Again with wind.

Yesterday I observed the effects of wind from the airplane.
Boy was it a rough ride from the back seat of a small light airplane.  Part of the check ride was recovery from unusual attitudes.  I wasn't sure that the young pilot "knew" to keep the airplane coordinated ... and especially so with the nose high,  close to stalling.  Right Front Seat was quite capable (which made it relatively comfortable safety wise ... ) ... I never felt that I was endangering my life and so could relax (somewhat) and observe the effect that the wind had on the plane.  It basically  threw us around.  I want to write only about my flying because of respect for the other pilot's privacy ... but I want to remember what it "felt like" to me from where all I could do was watch (and maybe pray ...  while I was relaxing).

Full rudder for departure ... I opted for a full power run up, uh "short field" technique without the best rate climb.  Departure was fun.  Setting up for cruise was ... I typically I hold altitude effortlessly, set 'er up, trim, good to go ... yesterday  I was in and out on the throttle,  the plane insisted on close supervision and even with my full attention, was suddenly up and down 100 foot either way on the desired altitude.  In other words ... there wasn't a sweet spot for holding altitude and I just had to accept it and wrestle with the plane.
Power off 180 straight in to the wind was the landing proposed for a little field along the route.  Check pilot laughed and said we'd never make my selected point.  I'm not bragging at all, I certainly had my doubts too, but we did make the 1000' marker.  I would have like a bit more assurance ... really don't like to play the let's see how this all works out game when I'm flying ... winds were gusty and I may have needed to push 'em in to the wall.  No flaps ... I shed the altitude with a slightly steeper turn immediately upon pulling the power and the carb heat  ... got below the tree line pretty fast.  It didn't sit down as firmly as I would have like.  Again full rpm before brake release for the departure.
Back at my field I opted for a look see on the long runway ... again, no flaps and full rudder.  I didn't like it and called missed approach once over the gate.  We did capture the glide scope all the way down,  but I felt that as we bled off airspeed in the transition, holding the runway might get a little messy.  Unnecessarily so because my other runway was only 20 degrees off rather then the 50 offered by the long runway.  Landing 29 was uneventful.
Once inside the terminal, a transit pilot asked for conditions and said he had requested an altitude envelope of 1000' to bounce around in.  They stopped at my airport so his wife could settle her stomach.  I believe he said they were enroute from Virginia to New Orleans.  I told him it was a rough ride and ice was in the forecast ... he said he would stay out of the clouds ... geez.  I noticed that they opted to settle in for the night.  Excellent call given how long they'd been aloft and how far they had yet to travel.  It sure wasn't going to get any friendlier to light single engine aircraft as the day wore on.

Umm ... experience helps quite a bit.  As did just trading seats (from my perspective).
Knowing what to look for  and what to interpret from how the airplane was responding ... having options and the flexibility to pull them out of the bag was a huge help.
Seat belts and shoulder harnesses in this actual case, but I guess from a spiritual perspective any of the restraints we impose upon ourselves for safety are things easily taken for granted when you don't think you need them, but really can come in handy when you do ... my lap belt was slack as was the shoulder harness and it took a good smack in the noggin before I cinched it up.
There is a place where rudder authority is exceeded ... it's interesting to push up against the limitations and those include the limits of one's own capabilities or cajones which ever comes first.
My stick hand was a little slick I noticed on taxi ... can't remember the last time that happened.  I have to say it (my leg of the trip) was a hoot.  I loved it.  Today my leg muscles are feeling the work out ... like I was doing some major squats yesterday ... mashing on those rudder pedals!
I think it is hard to gauge what one may be capable of ... spiritually.  I have said yes when I should have, knew to, say no.  Truth is, in life we really don't know what we're getting ready to get in to, or what point we are in too far.  And yet ... that is precisely how we acquire the experience to live well ...more fully.  Even more fully reliant on God's grace and tender care.  By that I'm not saying He cleans up the messes I make of my life, but that He works out for my betterment even those things that my higher angels would encourage me to avoid entirely.  We learn ... or at least we are offered opportunities to do so.

I'm thinking of the wind as a metaphor for the "workings" of the Spirit ... not always smooth or calm (that would get boring for all concerned).  I'm thinking of how the environment calls one to develop, adapt, calls one to alertness/attention ... points out sloppy technique or blasé attention to the basics (snugged up seatbelt) ... the limits of my control inputs/equipment ... all that.  All kinds of stuff that I can imagine in quiet reflect.

Another tiny note ...I notice I say (to myself) "I'm pissed about that" when really that hurts.  I don't like to say ... I hurt.  I am comfortable saying I'm pissed about that ... I set myself up where I can possibly get hurt and then when I get hurt I don't want to say ... ouch.  I wonder how different would it be if I just admitted to myself and possibly to others ... that hurts.  It hasn't gone well for me to say that hurts ... people I say that to reply,"no it doesn't" (like I don't know what hurts me).  I need to unlearn that ... responding to pain with anger (angry which is not expressed ... internalized anger, I'm comfortable being angry with myself I quess).  I think whacking my head yesterday may have some ramifications for me which I need to look at.  It didn't have to happen ... and it wasn't that big a deal ...  ...  just gave me an opportunity to look at an "owie" objectively (an entirely unintentional owie) ... it hurt.  Yeah, I'm thinking about something else.  Something that just hurts that I don't have to feel anything but the hurt of without complicating it with any thing else.  Sometimes life just hurts.  Could  I avoid some of that by "securing" myself?  
And other hurts ... hurts nearer and dearer ... hmmm, I'm thinking about it.  Intentional persistent little hurts ... how does one secure oneself against those pains?