...
The winds of change and circumstance
Blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that's familiar
And bless the moments that we feel you nearer
~Lyrics Woven and Spun "I AM" ~Nichole Nordeman

When I first heard this song I liked it. I thought she did a sweet job of tracking a person's life and spiritual development from child to grave ... Later this stanza became meaningful.
Women have similar journeys - generational similarities I should say. I notice as I get reacquainted with old (really old) classmates that our lives are notably alike. We all came out of the same shoot and for the most part ran our race down the same track with minor diversions here, here, and there.
We all experience the winds of change and circumstance that blow in ... and all around us. Some people are more adapt at paying attention to the wind. That's because they believe there is a penalty for inattention. Likely one that they have paid. Hmmm. But living comes with weather, doesn't it?

I used to teach art for a friend to the pre-schoolers in her program. I liked the kids. I loved seeing them with their first time experiences ... many had never ever held scissors (blunt tip of course) ... as rare, where those who had ever painted with a a brush ... or been allowed to glue or staple or tear. It was both heartbreaking and joyful to sit with them and create. Sometimes their mommies would chide me (uhh ooh) for allowing their show dog ... ummm child ... to get a dab of this or that on their little smocked play wear. They reminded me of my momma. I would say - I am here on Wednesday's ... life will be messy on those days, dress them with that expectation or keep them home. The women here are stunned when people they believe are serving them make eye contact and statements like that. Art day became wildly successful. I would sit on a tiny chair beside a child and watch the wonder infuse their being as they became creators. It was magical. Their mommas loved their work, they loved that their mommas loved their work, and I loved the joy and wonder, but I felt like their mommas were missing something very precious. I felt like their mommas missed the sights I saw from that tiny chair and I would encourage them to risk a spill or two at their breakfast table. The children made some truly amazing things. I had forgotten those moments.
And I have forgotten why I wrote about that. Oh - I see it - "life is messy - dress for it" and also the notion of inattention, sometimes we gain something by paying attention, and sometimes we keep from paying something because of we are paying attention. Sometimes we get dinged but I think more often we miss the wonder and the joy. I take pictures - I like to put the camera where a child's eyes would be before I click because I think children look at things more closely. They routinely see things we miss.

Those lyrics are strumming through me this morning. And so we find a foothold that's familiar. And I am thinking about what is familiar to me when the chaos swirls around me. As I said yesterday - I used to pull out my stuff and begin to de-construct, - a nice way of saying break stuff - (not literally and yes literally ... I would not break a mug (yes I have - a long time ago ... and an iron), but I would bend a feeling - break a heart - or at least poke at one). I would protect myself. I am a survivor. Along the way I have picked up a few people who I tend to place before me. But when the chaos swirls sometimes I react, and that's not always lovingly.
I didn't realize that I was hurting God with that kind of s e l f ish behavior. I've been learning that just this past year. I've been learning to trust him to protect me during fretful times. I've been learning to rest in the cleft of the rock. I can hear the orchestra playing Mendelssohn's Elijah...Basses - And yet the Lord was not in the earthquake ...sopranos - and onward came the storm ... and later ... solo - and in a still voice onward came the Lord. Now that's music that speaks to your soul! (Next up on the iPod ... and when bought The Messiah and began listenning to it I realized that I was mistaken - Elijah is the ticket. It's loading now. I haven't regularly listenned to this great music in years, but now that it's in my ear again, I can't believe I let it go!) I've been learning to be quiet and wait for that still, small voice. I've been learning to make that the foothold that's familiar.

The picture I chose for today - a tie down ring at Ft. Morgan. It's been there a while. It's anchored in the walls of a fortress. It's exposed to the elements, and I like that it served it's purpose. I like that it stayed where it was supposed to stay when the winds of war (and the coastal breezes) blew.

I've been learning to bless the moments that I feel Him nearer. I've been learning.