60 has been my favorite year so far and we've finished only 2/3rds of it. Probably several things have come together to make this such a neat time in my life. A major one for me is ... one of the things I have struggled with over the years is celebrating important occasions, marking milestones well. The Happiness Hypothesis guy, Haidt, well, let's do this...
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| The Happiness Hypothesis is a book about ten Great Ideas. Each chapter is an attempt to savor one idea that has been discovered by several of the world's civilizations -- to question it in light of what we now know from scientific research, and to extract from it the lessons that still apply to our modern lives and illuminate the causes of human flourishing. |
A friend and I were trying to float some of the scorching Texas heat off the other day when the topic of my hearing loss came up. I don't want to fiddle with hearing aids yet. I can tune out most of what I don't want to hear while still hearing birds chirp and the fountain energy resolving with a happy patter in the pool ... I was raised back when Walter Cronkite read you news you could count on, back before Third World Problems were our own.
She is a nurse Doctor (taught nursing) evolved to "Life Coach", super smart (like, I can see her actually thinking about what was said rather than what she's going to reply and it makes me smile). She is the most "free spirited" person I can ever remember letting in to my life. She said she has recently read studies linking hearing loss with dementia and told me that the area of my brain that processes and interprets language is also the memory recall center. I thought, but didn't say, I don't know about that*, she is after all a professional in that broader area.
*just because I have hearing loss doesn't mean that I will also develop dementia ... but maybe there is a link ... so have they linked memory with smell because my memories are easily prompted by smells as well ... sounds actually seem to recall feelings before memories (like this, Rumors album, released in 1977 which was the year I took my little world by the tail ... i hear a snippet form that and I smile. I feel happy ... why do I feel happy? Oh yeah, 1977. Language is different from sound, obviously related for the hearing, but still ... . Then I wondered about selective hearing, or selecting what I hear, and the idea of listening to the Haidt book quickly progressed to my Amazon wishlist. I'm listening to it while I sew quilt tops together and while I garden.
I like the quiet I find myself with. I didn't tell her this (because of that life coach thing) when she asked me what hearing loss "feels" like. But ... it feels good to me, my interior space is invitingly calm and generally happy ... it's the outside world that is troubling. That a dial down the societal hum makes sense to me. It's in my good choice column for now. I like the book and I love being read too, it there are memory health advantages to me gained that's even better!
60 has been my favorite year so far and we've finished only 2/3rds of it.
Probably several things have come together to make this such a neat time in my life. A major one for me is ... one of the things I have struggled with over the years is celebrating important occasions, marking milestones well. My sixtieth birthday celebration seemed like a good place to start trying to remedy that . The Happiness Hypothesis guy, Haidt, said, the time after responsibilities to/for others decrease and the time before health related problems occur, is measurably the best, happiest time of our lives. That has been my experience as well.
Haidt also noted that it is the actual process of achieving our goal that creates happiness while the completion of those efforts usually culminates in something more like a sign of relief. that idea also resonates with my goal oriented self.
Before my big birthday I told my husband that a "one time thing" really didn't seem like enough time to eek all the joy out of arriving at sixty, the big 6-oh, feeling as wonderful about life as I do. He said, for this year we will celebrate your birthday everyday, and he is reminding me of why I liked him in the first place every time he says "It's your birthday!"
"Will you grill steaks on Sunday?"
"For your birthday? Sure!"
One of the ways to "be" happier according to Haidt, and I believe it, is to chose to spend your time doing things that make you happy. I like walking as much as I have liked flying. I like being at the walking time of my life. I'm really enjoying this quieter season of my life.
2 comments:
Bravo. Stay on the path. God bless.
I can relate to so much of this! When I'm not freaking out about the strangeness of "going on alone" without my husband -- it still seems downright weird even when it's not as psychologically scary as it was -- I am amazed by how happy I am.
Age is a relative thing, and I'm sure that you feel far from Old Age, but C.S. Lewis did not live as long as I have, and he said, "Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. But of course, like autumn, it doesn't last." I wonder if we can think this because we are old enough to be wise enough to appreciate how slowing down makes possible new delights, like walking!
I am figuring out that while certain activities and behaviors do keep me more fit and ageing perhaps a little more slowly, there is no stopping the decline, whether it be in small or large increments. So if I have a day that I feel older than usual for some reason, I can find plenty of activities to enjoy that fit with that reality. Acceptance of Reality is huge! Maybe contentment is another word for it.
Your husband is awesome!!! (and I never use that word.)
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