One little girl and John Gebhardt

I am doing a search; "a little girl and a star".  I'm looking for a picture that I saw in a magazine many years ago.  Anyway ... this popped up and I decided to share it/remember it here.  This guy is like the men I know who serve.  I bet he can be tough.  I bet he can get the job done.  Here I see a heart that a hurting child can hear beating ... she is safe with that heart.  

It's a tough, but heartwarming story...with a picture of John Gebhardt in Iraq

John Gebhardt's wife, Mindy, said that this little girl's entire family was executed. The insurgents intended to execute the little girl also, and shot her in the head...but they failed to kill her. She was cared for in John's hospital and is healing up, but continues to cry and moan. The nurses said John is the only one who seems to calm her down, so John has spent the last four nights holding her while they both slept in that chair. The girl is coming along with her healing.

He is a real Star of the war, and represents what the Western world is trying to do.

This, my friends, is worth sharing with the WORLD! Go for it!!

You'll never see things like this in the news. Please keep this going. Nothing will happen if you don't, but the public needs to see pictures like this and needs to realize that we're making a difference. Even if it is just one little girl at a time. 

notes from 2014

The improvement of understanding is for two ends: 

first, our own increase of knowledge; 

secondly, to enable us to deliver that knowledge to others. 

~John Locke

Friday stuff ...

Three's girlfriend spent the better part of her afternoon over here on the back porch grooming Sammy.   I helped by holding his collar and insisting that he cooperate.  She is so great about dog care, and it was a huge help to me.  I was behind on brushing him out and his fur was woven tightly together close to his skin ... it took hours to work out what wasn't trimmed out.  Just when he thought we must be done, I pulled the water hose around.  That's a lot of dog to shampoo!  And ... she brought over a brand new bottle of the best smelling conditioner (conditioner!  Sammy never has had conditioner after the final soap rinse  ... and he couldn't possibly appreciate it as much as I do!  Smells absolutely fabulous)  I said he would go straight to his rolling around in the dirt he has cleared turf off of ... his big dog spot.  Why do dogs love dirt?  Yes, a lovely dirt patch right off the patio ... very 

attractive.  We are talking about seeding it and poking little plastic fork tines up to keep him out of it while new grass takes hold.  He has worked hard to fret that bald spot!  Anyway ... we talked about putting him the garage over night but decided to let him go ... and everybody laughed as he wallowed around. His fur is so thick that he was able only to tip the ends mostly.  It'll fall right out when dry.  He thought it was highly amusing.  Silly boy.

My sister-in law gave me this shirt.  She brought it back from India.  The fabric feels really good.  I am trying to wear more colorful things.  That feels weird.  I really do like just black and white clothes (on me). It's a sweet gift ... the colorful good feeling top that is mostly black.  It's nice to have a sister helping me out of my fashion mindset.  

Tommy ... feeling "puny".  Yes, he is continually in my thoughts.  Loving someone who is sick is a lot more complicated then I could have imagined.  I want to know exactly what's going on with him, but I don't want to pester the dickens out of him.  I mean ... let the man sneeze for pete's sake!  But ... why is he sneezing ... what's behind the sneeze?  For example, he's not really sneezing.  I am glad that we are traveling over there in a few days.  I really do just need a hug.

Later L and I went out for a movie.  Definitely the worst movie I can remember seeing, Tammy, just nothing to recommend it. It was probably fun for them to make.  We see probably 30+ movies per year, and I really enjoy knowing that movie night is coming up.  Seeing a wide variety of movies has been fun.  I was surprised at how much I enjoyed Begin Again.

Aside from those pleasant diversions, I'm working around my house and thinking about how women see themselves and how society views women.  Not in a broad sweeping way, just how the people I am most around tend to perceive women's roles and the dynamics, for lack of a more precise word.  It's interesting to be the mother of five, it's interesting to observe their processes as they form
important relationships.  I tend to like their people a lot.  Their people could easily be my people (smile).

One of my girls thinks she wants a very traditional relationship.  I'm not so sure that those truly exist. Roles.

Lately I've been looking at the "submissive" wife scriptures (traditional ... why? and, how did we arrive at that model?).  From there, I'm trying to understand what God's idea of a "good" women seems to be.  It's gotta be in there.  My husband was talking about Abraham's wife, Sarah.  He said something like,  Abraham did all kinds of horrible things to Sarah, but she was always submissive ... that's a Godly woman.  Something like that.  Something which made Sarah an interesting personality to check in to.  I mean ... why would "submissive" be at the top of anyone's list of great qualities to cultivate?
I've been looking at what I can gather on Sarah and I'm surprised that the Bible has a pretty good bit of info on Sarah.  On a different, ongoing for a while, post, I'm going to start collecting notes on Sarah.  She started out being Sarai.  And then ... what?  One of my kids is working as a camp councilor for the summer and they have "camp names" ... the campers don't know their real names.  I like names.  I think names are important.  And ... I think when ones name "changes" that it matters.  I think it matters a lot ... name stuff.  So ... I'll start there.

SARAH

this and that

Steven N. Meyers

I love the looks of x-ray flowers ... so neat ... . 

17 

The Lord your God in your midst,

The Mighty One, will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.”

That's from Zephaniah 3.  I'm looking at scriptures about how God loves.  It surprises me to see God rejoicing over "you" and maybe even me ... that note that God does do this.  

103 

Psalm 103 begins ...

Bless the Lord, O my soul;

And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

2 

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

And forget not all His benefits:

3 

Who forgives all your iniquities,

Who heals all your diseases,

4 

Who redeems your life from destruction,

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies...

I've been gathering these plates for a while with the intention of hanging them.  Kinda fun.  L thinks I should paint something different for that spot, get rid of the sky/clouds.  I still smile when I look at it though.  I don't think I want to paint over it.  And, when it grabs a rainbow I feel very happy.

This is a different sort of orchid then what I usually have.  The instructions said fill the vase half way up with water and let the plant soak for 30 minutes (then pour the water off) twice a week.  It said the plant will keep on blooming.  Orchids "last" longer then anything else does as far as flowers go in our home.  Orchids I can sorta do.  All in all this is about 3 foot tall ... it's fun.  That's Momma's glass cylinder, kinda perfect for it I think.  (I'm still working through her things ... somedays it's just too much to deal with).  Today I thought I would finish up my other grey (comfy, lol) chair.  All the "pieces" are constructed, ironed, ready to go.  All I need to do is get the air compressed back in here and zoop it together.  Probably won't ... probably do that tomorrow.  Mañana.  Today I am "doing" sidewalk.

First time to edge this year.  What a mess!  I have a lot of edging to do ... maybe several mornings worth.  The worse thing about that work is the flies.  Flies were landing on me.  Yuck ... sweat I don't mind, flies on sweat is just gross. Too gross.  That edger throws up a lot of dirt too! 

Tommy is doing great.  We (mostly L, I made a pitcher of Godiva/Kahlua/Vanilla Vodka martinis and got distracted there) made some cookies to send to him ... and a batch for C too.  It great that he is doing so well.  I love the way he approaches this.  We'll go back over for a few days later this month. Just for a hug.

It feels good to be getting my house in order.  (That sidewalk is gonna need to be power washed ... one job always leads to another!)  Today I was thinking about how you get a great lawn by fortifying the good stuff rather then by poisoning the weeds, I mean, you gotta do some weed work for sure, but really supporting the good stuff is what makes the grass really beautiful.  I think relationships are like that too.  

That's it ... time to get back at it.

abide 12 July 2014

Really, there is nothing like a bunch of  ... what?  Stressful events?  Sad stuff? ... nothing like how this year has been for me, however that can be described ... nothing is better to spark a look at ones own important "stuff".  I say I think life is a spiritual journey accomplished in an earth suit.  We are souls confined by, informed by ... our humanity and the larger humanity as we experience it.  It is collaborative in so many ways.

I have noticed that I have some stuff messed up.  I would like to engage with God in getting that stuff ... better.  I'm noticing stuff that I haven't been able to see, not like I was unaware, just unable to deal with ... ill prepared, overwhelmed.  Now I see that very easy, oh so obvious, truth.  It's me.  I am my problem.  And ... grace is my only hope  (Hope!) in experiencing God's love for me.  (And there's plenty to go around ... I know God loves each of us.)

I'm thinking about fear ... like bartering to keep what one fears at bay, bargaining for the scraps because I am afraid of being hungry (not for food).

anger ... directed at self, also at perceived injustice or point(s) of frustration ... at the tangles in life

grief for what seemed to be or might have been, might have become ... fantasies and illusions ...  regrets ... grief for the sadness of it all

healing via re-direct

towards

understanding God's love for me

thinking about the degree to which I am willing for God to deal with me

look for places where I can grow ... as my doings 

what I'm doing wrong - stop doing that ... stay in my strengths

be strong ... clear/focused ... not needy for little affirmations

look for grace ... like, expect grace, notice it happening

learn more about God's love ... intimacy with God ... being known by God ... loved by God

What does it mean to abide with Him?

I feel bad that I just want to experience Him as I think I'm best able to ... like visible would be nice I think.  But ... that's what I think I want, and even I can see all kinds of problems with wanting a visible God.
Now I'm realizing there is a way, God's way, and I bet it will be not so hard to find.  God already knows me.  He knows I'll need some help.

readings from this morning

Ephesians 2:10(NIV)

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Wesley ... Sermon On Predestination

and

  Psalm 139

1 

You have searched me, Lord,

    and you know me.

...

See if there is any offensive way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting.

abide

transitive verb

1

:  to wait for :  await

2

a :  to endure without yielding :  withstand

b :  to bear patiently :  tolerate abide

 such bigots>

3

:  to accept without objection abide

 your decision>

intransitive verb

1

:  to remain stable or fixed in a state

2

:  to continue in a place :  sojourn

— abid·er noun

— abide by

1

:  to conform to <abide by the rules>

2

:  to acquiesce in abide by

 your decision>

also

1.

to remain; continue; stay: Abide with me.

2.

to have one's abode; dwell; reside: to abide in a small Scottishvillage.

3.

to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc.;last.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:4-5

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ~ John 15:2

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

~Galatians 5:22-23

108/1000

"You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one.  

Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of it's own. 

It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle. " 

~ Paulo Coelho

planting good stuff

We walk from home on to the campus and back.  He used to do five miles easy.  We go at his pace, meaning plenty of scratch and sniff along the way - the college kids like to pet him, so we will stop for that some too.  He is out of shape for that distance now, maybe it's the heat, probably all the extra fur isn't helping (I'm brushing a half a laundry basket full out of his coat every morning!), or maybe he is just outta shape as I am.  We are back at it.
Can stress cause weight gain?
In other words, since your neuro-endocrine system doesn't know you didn't fight or flee, it still responds to stress with the hormonal signal to replenish nutritional stores -- which may make you feel hungry.

Why We Gain Weight When We’re Stressed—And How Not To

And it can make it more difficult to fit into those lovely jeans you splurged on, leading to more stress...

Yeah ... that's the problem!  Those size 6 Banana Republic jeans are in the bottom drawer ... I don't dare take them out and try to zip in to them!  I was really trying to be smart about what I ate while at the hospital with Tommy ... I think it must have been the coffee, not the coffee, the creamy half and half ... I wonder how many calories are in 6-8 shots of cream for a regular size coffee ... had I wondered in a more timely manner I likely wouldn't be wondering how to make those jeans fit!

So ... Sammy and I are back to walking.  I can actually feel the stress in my body.  It makes especially my back, shoulders, arms ... ummm, those muscles in the top half of my legs hurt ... they feel inflamed.

My muscles ache.  I don't understand why, but they do.  C said I need to do more stretching.  She said that is the most neglected part of a person's workout.  She said my leg cramps are from not stretching properly ... I think it has to do with not drinking enough water and Propel (while drinking way too much coffee ... I love coffee, it's the preferred comfort food ... yes I would prefer coffee favored ice-cream, but I resist ice cream all together ... best not to hope for too much comfort).  Anyway, I am really trying to do those things, like walk with my dog, and drink lots of water ... and my favorite cure all, Epsom salt soak baths with the lights off in the bathroom ... I'm trying to do that stuff and working at stretching.  Trying to make life feel normal by doing my normal things ... cook, clean, garden, putz around the house.  I haven't been back to the pottery studio, but ... I'm starting to want to go.  I talk to my brother more often then we did before we knew about the cancer.  I wake up all the time to pray for him, for all of us ... .   Cancer ... really sucks.  People who care about me want to be updated ... they say nice things about how I handled stuff with Momma, about how nice it is that I care about my brother as I do (I really don't like the praise, it feels crazy weird to be petted for doing what is the only thing one can do ... it's not a stretch, it's love.  I love my people (even though Momma and I weren't compatible temperamentally she is my mother.)  Well, I'm venting ... all I'm saying is I'm trying.  Trying to take care of myself.  It's difficult.  I should think of it as love.

Yesterday L and I planted flowers.  That's going to help ... flowers in the front beds.  There are four more large beds waiting for their turn.  I chose to plant perennials ... not my favorites, but I need the help of them showing up next year all by themselves. I need things to be easier.  This week, and probably next as well, I'm going to clean out the bed along the driveway.  My new neighbors doused their half of that bed with roundup and it bled over to our side.  I have noticed over the years that adjoining "boundaries" or borders ... the places where "we" touch one another are vulnerable to all sorts of undesirable outcomes.  In gardening as in life.  I salvaged several of the day lilies.  The irises seem to have been oblivious to the poison.  That bed seems to be overcome with poison ivy and other thistly/thorny stuff.  The poison killed the good stuff and seems to have supported the bad stuff (again, like life).  Anyway, I'm planning to "get after it".

1 John 1-10

1 John 1-10

The Incarnation of the Word of Life

1 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. 2 The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. 3 We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. 4 We write this to make our[a] joy complete.

Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness

5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.

8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

Romans 8:26,27,28

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

also Psalm 51

107/1000 forgiven

todolwen ~ Karen B.

Thursday, and hard to absorb the fact that more then half of 2014 is behind us!  It's been a busy ... stress-filled few months for me (and my entire family).  I really thought 2014 was going to be the best year ever and ... by my imperfect perspective ... it hasn't been.  I do that every year, think this year is really going to rock, and I have to admit that each year does seem to surpass the ones which came before once they have played out.  One of the things that helps me in general is the practice of gratitude.  And ... as with those things we choose to be mindful of, gratitude, as a habit or a cultivated attitude/posture takes a bit of time and focus.  

I am behind on consciously noting what I'm thankful for.   (I'm also behind on my dog walking deal and my yoga time ... maybe those are following behind the One Thousand Gifts, aka */1000 project that I'm working on ... maybe they will catch up soon.)  

Today, though, right now ...  

Michaela Davies

Psalm 32 

Blessed are the forgiven

1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, 

whose sin is covered.

2 Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, 

and in whose spirit there is no guile.

3 When I kept silence, 

my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.

4 For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: 

my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. 

Selah.

5 I acknowledge my sin unto thee, 

and mine iniquity have I not hid. 

I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; 

and 

thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. 

Selah.

6 For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.

7 Thou art my hiding place; 

thou shalt preserve me from trouble; 

thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. 

Selah.

8 I 

(meaning the Lord) 

will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: 

I will guide thee with mine eye.

9 Be ye not as the horse, 

or as the mule, 

which have no understanding: 

whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, 

lest they come near unto thee.

10 Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: 

but he that trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about.

11 Be glad in the Lord, 

and rejoice, ye righteous: 

and shout for joy, 

all ye that are upright in heart.

I'm thankful for the prayer and promise of Psalm 32. 

And I'm really glad (thankful) that it's possible for me to ask for forgiveness ... I've been angry ... and I've been fearful ... and I really don't need to be either one of those.  

It's pretty easy to see why Bonhoeffer thought that praying the Psalm was a good idea.  I really appreciate that God instructs us on how to approach Him ... here in this Psalm for example.  I can feel myself un-tensing as I release this anger to God who knows what to do with it, all of it (because I sure don't ... all I know to do is say ... here ... I'm sorry, I see anger is helping me to sin and btw ... fear is also helping me to sin.  Please forgive me.  Please help me with those two problems so that I don't go right back to the acting out sin stemming from those two sources (and while we are at it ... I'm willing to see other places as well ... those two I know about, but there are undoubtedly more.)  I am thankful the He may be found. 

And ... I am grateful for a hiding place.  That's a neat expression.  Sometimes I teasingly say I am hiding from my kids ... or, if you can't find me, I have probably moved to Alaska to hid out ... or ... in the airplane, it seems to be a place where none of my troubles can find me.  I am grateful that God says He will provide a hiding place and ... not only that but also preserve/deliver me from my troubles. Wow ... who wouldn't want that? 

It is so amazingly cool that God says "I" will instruct you and teach you what to do, where to go from here.  That's been one of my biggest concerns ... I just don't know what is best.  I am tangled up like a box of Chistmas lights, I can't tell one string from the other.  I have been learning about trust.  I do trust God.

mercy (amazing!) 

1 a :  compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; also :  lenient or compassionate treatment mercy

>

b :  imprisonment rather than death imposed as penalty for first-degree murder

2

a :  a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion

b :  a fortunate circumstance mercy

 they found her before she froze>

3

:  compassionate treatment of those in distress mercy

 among the poor>

mercy like a quilt wraps around me ... it was fortunate, I have been freezing! 

11 Be glad in the Lord, 

and rejoice, ye righteous: 

and shout for joy, 

all ye that are upright in heart.

thankful that the work Of Jesus Christ has made forgiveness possible, grateful to be sheltered by HIS righteousness ... Isaiah 61:10 ...  delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. (NIV)

I need to forgive as well as be forgiven ... He has that worked out as well.