but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. "
Just a few quick notes, busy today, but compelled to begin notes on whatever this cluster of thoughts will be about in a few weeks. This picture because I think of the intentional action of tossing a coin in to a collection spot, a well ... a little red bucket ... a coin jar, whatever/where ever it might be tossed, as a picture of how a friendship may come to be. I tossed an intention, like a coin, even a coin as insignificant as a penny may be to me (or as significant as it was to Another :
41 And as Jesus sat over against the treasury, he beheld how the people cast money into the treasury, and many rich men cast in much.
42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a quadrin.
43 Then he called unto him his disciples, and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury.
44 For they all did cast in of their superfluity: but she of her poverty did cast in all that she had, even all her living.
... )
I tossed a good intention towards something. Another person (or group of people) tossed their good intentions towards the same something, or close to the same something, and after a bit of tossing a heap of good intentions became a friendship (or at least something like a friendship). The actions involved in creating a collection of something "good" created a reservoir of "goodness" which nourished those nearby ... not just the tossers of good intentions, but anyeverybody near by.
There may have been a few bad pennies tossed in to the wishing well, but in the end they spend as well as the good ones ... the well intentioned intend to purchase good things.
I have a coin jar. It's a jar like those in the mercado, full of lemonade with a lid to keep the flies at bay ... a treat for the beggar children, also refreshment for the weary.
I really do have a jar like that. I pick up coins, a penny shining on the street spotted during a stroll, coins spilt in to the couch snatched from the vacuum hose when I clean house, I like finding coins to toss into my jar ... sometimes there is even a wish waiting in there.
I'm not really thinking of a wishing well at all. I'm thinking about how we spend our tiny tokens, how we may share our wealth (not money, but goodness) and how it comes about that we are nourished, healed even, by tiny things which become bigger in our lives.
People tend to believe that they are unable to "make a difference" and maybe along that same track, that their stuff, the "bad stuff" in their lives is too messed up, too big a mess, too big for tiny efforts ... and tiny is really all we can see.
I'm thinking about when we need (when I need) something big. Really big. The biggest thing I know is God. And ... God is a lot bigger then I can see. I'm thinking about how tiny those intentions are ... piled up together and they may become more, even enough.
Finally, someone (the Preacher) has come right out and asked my question, I think it's a lot of peoples question but not everyone's ... I asked my husband and he said he has never asked this question, but I think my heart asks it often enough for several people ... this question(s):
Why is God so frustrating? Why doesn't He just show Himself? ... show us how loving, merciful, mighty (all that and more, tons more) He is? God is mysterious, elusive ( frustratingly so ), confusing, always exceeding my understanding.
Those are notes from the sermon ... yeah, he asked the questions right out loud ... and you better bet I began to scribble out notes so fast that the pen stuttered ink spots ... notes, as follows:
... it is human nature to sort out CHAOS (there's that word I've been thinking about lately), to solve, understand, organize, to make, arrange, to order good out of what is around us ... to delight in creating (I do love my little projects) ... we are made as learners seeking to bring order ... (even attempting to make sense/order of GOD) ... but God is not tame.
...the wheels are falling off of our achievements all the time ... we aren't very good at "mastering" our "stuff". We are made for "relationship" with God, but we can't make sense of the relationship.
(How many times have I wished He would just show up with skin on and say something clearly ... ? And, how many times have I wished He would tell me how to un-mess my messes ... and how often does my heart longed for a hug and a kiss, a tiny bit of tenderness to soothe the way?)
Here are a couple more of the Preachers statements, these flow from questions voiced by people, long gone, who have their answers now as surely as I will find mine as I decide which questions to quest.
- I understand therefore I believe.
- I believe therefore I understand.
Sermon notes continue:
Our nature to "manage", push buttons, pull levers, it gives us the power and enables puppetry. That's the first one, I understand therefore I believe. (I hear people saying they understand God. I even hear people who understand God so very well that they feel they can speak for Him.)
His nature, working in us, crushes our controlling spirit. The second statement, I believe therefore I understand, leads to insight, it is trust that begins to unveil the deep mystery. The PARABLES crush our controlling spirit ... Sower and word of the seed sown, Isa 6:1-8 ... soil of our heart prepped by the Parables to receive Jesus ... it's a trust thing.
Don't seek understanding. Seek the Lord.
