The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Saturday, May 14, 2016

My phone camera "sees" through fog better than my eyes do but refused to notice the hundreds of fireflies about tonight.  Sammy came over, sat on my bare foot, and leaned his body against my leg.  I rubbed his ears wondering if he could see them. And if he could, because surely he can, what does he think of them.  Probably nothing.  They make me smile.  I've never seen so many of them at once.  They are down by the water and up in the trees.  They are all about like stars.

We, my brothers and I, used to catch 'em.  We'd fill up empty jelly jars with a few twigs. a hand full of grass, and as many fireflies, lightning bugs, as we could catch.  My daddy told us to be very careful with them, careful not to rub their magic off.  We weren't allowed to keep them for long.  The jars were always opened by time we went inside for the night.

my laptop is acting weird tonight
I have this bird nest picture on my desktop waiting for when I can get to saving it here ... all four eggs hatched.  The picture of my brother, with his sweet little granddaughter, just popped up from idk where.  I was trying to get the bird nest picture which should have been very simple to do. Well.  It's nice to see him.  Today my husband and I were remembering the day at the hospital when Tommy decided he wanted to see the imaging for the cancer in his body. There was discussion about doing a second colostomy which he declined.  He really hated the idea of that.   

I was over at our house for the first half of this month.  Enjoyed seeing the rose vine in full bloom and the doings in this nest. 

Today was a great day.  I really enjoyed the day even with all the rain and flash flood alerts pinging in on my usually quiet phone.  Seems like we all mostly just text now.  A phone conversation is rare for me.  Anyway, I sat down tonight to write a few notes, looked at the few blogs I tend to visit and read a comment which caused me to remember, for the second time today, how hard it can be for the people who remain alive when someone dies too soon.  I'm saying it poorly.  My brother felt that he could "fight cancer" more effectively if he didn't have all the information which could have been available to him.  Dying sorta took him by surprise.  He expected to live longer.  I can't say how he handled it made it harder for me.  It would have been hard to see him seeing my grief.  I was willing to let him handle it as he saw fit.  That still seems right to me.  I wish he had known he had cancer before it was stage four.  I wish he had known soon enough to do something more about it.

The mail at the other house had a card reminding me that it's time for me to get my annual screenings done again.  A year goes by so fast.  Next week I really have to figure out who my doctors over here will be.  I have to make the appointments.  I think for the sake of the people who love me I have to do it.  It's easy to neglect it because I feel great and it seems like if something sickly was setting in I'd know it. 

Today we wandered around the Renegade Craft Fair.  Later I made sushi and started figuring out the right proportions for the alcohol in the cocktail I'll make to share at the "girl's weekend" coming up pretty soon.  It's equal parts vodka, kahlua, and godiva white chocolate mixed in the bullet blender with a bunch of ice (like ice-cream density ice mixture) and then the very generous splash of half and half on top once it's in the serving glass.  I am definitely a one drink per week type of girl so I have to get going on this now.  The liquor part of these will be pre-measured in to mason jars for transporting and serving.  I'm also going to bake a coffeecake type thing that I haven't made in a couple of years.  And I'm thinking about a few savory dips.  I don't eat sugar very often.  That drink is crazy high calorie!  I dare not taste the Nutella bread/cake recipe ... .  I was very happy to see that I've lost 2.5 pounds since I last weighed.  I'm pretty close to where I was.   

I enjoyed the time alone (mostly, One spent some time with me and after he left I slept over at Four's apartment).  I like having quiet time.  It's nice to be back home too. 


GretchenJoanna said...

I love seeing the baby birds in their nest! I just took a mirror out to the birdhouse where the chickadees were nesting and no one, no eggs, nothing is there :-( Don't know the meaning of that...

I also appreciate you writing about death and your brother and cancer... but I just returned from a road trip and realize that I am extra tired, and that may be the reason I have nothing in me to comment with on that subject. :-(

Your cocktail recipe sounds really good! Lately I've been a communion-wine-only drinker because of some health issues, but your recipe makes me want to try and see if I might be able to do one-per-week, too -- or at least per-month...?

Love to you, DeAnn.

DeAnn said...

Always nice to have your thoughts GJ! The frowned face makes me smile!
That cocktail is "the bomb". It's good with just ice, but blitzed in the bullet with ice makes it extra special. The rimmimg concoction is very fine sugar mixed with cocoa. I think whipping the cream might be pretty special but I always have half and half on hand and would have to plan ahead for whipped cream!
I do love to watch a nest all the way through the process. That one is on our front porch back in Alabama so just those few days worth this year but - a delight!

Thank you for your sweetness! Love to you as well GJ~