I ended up on the quiet couch in the room with the young woman and though they could easily have heard our conversation I think they were too involved in the kind of laughing and kidding around that happens when old friends (even when they are family) get together. I threw in enough "'member whens ..." to hold up my end but mostly, I was interested in the girl. She's a year in to college, absolutely stunning, and 8 months pregnant.
Are you scared I asked her after we'd been chatting a bit. She said she was and asked how'd I know. I said because it is scary - having a baby, at least I thought it was before I became a mother. I told her that even though I'd read everything I could get my hands on about it that I was petrified when I was eight months pregnant. My mother had made it sound like something I'd never live through. At eight months I wasn't in a good place. I asked her exactly what are you afraid of and as she worked her way through the impressively knowledgeable list I just listened, nodded as appropriate and made small sounds of agreement. Pregnancy is scary. Bringing a baby home is crazy scary too. She asked me how it went. And I shared something like this - Sometime before the due date I realized that every human on the planet is born. A lot of women have had babies and I started looking closely at them. Basically I came to the conclusion that I would actually be probably better at the actual birthing process than most of the women I saw. (I have no idea now how I reached that conclusion and I laugh at what may sound like youthful arrogance ...) I told her that I saw myself as the sort of person who could do most stuff well and I thought she was that same type of woman. I asked her if she was absolutely horrible at anything and she laughed.
I told her that after having several pregnancies I am certain that the baby is already expressing personality traits and during quiet moments she may be able to hear him with her heart.
I wonder if I might be useful offering volunteer time to sit with young women who are finding their way through unplanned pregnancies.
I'm starting to long for grandchildren. As far as I know though, none of my children have starting a family on their "five year plan".
This is check point Charlie - Hwy 281 funnels everyone through there and it's been like that my entire life. Barely above that "gate" a new facility is being constructed. I really can't imagine that any smuggling drives through there. My friend said some high school date of hers popped off when they were headed up to Corpus for a fancy dinner out and those border patrol guys put them in separate interrogation rooms AND dismantled his mother's brand new Cadillac looking for contraband. What ever happened to the car after that I wondered and she said she had no idea. Her Daddy wasn't a fan of the guy before that bit of trouble, a suggestion to avoid him hadn't been heeded and there was no follow up after her dad had to drive up there in the dark of night!
2 comments:
What a loving way to take the opportunity that was given you, to befriend that young woman. I had a midwife with my fifth child and she was the most encouraging and calming birth attendant. I don't know that I was worried about the birth, but she mentioned her philosophy that childbirth is necessary for "the propagation of the species," so most of the time it has to "work" by producing a healthy child. :-)
She was a lovely young woman and I’m certain she will be an excellent mother. I was fortunate to get to spend a minute with her.
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