Finishing

I have accepted that I am tired. I'm going to bed and to sleep earlier. Last night I woke up less often than what has become usual. Today, I'm going to drink my delicious hot coffee and then I'm going to go outside and walk around in my yard...do a little weeding. I'll go out to the airport at 11:00 to take care of some paperwork for tonight's meeting - beginning the summer semester.

All my CFI candidate buddies are gone. That has freaked me out just a tad - now I have the departure brief on each one of them and things make more sense. I've thought about myself as a young woman running track. I ran long distance and because of my height I also jumped for the team. I didn't take to hurdles. I didn't like setting a pace that accommodated leaping over fences. I didn't like how the hurdles appeared to get higher as I approached them. It was sickenning to imagine myself face first into the gravel...bloody and tangled up...broken. That's how this process towards the big check ride had started to feel. And when my fellow runners disappeared I started gnawing on what they knew that I hadn't figured out.

So I am re-booting. I'm gonna rest a bit and I'm gonna come out for this last lap.