to be free floating in the air … mingling with weary shoppers and the ever jingling red bucket bell.

People seem to be angry.

I had an uncharacteristic outburst of anger last week.  That's really what is prompting me to think about … what is anger, why is anger, how can it be most appropriately dealt with either before it presents or as it presents … stuff like that.  I think I had "my buttons pushed" and I know I responded in a way I didn't feel good about.  So … what I'm doing is trying to learn a bit about that.  I want to be responsible for thinking and acting as good as I can around anger.

I'm usually very "laid back".  I've noticed that my patience, or tolerance, or what ever it is that runs out right before "anger" is a lot like a runway.  I'm laughing at my analogy even as I am pretty sure it's accurate … Here we have 18/36 … the 36 end is not numbered to indicate orientation to magnetic North, instead it is labeled as "this is really going to piss her off", let's shorten that to PO.  And … "stuff" flys in and lands there all the time with out bothering me at all.  It's a really long runway with plenty of well paved, well lite, well marked exits … there are "indications" that the runway is … running out, but lotsa room for extended roll out.  Then … it stops.  There is a crisp edge. That's the "angry zone". And because I don't have over runs very often … because I am accommodating, I need to work on how I want to respond to "stuff" that doesn't stop in time … before I am POed.

I'm working on it.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

105/1000

I think it's just great that this big ole pile of leaves will be picked up just as it is (un-bagged).  The only thing they ask is that organics be cut in less then 6' sections. Sanitation crew … under appreciated for sure.  A man will operate the pick-up claw and his partner will carefully hand rake the leftovers up until there is no indication that this pile was ever there … 35'+x6'x4'.  If I'm home when they come by I'll go out and thank them … and they will say "No problem … our pleasure."  Really.  That's how it is here.  I'm thankful for everything about that.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

before L's office party
jackets and out the door … 
Today I have to hurry up and finish raking, and I'm thinking I'm glad it's not snow I'm shoveling.  I have only the morning to complete what I can get done before the guys come to apply lime to the lawns, before I leave to go complete a flight review for some one.  Today the trucks, those brown ones, are running in the neighborhood making me think about how easy it seems to be to give stuff…to get stuff.  I need a few days to sit still and rake through my thoughts, shovel out the stuff I don't need to be thinking about.  This is what I like about raking (well, I like watching the pile grow to the biggest one ever), I like the shadow cast by the leafless pecan tree, how big the tree has gotten in the time we've lived here, the swing that used to hang in it, and most of all the way the shadow moves through the day dialing the passage of time.  How fun it is to see sunrise from my front porch in relation to that tree … how nice it is to have the time to observe that.
And … I was thinking about "do-overs" … what would my do-overs be if do-overs were an option.
I would have really liked perpetrating the Santa myth.  We didn't.  I wish we had.


Thursday, December 12, 2013

wildlife

Zebra … eta tomorrow!





Finally a big break in the weather … I flew all the daylight out of yesterday.  Still working on Flight Review type flying with a couple of people … third one now entirely finished.  He is a very capable private pilot who enjoyed executing his first (and second) ever power off 180.  It's cool to see someone work out the sink.  I knew he was way high for his touch down point … he opted no flaps, which was one of the options I suggested (because I really think slipping the plane is fun and effective) … I laughed out loud at his wimpy slip (I love when laughter volunteers in the plane, anyway … not laughing at him, just enjoying the joy).  He has a strong inclination to keep his airspeed 15% higher then the suggested speed for final … it was really difficult for him to make himself commit to best glide … which was the reason I wanted to introduce the maneuver.  I don't think he's the kind of guy who will ever allow a fuel  blooper, but … sometimes engines stop … he needs to get the feel for a best performance scenario just so he can "know" as best he can ('cause he has trained himself to zoom).  I really liked that he has improved his skills over the time he's held the certif., and he actually nailed and ILS approach down to mins. under the hood.  It was fun for me to see how pleased he was to challenge himself and excel.  So … good flight for me.
The earlier flight was also (what's one of those words?) … swell.  Commercial pilot polishing a little rust off … he actually has completed the review and just wants to work on a few little details. Most notable thing about his flight was how surprised he was at (not by) all the crazy "flying" yesterday … it's pretty easy to believe that most air accidents happen in perfectly clear blue skies … and I suspect December taps people on the shoulder encouraging them to fly the same way January sees increases in gym activities.  Airplanes, hanger-ed too long, want to come out to play. We extended DW to let someone, who'd been waiting a while, depart, number two to depart selected to ease out on to the runway when I was on shortshort final … go round!  Couldn't turn back in to the pattern because of traffic spacing on DW and XW so opted for right turn out with intent to climb, come back over the top and teardrop back in to 45 entry … . He also opted for a right turn out!  I don't think he ever saw us.  It really "frosted" my flying buddy.  Just life in the hood for a busy little (pilot controlled) field … the potential mayhem was exacerbated by a guy who needed to cross the active runway at A2 … poor thing was tying up the frequency explaining why he needed directions.  I felt sorry for him, but I think everyone else was just annoyed (and crotchety old men drivers are even worse in their airplanes! … I know it's naughty to stereotype! … ).  People who don't fly often seem to neglect the abort plan … at my airport you gotta keep all the windows open just in case someone shuts the door!
Field just NE of here has wildlife all over the place.  Happened to be there briefly yesterday and visiting with  lawman who were fueling up to go get a prisoner.  I said, "Why don't you guys clear out the coyote and wild pig problem out here (and maybe take the turkeys in a bonus round).  They said some plan is currently evolving … jeez, both pilots were "carrying", we were talking about the deadly force clause, and shackles … shooting those little beady-eyed departure wreckers seems like an excellent idea to me.
Today, I'd like to work on my chair project, but I'm behind on Christmas decorating and shopping!  Busy time of the year … seems like it should be the slowest.  Really nice to have a breather in the air though!

Monday, December 9, 2013

pink chair re-do

how it looked when found
(X2)

tedious
again I wish I could read a foreign language,
would make working through the instructional brochure so much more interesting

alrighty … chair striped, air compressed, let the fabric(ing) begin





more as this progresses … which is what I'm supposed to be doing right now!



day before yesterday,Saturday ...


Four's Christmas workshop booth
( and I got to help : )



Game watching activities at Momma G's
I drank an entire beer:  Thomas Creek/ Up the Creek
not a beer drinker, but I kinda liked it,
the texture of beer is a bit, idk, furry?, different, but interesting,
it seems to "pillow" the tongue
and … goes well with winning football.

video



video


wrapping Tommer's Corner to celebrate a win (SEC Championship) was surprisingly hilarious … my first time ever, the enthusiasm level was off the hook … very cool … really enjoyed the crowd!

and this … the cat, Shadow, has made a hammock of the lawn mower bag … it's funny where they get to.  Sammy thinks they are really weird little things (I can tell).

yesterday ...




Joy to the World
from Psalm 98 via Dr. Isaac Watts 

and this … Toomer's Corner after the wrapping party, already well on the way to being tidied up … the volume of the mess always astounding … . 

today ...

091435Z 19006 2SM OVC002 16/14 A3012

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

catch up post


One of the other funny things about cats that I maybe like, okay, I like it, but only part time … as is my overall inclination towards all things "cat" … cats like anything new/different.  A recently emptied box is a thing of joy to them.  They like discovery.  I like that about them.  Here they are, all three of them, snuggled up tight in the newly completely striped chair.  (I am so delighted that it is ready for it's new fabric … pulling it apart was huge.)  Glad I remembered to "drape" this project otherwise I believe they would have pulled all the fluff apart to make their nest just so, as they did (twice!) with the maidenhair fern bed which was intended to nestle a peppermint poinsettia.  I can't imagine Sammy thinking that would be a thing to do, nor would he be up on the dining room table, which tends to be ground zero for that nefarious feline crime syndicate.  I have them sleeping outside in Sammy's kennel … out in the cold (someone put an electric hot pad out there for them).
The staple gun is brand new, never been used, never even read the directions.  I don't like to read the directions on power tools.  I like to figure them out as I go.  I'm trying to make myself thumb through … the part where it says made in China aggravates me.  Some how not having it "'splained" is a some what soothing antidote  even whilst highlighting the "bite".  Oh well … I've been saving up for a super duper air compressor and ordered this one with all the bells and whistles … the truck stopped for me!  Today … I will select the musical companion to this little labor of love … and I'll get started putting these chairs back in order.
Sweet little trimming for Christmas stockings … my other "project".  It's time to get the boxes of sparkle and shimmer out of storage … where in the world does all the time go?  I missed Thanksgiving celebrations almost entirely.  Day before was able to rally well enough to bake a couple of pies and put together a few appetizers which travelled with my family to the family home of one of the significant others.  I spent the day in bed waking up with the chills, adjusting covers, and sipping NyQuil (which is other story entirely.  one that I do not remember.   but trying to conjures up colors, jewel tones, like a peacock's tail feathers, and the colors swirl and I feel like I'm pulling Gs.  and it is not entirely unpleasant).

significant others … boyfriend or girlfriend of adult child who may or may not become permanent member of family.  (I am a HUGE fan of all of our SOs right now … One, Two, and Three are each still "with" the same SOs they were seeing at this time last year.  I like their people very much.)

So, basically, no Thanksgiving activities for me this year.  I was thankful that my family was cosseted within a larger circle of love.  I was thankful for the freedom to just rest.  Fever broke after dark and I've felt pretty good ever since.



Next … Iron Bowl.  Absolutely the best football game I have ever watched.  The event has crystallized as a perfect jewel of an experience … yes, I can say "My team won", but the amazing thing is that before the game I don't think it would be true to say that I've ever had "a team".  Daddy was an avid football fan … I liked having people over to watch games during my college days … L doesn't bother with sporting events, we tailgate as a social thing on occasion,  I can count the number of times I've been in that stadium on one hand.  I think of it as the halfway point on Sammy's walks.  Isn't that a neat picture?  Guessing it was captured from the blimp circling overhead.  We watched the entire game from the comfort of Three's lovely SO's lovely sectional sofa.  She has the biggest screen I've ever seen in real life!  And … she just made everything better then one might possibly hope for (including my favorite wine chilled and ready to go!)  I really loved the time spent, all together, enjoying one another and the game. It's a favorite memory already. 
In my opinion, this, a hot as you can tolerate, bubble bathe with Epsom's salts (Dr. Teal's for me in Eucalyptus Spearmint), is the ultimate cure all, hot toddy optional.  Big fan of therapeutic soaks!  
So … ready to hit it again by Monday.  I had a flight lesson planned for the morning and a flight review scheduled for the afternoon.  Both went well … nice to be back in a plane yesterday.  Today's lessons weathered out … tomorrow, another flight review scheduled, but iffy forecast.  I'm catching up on reading … REGs … and shooing cats.

and tending to Four, home from the dorm … too funny to see DayQuil where one might expect a water bottle to be …
and … watching the weather … winter approaches.