I think all the pollen has gotten to me. I feel very tired and even sad. Last night I had a nightmare. It was very different from any dream I remember having in that my body felt totally detached from my soul. I felt " me but/and we". My body felt like a wrapper. My soul seemed to sit up out of my body listening wary horrified but unafraid, as evil came by and snatched something irrevocable beyond...away...a scream carrying back like a cord of smoke. The dream felt like despair. It felt as though something precious was casually violated and nothing could return it to the time before. It was beyond anguish. My soul understood but I am unable to capture it with words. When I woke from the dream my hands and feet were very cold. My body hurt all over. The fight or flight endorphins had been scrambled. My body still hurts from the tension from that dream.
I have decided to put myself to bed early tonight. And I am thinking about a shot of NyQuil... I don't fly tomorrow, but I almost never take any meds other than the occasional Tylenol. I'm afraid the NyQuil may give me bad dreams...

Note added in June: I remember this dream. One valuable part of it is in remembering that this life in this body in this reality is fleeting. My soul is housed in a very cool earthsuit. I get to make choices that shape who I am becoming. I have been sad, but that is a little self indulgent. I'm not going to stay there. I have a great life. Today I saw women on the border between Pakistan and Russia who were probably my age and younger...they are in a desperate place. They are trying to find answers for the despair in the eyes of their children. None of them were worried about anything a silly as flight instructing.