orchid clouds

Low OVC here today cancelled the flight lesson I had scheduled.  "Student" really should have called yesterday to cancel, all the signs were there and I'm trying to help him look just a bit farther ahead, both from the ground on things like weather and in the air on things exactly like flying the plane ... more plugged in.  Ah well, finally he did call.  It's just ... if you're going to fly, the flight begins before you pull the airplane out of the hanger ... .

Pilots of light aircraft really should be watching the weather.

Orchids ... how they look right now, right over there on the buffet.  I like them. They look like little clouds showering rain beneath ... just like outside will look in a short while.

Today I am so glad to be basically fininshed with the chair I was working on.  An e-mail popped in notifying me of an estate sale opening today stretching through the weekend.  I need another piece ... kinda wanting a small side table this time.  I have decided to dip those feet in dark stain ... waiting for a warm day to do that, it's sort of a back porch thing.  Today I want to get busy tidying the house up for the weekend.  Shouldn't take long ... .

Time for some really loud music ... lol.

What I've been up to today ...

at the thrift shop

 This may be complete ... I need some help muscle-ing the back in to place and securing it.  I may hand stitch the trim braid on to the fabric where it meets the wood on the seat back.  That was the original intent.  Also, where the "feet" are stained I am thinking about bringing that up a bit.  I may change the feet, the scale seems a little off to me, and I'm thinking about "dipping" them in a very happy shade of yellow (it's noted in the fabric).

Under the loose cushion and on the outside back the fabric is a smokey blue linen ... I love the color and the texture.

Soup from my daughter's garden for lunch today.  Chicken broth with ... Kale, onion and shaved turnips ... black beans from the pantry.  Delicious!

20 Feb @ 6:59 EST

sudden shift on line below Denver

21 Feb @ 12:59 EST

in this picture it's over there on the Texas/Louisianna border and you can see that circulation around the Low

not much blowing around over here today ... Maybe I should go pick up the fire wood that blew out of the trees on Saturday! ... Looks like we are in for some more rain!

pretty cool, huh?

contrails ...

Clouds come floating into my life,

 no longer to carry rain or usher storm, 

but to add color to my sunset sky.  

~Rabindranath Tagore

What are contrails?
Contrails are a type of ice cloud, formed by aircraft as water vapor condenses around small dust particles, which provide the vapor with sufficient energy to freeze. The water vapor is already in the air surrounding the aircraft while the dust, or condensation nuclei, is comprised primarily of soot particles produced during the combustion process. They can also form when water vapor from the airplane’s engines collide with the water vapor in the air.
CONTRAILS from NASA's Museum in a Box

... there's more ... make the jump! 

Forgiveness ~ Matthew West

Song heard on the radio today ... goes directly to the question of how to address those "persistent intentional hurts" ... it moves away the mad inside/it's always anger's own worst enemy ...

"Forgiveness"

~ Matthew West

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

notes/yesterday's sermon and a couple of thoughts since then

~ found image

The unfolding of your words gives light;
    it gives understanding to the simple. ~Ps.119:130

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, 
a worker who does not need to be ashamed 
and who correctly handles the word of truth. ~2 Timothy 2:15

And ... my notes transcribed as follows:

unfolds

meditates

and savors ... the word

unfold - open, uncover, discover ... "gives light" understanding to the simple (go to the scripture expecting to be taught something - always something more

break it open, understand it, before one can live it

look, consider, discern ----> requires diligence

God is the source of the Gospel, the author ... every verse must be able to bear the weigth of the entire Bible. There is only one meaning, one truth (not what it means to me) ---> As one perfect diamond cut and polished to be multi-faceted, the word may shine different lights in different context.  

He's saying it all "fits" together and means something as a book ... he said this Book is the bearing of God's soul ... same God, same story through out.  I can see how I bear my soul here in this little place where I write, and because I know my story completely, intimately, it all makes perfect sense to me how these last few years of my musings "fit" together.  Even this little notebook can be looked at as little stories, but in fact, what I am doing is attempting to tell my story to myself and especially to my children for later ... not to be morbid, but the women in my family usually don't make it to sixty ... so I endeavor to be transparent in this little search for True North ... Could it be that the God of the Universe gave us a book whereby he hoped to expose his heart.  I think so ... I've thought that for a long time.  My husband and I t-boned a car when I was several months pregnant with our first born child ... we had previously been in a car accident which resulted in a miscarriage a few years earlier ... the most obvious difference in the two wrecks was that in the second one we were wearing seat belts ... it's kind of a funny story because the guys we ran in to were drunk and pulled through our lane in to the drive way of a whorehouse, it was the only structure out basically in the middle of nothing else.  When I got out of the car ... eight months huge and bleeding, the ladies of ill-repute poured out of the house to my aid ... long story short, the pregnancy was successful and I wondered had we not been mandated to wear our seat belts, because it became law in Texas that very day, would we have died leaving our baby behind with no way to know us or how very much we loved him and hoped to spend time with him ... when I thought that, I immediately thought that's exactly what happened to God ... he wanted time with us, but events separated Him from His children ... and so ... He wrote a book explaining the story and wooing us to hope for a time after this time when we might find a way ( via His only begotten son, Jesus) back to nearness to Him.  Anyway ... that's when the Bible started seeming like more then just a bunch of little stories ... good words of "advice" ... somewhat antiquated perhaps ... that's when I started thinking of The Bible as a message to mankind from the Creator.  It seemed like I would want to avail myself of that very special message. Back to the sermon notes ...

meditate - has the context of "in-depth, prolonged reflection in the presence of God". It takes a while to "digest" all the nutrients (and then he talked about the bovine digestive system of chew and re-chew).

Next he gave the illustration of the "locks" that make up the Panama canal.  As the vessel transitions from one side to the other there is progression through the locks.  "Open up your entire being to allow penetration to every fiber.", Pastor encouraged, listing examples of "spiritual locks" as possibly ... blindness, hard-heartedness, hidden aspects of our soul ... "Let your longings be open to God ... open your heart to the word of God."

savor - God intends for the Bible to be read, studied, understood on a personal level ... it is intended as an intimate missive.  then he gave a cooking analogy ... baste/ soak/ marinade ... and encouraged the listeners to chose to marinade themselves in the words of God.  Next he described a movie ... The Soldier and the Rose ... or maybe it was just a story ... here is what I have found of it:

THE SOLDIER
Author Unknown

John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind.

In front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II

During the next year and one-month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A Romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.

When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 pm at Grand Central Station in New York.

"You'll recognize me, " she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen.

I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened: A young women was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the women whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own

And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible; her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.

I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the women, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"

The women's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"

It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."

The Pastor's closing words ... "God bears His soul in the words in his book - there by He draws me to Himself".

I understand that.  I totally get it.

Again with wind.

Yesterday I observed the effects of wind from the airplane.
Boy was it a rough ride from the back seat of a small light airplane.  Part of the check ride was recovery from unusual attitudes.  I wasn't sure that the young pilot "knew" to keep the airplane coordinated ... and especially so with the nose high,  close to stalling.  Right Front Seat was quite capable (which made it relatively comfortable safety wise ... ) ... I never felt that I was endangering my life and so could relax (somewhat) and observe the effect that the wind had on the plane.  It basically  threw us around.  I want to write only about my flying because of respect for the other pilot's privacy ... but I want to remember what it "felt like" to me from where all I could do was watch (and maybe pray ...  while I was relaxing).

Full rudder for departure ... I opted for a full power run up, uh "short field" technique without the best rate climb.  Departure was fun.  Setting up for cruise was ... I typically I hold altitude effortlessly, set 'er up, trim, good to go ... yesterday  I was in and out on the throttle,  the plane insisted on close supervision and even with my full attention, was suddenly up and down 100 foot either way on the desired altitude.  In other words ... there wasn't a sweet spot for holding altitude and I just had to accept it and wrestle with the plane.
Power off 180 straight in to the wind was the landing proposed for a little field along the route.  Check pilot laughed and said we'd never make my selected point.  I'm not bragging at all, I certainly had my doubts too, but we did make the 1000' marker.  I would have like a bit more assurance ... really don't like to play the let's see how this all works out game when I'm flying ... winds were gusty and I may have needed to push 'em in to the wall.  No flaps ... I shed the altitude with a slightly steeper turn immediately upon pulling the power and the carb heat  ... got below the tree line pretty fast.  It didn't sit down as firmly as I would have like.  Again full rpm before brake release for the departure.
Back at my field I opted for a look see on the long runway ... again, no flaps and full rudder.  I didn't like it and called missed approach once over the gate.  We did capture the glide scope all the way down,  but I felt that as we bled off airspeed in the transition, holding the runway might get a little messy.  Unnecessarily so because my other runway was only 20 degrees off rather then the 50 offered by the long runway.  Landing 29 was uneventful.
Once inside the terminal, a transit pilot asked for conditions and said he had requested an altitude envelope of 1000' to bounce around in.  They stopped at my airport so his wife could settle her stomach.  I believe he said they were enroute from Virginia to New Orleans.  I told him it was a rough ride and ice was in the forecast ... he said he would stay out of the clouds ... geez.  I noticed that they opted to settle in for the night.  Excellent call given how long they'd been aloft and how far they had yet to travel.  It sure wasn't going to get any friendlier to light single engine aircraft as the day wore on.

Umm ... experience helps quite a bit.  As did just trading seats (from my perspective).
Knowing what to look for  and what to interpret from how the airplane was responding ... having options and the flexibility to pull them out of the bag was a huge help.
Seat belts and shoulder harnesses in this actual case, but I guess from a spiritual perspective any of the restraints we impose upon ourselves for safety are things easily taken for granted when you don't think you need them, but really can come in handy when you do ... my lap belt was slack as was the shoulder harness and it took a good smack in the noggin before I cinched it up.
There is a place where rudder authority is exceeded ... it's interesting to push up against the limitations and those include the limits of one's own capabilities or cajones which ever comes first.
My stick hand was a little slick I noticed on taxi ... can't remember the last time that happened.  I have to say it (my leg of the trip) was a hoot.  I loved it.  Today my leg muscles are feeling the work out ... like I was doing some major squats yesterday ... mashing on those rudder pedals!
I think it is hard to gauge what one may be capable of ... spiritually.  I have said yes when I should have, knew to, say no.  Truth is, in life we really don't know what we're getting ready to get in to, or what point we are in too far.  And yet ... that is precisely how we acquire the experience to live well ...more fully.  Even more fully reliant on God's grace and tender care.  By that I'm not saying He cleans up the messes I make of my life, but that He works out for my betterment even those things that my higher angels would encourage me to avoid entirely.  We learn ... or at least we are offered opportunities to do so.

I'm thinking of the wind as a metaphor for the "workings" of the Spirit ... not always smooth or calm (that would get boring for all concerned).  I'm thinking of how the environment calls one to develop, adapt, calls one to alertness/attention ... points out sloppy technique or blasé attention to the basics (snugged up seatbelt) ... the limits of my control inputs/equipment ... all that.  All kinds of stuff that I can imagine in quiet reflect.

Another tiny note ...I notice I say (to myself) "I'm pissed about that" when really that hurts.  I don't like to say ... I hurt.  I am comfortable saying I'm pissed about that ... I set myself up where I can possibly get hurt and then when I get hurt I don't want to say ... ouch.  I wonder how different would it be if I just admitted to myself and possibly to others ... that hurts.  It hasn't gone well for me to say that hurts ... people I say that to reply,"no it doesn't" (like I don't know what hurts me).  I need to unlearn that ... responding to pain with anger (angry which is not expressed ... internalized anger, I'm comfortable being angry with myself I quess).  I think whacking my head yesterday may have some ramifications for me which I need to look at.  It didn't have to happen ... and it wasn't that big a deal ...  ...  just gave me an opportunity to look at an "owie" objectively (an entirely unintentional owie) ... it hurt.  Yeah, I'm thinking about something else.  Something that just hurts that I don't have to feel anything but the hurt of without complicating it with any thing else.  Sometimes life just hurts.  Could  I avoid some of that by "securing" myself?  
And other hurts ... hurts nearer and dearer ... hmmm, I'm thinking about it.  Intentional persistent little hurts ... how does one secure oneself against those pains? 

"The duel between Christianity and atheism is the most important in the world.... the struggle between individualism and collectivism is the same struggle reproduced on another level." ~ William F. Buckley, Jr.

... What I'm thinking about right now ...

Check ride complete ... I was great fun. Except the part when I was strapped in snug in the back seat while another pilot got his ride and I smacked the top of my head on the roof so hard that it still smarts here five hours later. I am medicating with a rather stiff very dirty martini.  It was a bumpy ride ... I don't like sitting in back.
Crazy hot pink slippers up rocks though.

Several years ago I painted this water-color heart for the "coffee/donut before Sunday school" buffet table at our church ... it was our turn.  I like the verse, 1 John 4:16:

And so we know

and rely

on the love God has for us.

God is love,

whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

It was my intention to take some time to doodle out another water colored heart for wishing everyone Happy Valentine's Day.  But.  Suddenly, I have a check ride scheduled and an huge pile of loose ends to tidy up before the ride.  CAP has about 100 different little tests and pledges that must be properly stacked and stapled (not really but it does seem like that ...) first ... some of them have a now expired shelf life which I must correct.  I have been waiting for the ride since last May.  It's gone beyond patience to whatever.  As I searched for the word all I could do is shrug ... that's whatever isn't it?  I think I am synthesizing happiness.  That flying is the only flying that fits with the promises I have already made.  And ... it makes the possibility of future flying possibilities viable, it will keep me current and proficient.  One of my buddies who has now moved on to the airlines asked, "Isn't that organization just a bunch of old men?" It made me laugh right out loud.  The imported IP told me (over the phone) that he is/was an army rotor guy ... 40 some odd years in. I think that old guy can show me a thing or two ... and it's nice that they are making room for an old girl (hahaah).  He flat out asked me during our conversation how old I am and didn't even bother to wrap it in all the PC rigmarole. At least I understand what the old guys what to know when they talk to me!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Chair

What I got done on it today ... it's been tedious!  And ... I'm second guessing the "wild" fabric choice.  It's for the den and the colors look great with the rug ... everything else in there is very neutral.  I guess I am just a very monochromatic, neutral palette kinda girl.  So out of the box for me that I may be able to actually sell it!

My brother just can't quite believe we do okay without a TV in the house.  He has called several times today to make certain that I am aware of the weather in my area.  Yes, I assure him, barely raining here, nope the wind is calm ... uh huh, just a bit of thunder, nothing to be alarmed about.  The dog isn't bothering about it yet.  Sammy the weather dog.  Sammy says it's a fine evening to be under the porch.  

I was awake a lot last night.  Dreams I can't remember today, they seemed so real last night.  I like that. The opportunity to "experience" something outside of "real" as we know it.  I like reading the thoughts good thinkers have expressed about dreams.  Ever since I was tiny I dreamed of flying, maybe that was inspired by all the Disney productions we saw at the drive-in movies right before we drifted off to sleep in the back of my parent's red Chevy wagon.  They'd run us through the bathtub, dress us in p.j.s and slippers and take us out for a double feature ... Uncle Walt first then John Wayne or some such.  I loved it, out under the stars with those scratchy transmitters ... sometimes my Dad would bring lawn chairs along and we sit outside near the car.  

I dreamed of flying and then I learned how to fly and the dreams stopped ... not completely, I sometimes still dream I'm flying something, but back then, I was just flying around in my body.  

My book did come on Saturday and I am itching for the house to get quiet so I can dive in to it ... have read a bit and I think it is going to be ... pivotal.

Next ... a some point during the night I looked at Alistair Begg's latest idea, in a nut shell:

Harder to be Full Then Empty

I know how to abound. ~ Philippians 4:2

There are many who know" how to be brought low" who have not learned "how to abound".  When they are set upon the top of a pinnacle their heads grow dizzy, and they are ready to fall.  The Christian disgraces his profession more often in prosperity than in adversity.

What I was thinking about after reading the devotional->
If/When something happens which lifts my soul, or unfolds my soul, something which helps me experience God's nearness ... that's the context I am thinking of "prosperity" in.  Something which enriches the soul.
  
Everyonceinawhile, I "feel" the slightest brush of what must be God's hand (and it feels really good ... like He really is present) and I want that.  Unfortunately, it soon feels kinda greedy, selfish, sort of I want to feel good, safe ... cherished want.  A "grasping" sort of thing, rather then a resting in sort of thing.   Last night I was thinking that those few moments when one "feels" really good are almost exactly like a dream.  Fleeting and then, surreal.  And then ... forgotten.  I'm working on "abounding" well.  I wonder how does one just go with the flow of the comfort and security, the shelter of God's felt presence.  Like this ... The children of Israel were delivered from the yolk of bondage and eventually they were in the middle of nowhere, hungry, scared, probably bone tired.  They had seen all the super cool "plague" miracles, were led by a cloud during the day and a fiery column at night (if I remember story correctly), in short, they had "experienced the presence of God" ... and then they were in that bad spot and God provided food from right out of thin air ... nourishment fell right at their feet, surrounding them.  Super cool and amazing.  They were suddenly prosperous ... and with the food came the admonition to gather up only enough for right now.  Enough for right now resonates as an exercise in trust to me.  They might have had no reason not to trust as the story unfolds, but some set about to put some back for tomorrow, presumable so they would have some just in case God didn't provide, they set about to provide for themselves when specifically instructed not to.  It's ironic that they had plenty by the hand of God but couldn't bring themselves to "trust" in the steadiness of that hand and the "heart" beyond it.   Something intended as good became bad for them.  Their actions messed up the "prosperity".
I can see a lot of the rational that would drive me to gather more then enough, I mean who knows how much one might truly need?  And ... maybe I misunderstood the directions in the first place ... and ... .  I think this prosperity lesson is for me about not trying to do things for myself to make myself "feel" how I like to feel.  It is something like knowing that the Unseen is near even when I cannot see him.  It's a little bit about trust in the sense that trust supports the peacefulness of believing God is who he says he is.  It's not so easy when all one's senses clamor for a continuing state of prosperity.  The thing I am trying to express falls away when we try to pull it tightly around ourselves.  
Like a dream ... I remember that I felt a way I liked to feel.  I have the memory of a time but, I am unable to reproduce the feeling.  I know that doesn't make sense, but I'm going to leave it like that while I think about it some more.  Let's see ... hmmm ... somebody brought to me a gift and I loved what they brought to me.   Their presence was part of what the gift was ... or was I mistaken about that?  Now the gift is opened and uh, it's a raincoat, I wear it all the time and I love it, it keeps me warm and snug.  But ... and ... I liked when the raincoat was delivered ... the someone smiled when I opened the gift and held it while I slid in to it, and lifted my hair as I drew the rain coat near ... I turned around to say thank you and we hugged.  That's it ... the rain coat is "the prosperity" (some folks have only a towel, some have not even an umbrella or a roll of Bounty) but I miss the smile and the hug which accompanied the gift..  I have the raincoat but I am bereft of the gift-giver, of the shared smiled, of the warmth of the embrace.  The memory of receiving the gift is like a dream, I close my eyes and see it happening, but I can't "feel" it.  Hmmm, full and empty at the same time.  I think I needed the raincoat for the journey.

Prosperity ...  successful, flourishing, or thriving condition (especially financial, but not especially here in this context).

fabric and trim braid for the latest project

UNKNOWN

(found photo)

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. 

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

 Same place two steps forward ... totally different light to see in ... just like life.  Yesterday I read that the Portuguese explorers, well, here: As the early Portuguese explorers knew, "It is important to travel. It is not important to arrive."  I will hold that thought ... travel, I can do ... keep on moving forward to what I do not know ... I can do that.  Now some interesting mail has pinged in and I want to look at the link provided.  I already know it's gonna be something I need for the journey today.

Today ... little road trip for me ...Husband has meeting this evening 4.5 hour drive North of here.  Forecast to rain all day, chilly ... He wont be finished until probably pretty late.  I'll keep him company on the drive.  Also plan to stop at a really neat fabric store for my latest project (and maybe a new curtain in the bathroom, I'm kinda itching to paint that room something bold, something that pops.  New curtain fabric would help me chose a color.  Yesterday I cleaned that bathroom from ceiling to floor and noticed that the sheers gathered tight in the window frame just seem to encourage little powdery black mold.  I think something entirely different would be better in there.

Disappointed that I most likely didn't get the job. H, who knows things, says they are probably ironing out details with the successful candidate and can't let us losers know til it's a done deal.  (She said it a lot nicer then that).  Looking back on it I can see that I could have interviewed better, ah hindsight ... where all the answers are polished and well seasoned with a light touch of humor.  Oh well  (sigh).  Back to looking for possibilities. I'll get better at interviewing.  My book still isn't here (but I smell fabulous) ... tempted to make a quick run over to the library for something to read just in case they don't have wifi up there.

Dinner last night ... bacon swiss burger patty:  

• 1/2 # ground pork
• 1/2 # ground lean beef
• 1/4 cup coarsely grated swiss cheese
• 2TSP finely chopped red onion
• garlic, salt and pepper to taste
• 2 slices thick cut bacon

combine, shape, dress with 1/2 strip of thick bacon ... place bacon side up in hot dry skillet, flip to brown both sides and cook through.  Delicious, I severed it with BBQ sauce.

L, my husband, shocked me and made me laugh this morning when I told him ... yes, it is raining, like real rain, and is supposed to all day long ... he begin to sing; It's a miserable day in the neighborhood, a miserable day for a neighbor ... won't you be ... too funny bc he sings pretty much only at church and when the kid's birthday cakes come in to the room with candles blazing.  I didn't even know he knew that Mr. Roger's song ... just full of surprises.

What blew in today ...

"Sanctuary"
~ Kathy Thaden
http://www.thadenmosaics.com

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” 
~ Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP 

We should then see that all the broken images, formerly only fleetingly perceived, were actually but fragments of these true and steady forms, now clearly and steadily beheld.
~ Joseph Campbell, Oriental Mythology, The Masks of God

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." ~ I Corinthians 13:12

“It is good to love many things, 

for therein lies the true strength, 

and whosoever loves much performs much, 

and can accomplish much, 

and what is done in love is well done.”  

~Vincent van Gogh

"The truck" is going to stop for me today ... pretty exciting.  Last week I ordered a new book and a bottle of perfume (Tokyo Milk Dead Sexy ...  A romantic and ethereal fragrance of deep vanilla, exotic wood, white orchid, and ebony ... my favorite, and difficult to find out here in the middle of nowhere that believes it's somewhere ... I have grown to love it right here and especially now that we can "shop" online and get "the truck" to stop by).  I think I will either reallyreallyreally like the book or find it absolutely appalling ... so, that's on my mind this morning.

WIND turned out to be the word for the week. Just a little bit because of the weather sweeping over large portions of the country.  I am a big fan of wind, as a concept, a metaphor.

The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” ~ John 3:8

As a "picture" of God's Spirit ...

As I wonder about how "stuff" comes together and fits together.  

One of the things I like to do, is pay attention to the words I read or hear over and over again in close succession.  I like to be alert to a trend. ... 

wind
And don't we also spell wind, as wind a clock, or as thought threads winding their way together to become a belief, a belief which may provide shelter for the psyche, one's own or another's ... this past week, someone wondered where thoughts even come from ... and they seem to almost just blow it.

Wind is a huge considerate for a pilot.  The lighter or slower I am, the more it matters ... where is it coming from?  The wind is at play ... it is a factor ... friend or foe ... I get to decide.

wind map

What I am really thinking about (that stuff is just one of the little pieces of this little thought process) is still ... we come to life and go through it with a relatively small number of people.  From early on I have my brother and my old friend ... still significant past the half way point (yeah, probably so) in this tiny "life".  I become more and more certain that whatever comes after life as we know it is both grossly and finely tuned by the modulations we accept/invite in life. We "modulate" to accommodate or support the people we care most about ... family, friends ... significant folks.  Last night I was trying to talk with my husband about this stuff because I recognize that his near presence (proximity) is an influence that I chose and continue to choose in the shaping, or fitting, of my soul.  And ... mine in his.  We spend more time "near" each other then any other physically near and important ... we must be major influences, or maybe just should be in some cases, in one an other's lives.  I asked him what do I bring to your life?  It took awhile to frame that question so that he could hear it, but eventually  he was able to shape it into the sort of question that one might analyze ... he thinks ... spontaneity, joy, laughter ... gracefulness ... he summarized by saying "You are a good woman".  Very nice words, I wonder if it was husbandspeak because very soon after the last word on the (rather short) list (... lol) was uttered I heard steady breathing.  I thought, maybe he is really thinking about this, but ... he was just sleeping.  (Yesterday he did our Federal Taxes ... exhausting ... I hope he was dreaming of a big return).  I did get to tell him that his steadiness does provide a shelter in which I can be a lot like me ... spontaneous ... kind ... that sort of thing.  I don't have a lot of worries unless I go looking for them.  He makes sure that I get to enjoy time in the upper quadrants of the pyramid. He won't do the zip lines ... no way he's going to hang-glide around the Christ statue in Rio.

Not a bit deal ... I call it a day's fun, I think he might call it nonsense!  I do have one buddy very near by, Four, who would also call this fun and would probably help pack a picnic for the day.  And ... my brother would probably like this, so ... I have people who would do this with me.

I'm off track ... sidetracked ... what I'm trying to say is ... why these people?  What do we bring to one another that God might see as a significant shaping (of one another concurrently) feature, or characteristic.  I can remember 10 year old me ( I actually saw her in the face of a child at church yesterday as she listened so intently to the children's sermon ... her demeanor, "spiffed up for church", listening attentively but with after lunch plans brewing on the back burner ... ), I remember 16 year old me ... 20 year old me ... 27 year old me ... 30, 33, 37,42 ... 50 ...  all those DeAnns sifting shifting  shaping scraping ... stretching, to become who I am now, and who I am becoming.  And who I am becoming for, I believe, some idea that God has in mind for me ... and for each of us on a very intimate personal level. Husband pointed out that a lot of people chose to have a lot more people in their lives then we have chosen (via blended families, larger circles of acquaintances, bigger masses of folks found in more densely populated areas ... it's true, I tend towards smaller groups, more eye contact or soul contact ... ).  Each person (or influence even like a book or stuff we want to learn more about ... the where we spend our time) that comes near, either physically, or otherwise, plays an important role in our lives I think.  I am trying to explore that, the who they /what they are, and what that might indicate.  Maybe if I can see the "implements" more clearly, I may begin to understand a bit more about the means and the end.  And ... I am glad I have time to "value" the people in my life.  I am glad to think of these as God's choices for me (as C.S.Lewis so eloquently put it, "A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work.").  Relationships may be about collaborative being, and becoming.

Lots to do today.  I think I'm gonna turn up some tunes ... .

Added on 6 Feb.
someone sent a link  to this ... and it goes with this wind stuff i think.
High winds have a positive effect on many plants, stimulating their roots to grow deeper so as to anchor the plant more firmly in the soil.
Dr. David Jeremiah

Alexander Smith Quotes

~ found on PINTEREST

Alexander Smith, a Scottish poet (1830-1867)


Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. 

If you wish to preserve your secret, wrap it up in frankness. 

There is no ghost so difficult to lay as the ghost of an injury.

The world is not so much in need of new thoughts as that when thought grows old and worn with usage it should, like current coin, be called in, and, from the mint of genius, reissued fresh and new. 

Kahlil Gibran quotes

"If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more

we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.

And if our hands should meet in another dream

we shall build another tower in the sky."

"Much of your pain is self-chosen. 

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. 

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility: 

For this hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen...".

February

2013