so - lets do the death thing ... #3 on the list


I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.


I believe that, it is what was given to me to believe - Christianity.  Had I been born in a different time or place I may not have had the opportunity to think about these words and the truths lived out behind them.  I am fortunate.

I believe in the resurrection of the body ... I don't know how that works, I don't even have a firm opinion of the when of that.  I do like to imagine my brothers reunited in "heaven" now ... laughing together ... but I don't know if they are actually still "asleep" while they await a resurrection of the body.  I've read a bit of the apocrypha ... so much to read so little time and quite frankly I could spend more time reading the Bible as  modern protestants know it so spending much time on the apocrypha doesn't feel right for me.  
Okay, just as an aside, in literature it seemed to me that a lot of pieces alluded to ideas which were widely know but of which I was ignorant ... several of those "themes" are represented in the apocrypha ... is it the inspired word of God?  Idk.  
So back to resurrection which is already a sidetrack to the general plan of this note ... I don't know when the resurrection of one's body takes place ... I do believe it's a cooler body then the incredibly cool ones we have now, not just the uncorruptable aspect, the fact of that, but the why of that as well - the why of that is going to be super cool. (I think Adam and Eve had that super cool type of body before the fall - I think sin unwrapped them from that body and I think that is why they "felt naked" ... no reason that I can remember to justify why I think that, I just do.) 

And changed the glory of the incorruptible God 

 into an image made like to corruptible man, 

and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. 

Romans 1:23 KJ

and exchanged the glory of the immortal God 

for images made to look like a mortal human being 

and birds and animals and reptiles.

 Romans 1:23 NIV

so - whatever and when ever "that" is idk, but I would like to believe that the soul part of an individual is not resting (dead? asleep?  does my soul in its current form sleep?does it wake up when my body wakes up to go to the restroom in the middle of the night?  Is it "awake" when I am dreaming? ... ).  I would like to think/believe that my family is awake and experiencing cool stuff.  

Some people believe that our dead loved ones are still nearby our lives, like ... helping us.  I don't believe that myself.  It would be nice, but I'm hoping my guys have cooler stuff to occupy their time in eternity. I think they are done with this time and are "in" an entirely different time.  I don't think that they are aware of what's happening on this side of life as we know it.  

My mother was "seeing over there" during her last few hours. Was that real or just crazy cool brain chemistry - again, idk - but what she described was a group of people in a very pleasant environment.  As I listened to her I imagined that she was describing a very nice party. She recognized several of the people, one person she "saw" really surprised her ... she had imagined (hoped perhaps) that he would have to go to hell.  She "saw" a photographer at the party who was taking a picture of her as she sat in her hospital bed.  I "like" thinking that she was seeing into the next place her soul would be enjoying, maybe it was a welcome party for her.  Knowing my mother as I do, it is impossible for me to believe that she created or  "chose" that "vision" .  It wasn't what she would have imagined, what she would have most preferred.

I imagine my deceased loved ones "enjoying" themselves.  It's not as sad for me if they are enjoying themselves.

I think of Tommy more often than I do of the others.  I really thought he would be around to get old with.  I miss him.  I accept that I miss him.  

Yesterday reading Psalm 139:16: Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be 

I thought God definitely knows what is best. I leave it at that. Because all that stuff is unknowable. If I believe any of it I must believe that God is good and has good intentions.

For me, the hardest part was walking towards death with them.