Woke up this morning with a headache, I think it grips the entire top right side of my brain, occasionally I feel it seep back to my neck, like an IV treads anesthetic this trails something like numbness and something like pain.  I think it pings my spinal chord and ricochets back up to my temple. The muscles in my neck and right shoulder blade area are tense and my right eyes is cringing a little.  It may be sinuses ... or maybe it's just plain ole stress stacking up on me.

Husband is out scouting some pre-Civil War boundary lines with some of his buds, it's a project, probably interesting, I don't know much about it at all.  I think of it as man cave type stuff.

Last night one of the girls was going to sleep with me.  It's sort of a prize left over from childhood, when Daddy is away someone can sleep in his spot.  I noted that she had evacuated sometime during the night and this morning she told me that I startle ... my legs jump a lot while I am asleep.  She said I gasp for air, like a swimmer.  I feel bad.  During the day I maintain a very calm demeanor, but I know I am struggling with something ... phantoms.  I am beginning to know something that I don't want to know.  Or maybe I just can't quite grasp it ... I do think I am trying.  I wonder, do we come to our lives with "some stuff" we are supposed to work out?  I think ... maybe.  Maybe we do.  I had been thinking it was all about making a choice about God and eternity.  Now I'm starting to think we come in on a mission sort like a seal team ... we all work together as individuals and as a team ... we have stuff that we are supposed to do and can do because we are us ... doing it makes us stronger versions of our true selves.  Maybe.  That's what I'm thinking about now.

Last night I dreamed that I was wearing a simple black knee length dress (I really do have a closet full of dresses that match that description) over a vibrant golden gown.  The under dress, because it was longer, kept on slipping down to my calves ... for some reason it was important to keep it hidden, like a secret, and I was concerned that it didn't lay smooth under the outer dress and would be apparent to anyone/everyone that I had ... layers ... in the dream I wondered if it could be mistaken for a slip.  A slip like ladies used to always wear under their dresses, back in the day.  For some reason I decided that I simply must change clothes and I looked in a closet but quickly realized that it was not my closet, I was in the wrong place.  Then I went to my closet and when I opened the door all but two of my garments were gone ... the remaining ones had been pushed roughly to one side and were dangling on their hangers in saw dust or ashes ... the floor was in disarray.  There was a door on the back of the closet and it was opened shedding light in to the closet.  I peeked in and saw something that looked like fluffy white clouds bathed in golden light ... I've seen actual places like that before many times, one comes quickly to mind and it is one of my favorite images.  I stepped back, out of the closet and saw all my clothes carelessly tossed out on to the floor.  I felt sad.  I also noticed that all the clothes were beautiful white and golden and silver ... just like the colors in the clouds (the ones on top of an overcast layer ... if you've seen them you know exactly what they look like, if you haven't, I am sorry but I can't describe them ... clouds are so cool up there). That door opened into the attic as some closets in two story homes do ... it didn't seem strange in the dream to know that that was the attic door, but it was very strange that it was opened and that all my things were out of place ... and that every garment was so, hmmm, festive I guess is the word, and elegant.  Maybe it had something to do with packing up the Christmas ornaments ... most of ours are gold, or silver, or white, glittery, beautiful, they look delicate but they're not, not really, they just need to be handled properly.  In the dream I was picking up my clothes, laying them out nicely and wondering why the closet was such a mess, with the floor all torn up and the walls shredded down to the studs.  It didn't make sense.  Then I heard a deafening noise ... like a high caliber rifle and turned to see a man shooting it into the attic space.  Why are you doing that I asked.  And he said he was getting ready to sound proof the attic and was measuring the sound that came out of it first.

I think that is a super creepy dream. (We can hear squirrels galloping across the roof top ... maybe that's where the sound proofing thing dropped in from.)   The attic is symbolic of: To see an attic in your dream represents hidden memories or repressed thoughts that are being revealed. It also symbolizes your mind, spirituality, and your connection to the higher Self. Alternatively, it signifies difficulties in your life that may hinder you from attaining your goals and aspirations. However, after a long period of struggle, you will overcome these difficulties. Yeah, I think  one can infer significance from one's dreams ... I think we have them for a real reason and what we are able to recall of them merits thought.  My headache makes me wonder if they are generated over on the right side.  A lot of the dream research I've read addresses dreams from a scientific or logical POV ... but I think there's a bit more to it then that.  Just like some renegade part of me thinks that cookies can make things better ... obviously illogical.

Yesterday I ate three of my super duper homemade chocolate chip cookies ... and later, basically for dinner, I indulged in a Butterfinger blast from Sonic (really really yummy ... with whipped cream).

I think my brain doesn't love that much sugar.  I think this is a sugar headache ... right after I finish this cup of coffee I'm going to ban sugar for myself for ... hmmm ... a week.

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;

 but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

~ Abraham Lincoln