I am thinking about CAP flying.  There is a local chapter.  One of my WAI buddies liked it a lot.  I don't really know what they do ... and ... I really do not like the idea of the uniform ... to me it looks sorta faux-military.  A buddy said they, CAPS, are having an open house.  It seems kinda desperate to me ... but, I am kinda desperate ... lol.  If it's about Eagles programs and search and rescue flying I would love that ... . If it's about para-military ... I wouldn't like that.  We invited them to speak at a chapter thing and I thought he did a good talk ... absolutely no reason not to "visit" with them.  I haven't flown in about three months. Last night L sat down with me and tuned 16R up on his iPad ... Van Nuys ... my face was smiling but my heart was clenching a bit.  It hurts.  And ... those planes so totally rock ... and those old pilots reminiscencing ... so sweet.

Gotta find a good way to do this ... .

Here is that Ginkgo Pot I was talking about the other day ... it is at the leather stage in the drying process ... I like it.  It's going to be a nice little pot ... looks like.  I work at this stuff I do ... I like the opportunity to learn and I like learning about spiritual things from physical things.

Ginkgo Biloba is used in pharmaceuticals to treat inflammatory diseases.  It is an ancient tree ... well ... here:

Ginkgo Biloba is originally from Asia, derived from the maidenhair tree. This species of tree is known as the 'living fossil tree' as it has no living relatives, and originated from the prehistoric age. 

Seven million years ago the Ginkgo tree had disappeared off fossil records, and it was thought that it had become extinct. A German scientist called Engelbert Kaempfer re-discovered the tree in 1691 in Japan, where it was studied for its healing properties. 


I like it for it's beauty ... the leaves are unique and move so gracefully on the tree.


This pot really was a mess when I picked it up last week.  I had handled it incorrectly ... it was misshapen, cloddish.  Pressing the leaves in to the wet clay was intended as an experiment only.  Our teacher keeps a big bucket handy and encourages us to use as much clay as we will while we are learning technique.  I throw my pots and save them for critique ... as long as they have not been fire, they can be recycled and the material is as new ... ready for a chance at something useful and possibly beautiful.  It will be interesting to see how this one comes along.

Gluttony

These are weeds ...
H says the only way to really get rid of weeds is to fortify the turf ...
The "good" stuff will scoot the "bad" stuff out
poison just poisons everything...

LUST

VANITY/SLOTH

GLUTTONY 

ENVY

GREED

PRIDE

WRATH

Gluttony - n.

excess in eating or drinking

greedy or excessive indulgence

... a serious failure in self-discipline

I grew up hearing it used like this:  "He is a glutton for punishment."  Maybe in reference to Cassius Clay (back before...)... or Barry Goldwater.  Daddy was a fan of both.  Gluttony seemed to be an admirable quality, comparable to tenacious.

My husband says Gluttony is the only sin with a sponsorship in our religion.  We "fellowship", which really means we get together and eat.  Hmmm, the Baptist (okay not all Baptists, probably only my baptists ... okay, probably only me) fellowship table ... I think I can see all seven of these sins represented there ... that is amusing and I am a bad person for observing that ... I know. That entire story may be told in the UNBELIEVABLE delicious Italian Creme Cake served on a gleaming silver cake throne ... footed ... (I have the recipe ... lol)

I am going to see Gluttony as what?  Excessive consumption ... but not so much as "of food".  I think it is in The Screw Tape Letters that CS Lewis helps me see "an exquisite thinness" as gluttony all dressed up and set to prance.  I should find that ... it is illuminating to understand gluttony as something consumed beyond ... moderation for lack of a more exact descriptor.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. ~Peter De Vries (The New Yorker ... not the quote, the guy)

The flesh endures the storms of the present alone; the mind, those of the past and future as well as the present. Gluttony is a lust of the mind. ~ Thomas Hobbes

The scriptures hold many references to gluttony ... usually in the same verse admonitions against drunkenness ... and idleness.


I am thinking of it as Thomas Hobbes illuminates it.  A lust of the mind ... seeking cake and circuses  as a salve for what the soul keens for.  I think the vices appeal to our flesh and tend to circumvent what we really really long for.  As Mr. De Vries points out ... an emotional escape, but I think more accurately a sort of panacea ... or a layer of gunk between us and the soul nourishment we think we are gathering up for ourselves.  I'm thinking about the children of Israel, wandering, scared ... hungry, crying out. And then food ... all around them plenty.  They must have been over come with relief.  And ... they were told to gather only enough for present needs ... in other words, be present, but their minds ran to provisions for tomorrow.  How could they not?!  Yeah ... I know they had witnessed many miracles, but ... well, my refrigerator is pretty amazing too.  I don't worry for "food", but I do want to gather up other stuff.  Stuff for later.  Lotsa stuff for later ... . This self sufficiency must be part of it.  These layers insulate me from God's provisions ... presence ... guidance.


The little web search took a different track on this gluttony stuff.  The links I looked at were all about weight loss and ... temple of God references.  Ummm ...  I think it's pretty clear that the "ideal clothing size" is a moving target.  I think this gluttony thing is less about my earth suit and more about a nourishing diet for the soul.  Bread of Life ... communion.

Too much weather in the area to walk today ... too much Monday casually dropped about the house for me to even consider getting out ... Mondays are supposed to be house cleaning, uh ... clearing rather, days.  I've goofed off a bit ...

Sammy made me laugh early this morning when coffee grounds and watermelon rinds made their way outside to the compost bin.  It's right along side his dog food bin and any activity in that area always draws him tail wagging over.  Uh oh ... he smells bacon drippings wafting from the bowl full of organics ... poor baby.  I make it worse by sometimes pouring warm bacon drippings, yeah, fat, over his kibbles.  His big eyes are soft topaz ... accusing?  Pleading.  I poured the fat over the watermelon rinds this morning.  I don't think so boy I say.  I don't want him eating bacon fat ... but I know he loves it like I do coffee flavored ice-cream (yes even first thing in the morning the temptation calls to me).  I pick a rind from the pile thinking to let him smell it ... expecting him to sniff in disdain.  Instead he's like ... heck yeah! really?!?!  I called the girls to the window to see him.  Big white fluffy southern dog lounging in the grass with his watermelon.  Too funny.  I think he really ate too ... don't see it in the yard.

Someone very graciously suggested House ... another of Tracy Kidder's books ... and I'm on it like Sammy after that bacon infused watermelon rind!   We own an excess of books ... I am trying to be a good patron of the local library.  I hop in the jeep and drive over there, but ... they don't have a copy ... I ask them to borrow it for me from one of their library buddies ... bet they have it at the university.  Anyway ... it's in the system. I start looking at what else is available.  Came away with My Detachment (Kidder) and three books on CD. Into Thin Air (Krakauer), The Flyers (Adams), and Jarhead (Swofford, who wrote Black Hawk Down).  Books on CD ... for free ... sorta free, I paid a $13.50 fine for previous transgressions ... Anam Cara no doubt ... and ended up needing to own a copy of that to write in.  I know the kids will want that later.

Still trying to get used to my turquoise toenails ... !

Ah ... that's great ... here comes the rain.   I better get super busy ... oh ...  awesome ...  my buddy girl dinging my phone.  "D ... what are you doing?" she asks ... "Just sitting here with my feet up on the coffee table ... thinking about what I should be doing ... no ... never too busy for you."

Have finished listening to the book Mountains Beyond Mountains ... it rocked.  Now I will look for other books written by Tracy Kidder.  When someone writes well you just want to see what else they have to say.  Also on the short list ... how's it going for Dr. Paul Farmer ... an ordinary man who has chosen to focus his life towards something simple, basic ... decency.  For me that is the moral imperative that this book helps illuminate.  It is always tempting for me to think stuff like ... well, I can't go to Haiti ... got people here to tend to.  And that is true, but I am certain that an open heart can ease the way for others right here.  I have planned on being somewhere else for a while ... now I see the error of that.  When we first came here and I found out about the illiteracy rate,  I knew to volunteer there ... I will make an effort to engage more.  Don't know how or where, but being open to the idea of that will help it find me I bet.

Ummm ... I liked being read to very much.  It's kinda perfect really ... hands free to do the ironing, or book hauling ... .  I wish they were less expensive then a hardback book.  I'm going to see what books my local library has on audio.  This may be my new thing ... I am running out of interesting documentaries to listen to ... plus they almost insist I look as I listen.

Gosh I love this wind map ... ridiculously soothing.  I wish it could be the screen saver.  These are surface winds ... it's been fun to watch the system work it's way across the area.  I know the wind changes as a front passes, but ... wow to see the display from Lincoln up to Sioux Falls then NE towards Minneapolis. And ... I have never imagined how like a cowlick this looks.  Well ... nerdy cool.  I like it a lot.  It's fun for me to glance at this and imagine what I think the other graphics that I like to look at might show ... no surprises here:

Second two photos lifted from aviationweather.gov  Looks like fairly smooth sailing on either coast tonight ... Thor is busy in the heartland.

It was actually sprinkling here during our walk just a few minutes ago.  I'm doing something new with my husband during walks ...table topics ...  tonight's questions:  What do you miss most from when you were single? and What totally out of character thing would you like to see your partner do?

I answered ... Freedom to come and go as I pleased and stay up or nap as I chose ... well ... just the freedom to put something down and expect that it would be right there when I came back for it ... that sort of thing.  He laughed.  "I know exactly what you mean", he said,  "I left my papers out on the table while we walk and I'm wondering if they will be as I left them ... will someone have spilt water on them or moved them entirely... ."  He went on to say that he guesses he spends enough time away on business trips to have those kind of breaks in his life.  I said I really appreciated the opportunity to spend a couple of weeks alone in Atlanta a couple of years ago.  No one knocked on the bathroom door ... meals were entirely at my discretion ... I slept with my books on the bed ... handy for in case I woke up and wanted to read ... the best part was the TV never came on in the room.  Perfect ... bliss really!  Okay ... I didn't say all that ... just the parts before the TV.  I was flying and thinking about flying ... it was a good time for me.   His answer to the same question ... he misses the money he had when he was single.  Yep, floating a household is an expensive proposition.

Second question ... out of character thing ... I answered first again.  I said I would like to see him relax at home as he does at the coast.  I told him that was the biggest part of moving to the coast for me ... at the coast he chills out ... even though he has work with him he just relaxes better.  I said, I'd love to see you give yourself a week off and I know you'll see that the world doesn't come to an end without your supervision.  I could tell he was thinking about it ... .
His answer ... he would like to see me take more time for day trips ... he said I was double sacrificing by not doing that for myself because on one hand he knows I want to do what I do to support my family, but I need a break every once in a while,  and also that I am neglecting ways to replenish myself.  He reminded me that last summer I said I was going to start planning little day trips to Atlanta for myself ... trips to the museums ... stuff like that maybe once a month.  I haven't done any of that.  He said I really should do that for myself ... maybe I will.

Well ... where am I on with those vices?  I think I'll spend a few minutes on that.

From the NASA site ...

ISS030-E-185321 (28 March 2012) --- Moscow, Russia appears at the center of this nighttime image photographed by one of the Expedition 30 crew members aboard the International Space Station, flying at an altitude of approximately 240 miles. A solar array panel for the space station is on the left side of the frame. The view is to the north-northwest from a nadir of approximately 49.4 degrees north latitude and 42.1 degrees east longitude, about 100 miles west-northwest of Volgograd. On the horizon in the background can be seen a small sample of Aurora Borealis, airglow and daybreak.


...absolutely amazing ... wonderful.  I would love to live long enough to see this view with my own eyes.

random stuff I woke up thinking about last night ... and this morning

It's part of an idea I think.

Last night I had a dream that was all sort of pieces, not put together, and I'd like to note a few of the "chunks" ...

There were three characters ... one, a "bad guy" who was pursuing a "good guy" who was trying to protect or render aid to "an innocent" ... almost exactly like Mario Brothers ... and life, I see that now.

The "bad guy" was two separate people who moved together in synchronized evil, yet there was a tension between them, flares of conscience stirred in one or the other, as pangs of remorse at a willingness to go this far rose up to be sliced down in mutual glee ... they celebrated who they had become egging each other along they destroyed themselves and each other as they focused destruction on their primary prey ... the innocent ... and gamed with the "good guy".
The good guy was also represented by two guy moving in tandem ... they also struggled with tools to implement in their fight for the preservation of "innocence" ... they liked fighting, as warriors tend to do.  They called each other back from the edge of too far stepping closer ... I wondered were the bad guys once good guys and vice versa ... neither team seemed all good or all bad, both were pulled along stretching a bit this way then that, like a snake steadily "flowing" or rocks and hot ground in pursuit.  These guys pursued each other with an ancient push and pull.
And innocence ... also two, mostly pure (I'm still looking for the correct word here ... I know mostly pure is not pure at all ... ), yet duplicitous, thrilled and cowered vacillating between the position of victim or prize, like the stereotypical woman of the 50s or 60s ... the outcomes felt the same to me, the prize would be a victim, the victimized the prize.

"Innocence" seemed to be less a part of the drama playing out (the drama was about the events of the intra and extra- team struggles)... yet somehow at the very center of it pulling strings like a master puppeteer.  Yes, the players moved as twin marionettes held up and manipulated from one set of vertical and horizontal control bars ... good held in one hand, bad in the other with Innocence somehow the face I associated with the hands.  Yeah ... it was creepy, but awake I see how it works.

Another chunk ... Both teams were battling on a mountain ... like the pictures I've been looking at of Mt. Everest the goal was to descend rather then climb the mountain with the first team who arrived in a field of flowers at the foot of the mountain clearly having a huge advantage of time ... to deal with Innocence as they chose. The good guys came up with what I thought was an excellent plan.  There was a constructed reservoir which was designed to funnel water ... snow and ice ... from the top of the mountain ... to the bottom of the mountain.  The snow and ice were heated to liquid and gradually warmed in the descent.  The good guys planned to enter the reservoir and basically dive to the bottom. I don't dive, but I believed the good guys would move faster and faster as they went along because of the weight of water above them and because of moving more freely in warmer water.  I thought it was a good plan.  The draw back, as I saw it, was, once they entered the reservoir there would be no escape until the exit point at the bottom.  They figured out a way to keep the bad guys thinking they were on the mountain, setting up little explosive red herrings ... appearing to be engaged.  They needed a head start because if they didn't appear to be present, the bad guys would figure out the descent strategy and possibly be waiting at the bottom ... the good guys needed a head start ... and the diving gear that being a good guy effortlessly procures in dreamland.

Okay, briefly ... those vices and virtues seem to be a lot like those dream teams pulling each other into and out of shape for the task they were purposed on/for.

Just like me. I don't think I'm a glutton ... but later today I will grocery shop ... the meals planned for this week are modest by some standards, but definitely lavish by most standards. Sammy's food bin will be replenished today ... he's a Purina dry food kinda dog, but there is a bin of doggy biscuits in his view ... Sammy is grateful for his treats. The long full aisle of dog food chastises me and yet ... I don't know what to do so I do very little ... that is sloth. It's hard to grasp from my first world perch how lacking in virtue I really am. I am unaware and ignorant of my lack of awareness. Looking at the vices is ... eye-opening at least. Realization is a step in the right direction.

Falling Upward.  Haven't finished reading it, but I am thinking about the idea of a person becoming the whole of what may be offered back.  I'm thinking about the parable of the talents.  I'm thinking about how I might best offer back.  And ... it might be easier to see when someone else is asking the question about their own life.  What if one died and was revived ... sort of another chance at things.  Or ... as it sometimes happens, the person standing right next to you in life dies, but you don't ... you are fine.  What are you supposed to "do" with your "fineness"?
We sit as this table and are served ... life, some more or less abundantly ... and we take this nourishment and become ... as Momma would say, you are what you eat ... and then, we have an opportunity to serve ... or we can sit at the table a gorge ... or life shoves us away from the table ... or we never got a seat in the first place and had to contend with the crumbs ... .
This guy, Kidder, writes about Haitians wearing our old t-shirts and busted up Nike's.  I have a bag of stuff like that working in the foyer closet ... too good for rags, but just barely.  My certificates and ratings would have funded a village hospital or a school ... and I sit on the ground wondering what is next for me ... I push back from the table ... full and wipe at the crumbs.
That's not the whole deal ... feasts in some areas famine in others ... everyone knows what it is want.

Walking is a lot harder for me then flying was ... lots of time to think when walking, my brain was otherwise engaged while airborne, everything outside my bubble was a blur ... .

I love dreams ... so many possibilities in lala land.

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow! 

And, in parting from you now, 

Thus much let me avow

You are not wrong, who deem 

That my days have been a dream; 

Yet if hope has flown away 

In a night, or in a day, 

In a vision, or in none, 

Is it therefore the less gone? 

All that we see or seem 

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand

How few! yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep - while I weep!

O God! can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream

walking home today

Last night was pottery class ... the pottery wheel wants me to move my hands slower then anything else my hands find to do ... pot throwing is sorta like a lazy eight, 'kept there is mud involved ... my hands are not used to mirroring each other in their movement ... everything else I can think of that I do or have done, asks my hands to work together, but one doing things over here and the other doing things over there.  My mind understands the process, my hands are finding their way ... one day I was alone in the studio and I worked with my music playing loud ... as loud as I like it, and my eyes were shut.  It wasn't a concentration thing, rather a feeling thing.  I like clay very much.  Pottery teacher said clay work expresses earth, water, wind and fire.  There is something quite elemental about it.  Today I plucked a bunch of ginkgo leaves from a tree.  A wonderful tree. The ginkgo tree, Ginkgo biloba, is a living fossil—the oldest tree species known to man—dating back 150 million years  (link to UC Santa Barbara geography dept. for the download on the ginkgo tree)  Some leaves were growing from the truck so I groomed the tree and thought to enjoy the little bunch of leaves like cut flowers.  I arrived in the studio and got my area all set up and then I went to my cubby to see how my pots are coming along in the drying process.  A first pot was wrapped in a plastic grocers bag.  I didn't know you're supposed to leave your pots on the bat for a drying time (to leathery).  That one little pot is looking pretty rough for being handled ... I was thinking about tossing it in to the recycling bucket ... then I thought to press the leaves in to the surface and build up some of the leaf patterns around the rim.  I burnished the shapes in very carefully.  I think it is going to look just right.  I am excited about the pot now ... the teacher who was in working on some of her own stuff said I had redeemed that little messy pot.  I'll take a picture of it sometime soon ... before it is fired.  It's my first pot.

Love love loving the book Mountains Beyond Mountains.  I play it from my laptop ... a little aggravating that I've been unable to load it on my phone, but ... still really fun to be read to.  I haven't been read to since I was a very young child.  I like audio books I think.
 

Now it's the end of the day ... I got all my steps in plus a few extras ... the house is quiet and we are all settled in for the night, just sitting around.  I'm going to make my menu for next week and then the grocery shopping list.

Almost all the books are re set on the shelves ... pictures re hung ... everyone is happy with the new color.  Next up ... paint the master bedroom or the living room, I haven't decided yet.  Two is recommending a true and sorta dark grey for the walls and I am really thinking about it.  We get morning light in there ... hmmm ... she says it will be very chic ... she knows what words will persuade ... and if it's not great, I can easily repaint.  

Vanity/Sloth

LUST

VANITY/SLOTH

GLUTTONY 

ENVY

GREED

PRIDE

WRATH

from National Geographic site
Mount Everest with sun shining on top
sort of amazing image ... not enough" fire" to melt the ice

Sloth is usually listed alone.  But as I try to work with this I want to leave them together ... vanity may help set the place for sloth ... Idk.  For now, as they were when I first started looking for the list.

"Sloth, not ill-will, makes me unjust." ~Mason Cooley

"We excuse our sloth under the pretext of difficulty." ~ Quintilian

"Stupidity talks, vanity acts." ~Victor Hugo

"The knowledge of yourself will preserve you from vanity." ~ Miguel de Cervantes (lol)

Sloth:

n.  Aversion to work or exertion; laziness; indolence.

Sloth is defined as spiritual or emotional apathy, physically and/or emotionally inactive. 
Acedia is a Latin word, from Greek ἀκηδεία, meaning "Carelessness".

Sloth can also indicate a wasting due to lack of use, concerning a person, place, thing, skill, or intangible ideal that would require maintenance, refinement, or support to continue to exist.

I don't know, and I don't care ... sloth.

Vanity: 

n.  Lack of usefulness, worth, or effect; worthlessness. a. Something that is vain, futile, or worthless.

is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others.

Prior to the 14th century it did not have such narcissistic undertones, and merely meant futility.

self-idolatry ... pride

"Vanity well fed is benevolent. Vanity hungry is spiteful." ~ Mason Cooley

List of "ugly" stuff ... Seven deadly vices ... particularly, LUST

LUST

VANITY/SLOTH

GLUTTONY 

ENVY

GREED

PRIDE

WRATH

"The Bible and several other self help or enlightenment books cite the Seven Deadly Sins. They are: pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath, sloth, and gluttony. That pretty much covers everything that we do, that is sinful... or fun for that matter." ~ Dave Mustaine

“Greed, envy, sloth, pride and gluttony: these are not vices anymore. No, these are marketing tools. Lust is our way of life. Envy is just a nudge towards another sale. Even in our relationships we consume each other, each of us looking for what we can get out of the other. Our appetites are often satisfied at the expense of those around us. In a dog-eat-dog world we lose part of our humanity.”  ~Jon Foreman

I'm looking at this list of "bad" stuff and also at these words individually.  The list seems to have evolved from several different areas ... religions, philosophies ... art sciences, by that I mean stuff like psychology  ... stuff like that, cultural influences.

It seems to me that these words represent interlocking ideas ... like lust and greed may be similar or may be the same, both want excessively ... how is greed different from gluttony ... and aren't both envy played out?  Words again ... like the list I looked at of desirable traits ... fruits  of the spirit.   I guess at the beginning of looking at these ugly words, I'm thinking of them as the worms in those apples.


I haven't seen these words "listed" together in the Bible.  I'm still reading references about how this particular list of words came to be ... . Four cardinal virtues plus the three spiritual virtues yielded the seven most commonly listed together.  These seven vices ... idk yet ... and I'm finding that some of these words weren't even used till maybe the 1600s.  Well ... we will see what turns up.

LUST

VANITY/SLOTH

GLUTTONY 

ENVY

GREED

PRIDE

WRATH

Quick search on the iPad Bible (KJV) renders 18 results for LUST straight forward as a noun ... not lusty or lusted or ... 


I'm going to go with this one in James, because I particularly respect James as a person.


But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. ~ James 1:14 and 15

(Just had to "put" these here ... this morning is so great ... I have my coffee, cold now, but still so good, and that bird is right outside my open window, I turn my head to the right and see her sitting there so composed, so patient ... so sweet ... and a breeze is blowing, ruffling the crepe myrtle I planted from a five gallon start, it's over fifteen feet tall now and providing shade for this delicate pink begonia ... also in view from where I sit.  The very air here on the ground is dappled in happy ... . I'm sitting here with the click and hum of the clothes tumbling in the dryer ... and floating away from the vine, rose petals and scent.  I am still.  I'm learning how to be still and ... I feel a little guilty about it ... don't know why ... still, like that little bird is deceptively difficult.  I'm so glad the birds nest there ... they are good company.


Alrighty ... back to thinking.)  So, I think that is saying that lust leads to sinning and sin's usual resultant, decay and death.


What does the ole dictionary have to say about lust?

n. 1. Intense or unrestrained sexual craving. 2. a. An overwhelming desire or craving: a lust for power b. Intense eagerness or enthusiasm: a lust for life 3. Obsolete Pleasure; relish. intr.v. lust·ed, lust·ing, lusts To have an intense or obsessive desire, especially one that is sexual.

so ... mostly now understood in the context of libido ... James, in my opinion, was using the word in a broader context, but the verse certainly works within  purely sexual (if there is such a thing) examples.  I hear the word lust being used to steer thinking on extramarital affairs ... adultery.  I think also of where pornography, which seems to inspire and nourish lusts, has taken marital relationships ... probably very similarly erosive as an extramarital affair would be. The secret life of porn consumption. 
The other day some one sent the video of those two kids singing on Britain's Got Talent ... especially he is so spectacular a singer ... friend sent it with some link from "The 700 Club"  ... I never look at 700 Club stuff, the main guy kinda creeps me out for some unknown reason ... anyway, there were little click on boxes for a video interview with a woman who has escaped from years of bondage in the world of human trafficking.  I had no idea.  Just a tiny bit of web searched yielded info on that sickening trend.  I didn't know ... somewhere a list of random facts about human trafficking said that more people are slaves now then at any other time in history ... and that this is driven by the sex for sale industry.
http://www.doctorsatwar.org/human-trafficking-facts.php 
http://www.ncadv.org/files/HumanTrafficking.pdf


lust ... sexual craving ... long ways from Adam and Eve innocently frolicking in the garden ... 
Here's a fairly descriptive definition of lust ... In many religious doctrines lust is loosely defined with the result that it is often equated and confused with the physical expression of love in the sexual act.  Barry Long states that lusting is only the thinking about sex, and this thinking about the natural sexual energy gives rise to a separate powerful emotional condition known as lust. This emotional condition is the problem in love. ~MAKING LOVE Sexual Love the Divine Way' Barry Long 
In short ... lust is fantasizing.  I think enthusiasm, eagerness for "physical expressions of love" is a good thing ... like a gift.  Lust somehow messes up that gift.  Lust is an interior, psychological action. I think of it as like poison ivy ... accidentally stepped in maybe ... scratched, it spreads and it feels so necessary to scratch it ... and it just gets worse and worse ... it disables rather then builds ... it leads to death as James observes for us ... it makes good stuff die.  Lust somehow distorts loving acts ... that's what I think I'm trying to understand.  
Same thing on power lust ... it doesn't build strong leaders ... every strong leader I have experience with seemed to lead not because they particularly needed to lead, rather because they acted as one you chose to follow ... not a "concharge"(concharge = control + in charge) ... more like a good Shepard sort of thing, or that guy who helped the horse at Cowboy Church.  


Lust weakens love ... that's a preliminary conclusion.  I'll have to think about this some more.   When I first thought to look at the seven vices specifically, I was thinking about our tendency towards this stuff in general and more specifically, I wonder it these traits might be seen as the self-defeating end of a character continuum with something strong and edifying on the other end.  Like this ... lust on one end love on the other and the person of residence for this character line, making choice which encourage the development of this trait with towards the weakening end or the strengthening end.  Like this ... a leader may act as a tyrant/bully because their grasp on power allows it, or a leadership may be acted out as people choose to follow.  I am trying to find the words to think about this stuff and clarify the idea.  Lust, defined as enthusiasm and eagerness, surely isn't inherently "wrong" ... surely there must be a choice made in channeling or harnessing these qualities that we label as the vice of lust. ... hmmm, like this: Am I super focused or am I super stubborn?  Aren't they the same trait but one to work on building, the other dismantling?  That's what I'm trying to see if I can see it here among these obviously undesirable qualities.  If they are seeded in each of us, what determines what grows?  Also,  I want to see if the damage done by one ... say lust ... might necessarily be undone only by its' twin ... love.  Those trafficked slaves are damaged by lust ... their lives are eaten by lust's desire to itch scratch and spread ... the damage is real and to undo it ... how?  Is the antidote related to the curse? The horse was damaged by the rod of power ineptly employed and yet swung its head and heart around to a man strong enough to lead.  That's where this rabbit hunting is coming from. 


"Love begins with an image; lust with a sensation." ~ Mason Cooley


"Love grows. Lust wastes by enjoyment, and the reason is, that one springs from a Union of Souls, and the other from a Union of Sense." ~ William Penn


Well ... that's it for today ... vanity and sloth up next.  Sloth is a small animal right?

notes from last summer ... saw when looking for something else ... maybe a part of what I'm trying to think about

Notes from change my attitude

Contentment = JOY
Covetousness erodes joy

Godliness (piety/spirituality) plus contentment is great gain (context = accomplishment)

Life is a vapor (James 4:14) look to eternity, develop an eternal perspective
Let enough be enough ... Greener grass myth ... Ouch field


Am I a contented person?
Am I seeing fruits of contentment?
Am I choosing contentment over covetousness?

Why do I want to squeeze everything out of this little life when eternity offers a big life?

Just really quick ... notes to keep in mind.  The other day I made notes on those seven "vices" and I am certain that seeds of each must be present in our lives.  Now I have lived long enough to surprise myself by being very tempted to do things which a younger me would have known, absolutely beyond a doubt, that I would never ever ever consider ... guess what?  One's very humanness may come as a huge surprise.  So ... let's say, for thinking purposes, that someone is ... okay here, this will work ... that horse.  That horse was messed up and I don't know exactly how it happened so I'm really not talking about facts, only a vehicle for an idea ... Seemed like to me the horse was messed up by a controlling owner who mishandled the horse.  Why and or how ... who knows?  The outcome was a horse who couldn't take instruction ... hmmm ... a horse who could not enjoy being an awesome horse.  He had to keep his eye on the owner who seemed to not know how to do some important horse stuff right.  I'm saying it poorly.  I'm not trying to dis the owner ... just saying there seemed to be a control problem ... and it was tended to by someone who knew how to express control or mastery in an appropriate way ... same thing that "cracked" the horse sealed the crack.

I know what I mean good enough to remember it.

L has two big freakin' deals which he has asked me to accompany him to tonight.  I don't look like I should even answer the door ... gonna take some serious girl magic to redirect from here!  I don't even know what I am going to wear yet!  So ... gotta get going ... .


back to this ... (my hair and toenails are drying ... I have to be ready in two hours ... plus I have dinner to prepare ... hmmm ... no time really ... )

This is the craziest nail color my toes have ever worn ... maybe I like it ... idk ... definitely out of my cz ... matches the detail on my tennies ... so not my usual though ... it makes me laugh and cringe at the same time!

Lust

Vanity and Sloth

Gluttony

Envy

Greed

Pride

Wrath

Last night I drank two martinis ... okay, and a sip from my husband's glass too ... had to make certain it was properly shaken. Vodka,vermouth ... lots of olive brine.  There is something about martinis ... one practically demands a second.  After dinner we went for a walk.  I want my husband to walk everyday, but he doesn't ... Sammy went along too. All in all I made 17,211 steps yesterday ... 7,000 over. Did not sleep well at all ... and that is this note ... maybe it was the foreign libation ... I do better when I just stick to ice water!
I met a welder yesterday.  Saw ... well heard really, his torch as I walked to the pottery studio.  Decided to backtrack and see if he accepts little jobs.  I would like to have a coffee table, similar to those I admire from Restoration hardware, welded up ... I have boards which came from my own backyard.  Had a plan for them, now I'm thinking coffee table.  Something like this ...  Building the frame would be very easy for a welder.

My buddy girl from home is all about me writing a book. I'm thinking about it ... was thinking about it before she got me to thinking about it in a more focused sort of way.  She is a best friend ... man, what a treasure friends are.  We "go about life" very differently I think.  She is less reserved as is H also.  I say I'm thinking about it and she says ... just start doing it, it will write itself.  Hmmm.  Maybe.  I tell her that I don't like the idea of telling a story, because it exposes parts of the writer that I do not want to share.  She says I will be able to tell my stories without hurting my heart ... she says I can do it.  Maybe.  I walk way over there and center a lump of clay on the wheel and it does sort of become what it wants to be.  My hands guide it, my hands "fit" there, but it doesn't seem so very personal.  The teacher said potters tend to thrown the same shapes over and over again.  That makes sense to me because the body directs the mud to become.  My friend says she thinks stories are similar ... directed, but not necessarily so very personal.  Well ... as I walk, I think about the story and the characters who might help tell the story.  And I think about the people who I have particularly liked having help me form my story.  Isn't it neat that some of them are people one may actually know ... know somewhat, even my intimates know only what I have shown them about myself ... and some of it, I am still learning.  I like that we can chose who we let help shape us ... who and what ... some are by choice, some by circumstance ... well ... walking time.  

I purchased Mountains Beyond Mountains on audio ... iTunes ... but it doesn't just load with the sync.  I'm going to have to make time to figure all that out.  For now though, I will just walk ... and let my mind wander.

pieces of sky ... 

probably slipped down just pre dawn ... for me to find on my long walk




God and Nature first made us what we are, and then out of our own created genius we make ourselves what we want to be. Follow always that great law. Let the sky and God be our limit and Eternity our measurement.
~ Marcus Garvey


It's wonderful to climb the liquid mountains of the sky. Behind me and before me is God and I have no fears.
~ Helen Keller