Ecclesiastes12:13 Fear...

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.

Definition: 1) to fear, revere, be afraid
1a) (Qal)
1a1) to fear, be afraid
1a2) to stand in awe of, be awed
1a3) to fear, reverence, honour, respect
1b) (Niphal)
1b1) to be fearful, be dreadful, be feared
1b2) to cause astonishment and awe, be held in awe
1b3) to inspire reverence or godly fear or awe
1c) (Piel) to make afraid, terrify
2) (TWOT) to shoot, pour
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a primitive root; to fear; morally, to revere; caus. to
frighten:-affright, be (make) afraid, dread(-ful), (put in)
fear(-ful, -fully, -ing), (be had in) reverence(-end), X see,
terrible (act, -ness, thing).

~ www.net.bible.org


We learn wisdom from failure
much more than from success.
We often discover what will do
by finding out what will not do.
And probably he who never made a mistake
never made a discovery.
~ Samuel Smiles ~

I am thinking about this idea tonight. I am thinking about my own life. I like to accomplish goals - I like to feel successful. Even when all I am doing is cleaning house I like to make a general list of what I want to accomplish and I like to set a realistic time expectation up for how long each task group will take to finish and then I like to try to beat the time...while doing the best possible job of it. Some of the readers of this have no idea how tedious it is to do homemaking ... . I have spent a lot of time alone...well kinda alone...I have five children ranging in age from 24 to 9... . I've spent a lot of time being present with my children and I hope to have a lot more time with each of them. But there is an alonness that we all experience I think. In that silence I like to challenge myself. I have learned over the years to say "uh uh" to the stuff that I can't or won't commit to. I'm not saying that I won't do things that I'm not good at - because I am willing to work at things. I like working towards things that are worth an effort. There are some things in my life that I have put my whole self towards ... and I have come away feeling bad - unable - "Short". There are things that I have had to say - I can not do that...and part of I can not do that feels like failure. That is a sad feeling for me. Recently I came to the realization - I believe - that each of us will stand before God and give an account of ourselves...hmmm...by that I mean we don't get to hide behind excuses or rationalizations...we are unwrapped from our ego/pride.. I'm pretty sure I won't get to say, my husband insisted on this or that, or I chose that behavior because of what someone "did" to me, or I wasn't really quite myself that day...
Our true self worth can only come from fulfilling our role. The role that Solomon describes: honor, respect God, and do what He wants.
That is a pretty simple idea. I like it. Straight forward - clean.
Recently I have discovered that respect is a word not easily defined or understood. I can think of people who I have respect for...I can think of facets of lives that I have respect for...I actually try to be respectful towards almost everyone (yeah...I remember the mom who was parked in my lane the other day ...when I wasn't really quite myself...yeah, I'm working on that me). I have been disrespectful too. I have wished to take back ... to unhammer the nails from the fence I have also been on the other side of that fence ... the side where I was hurt by some one elses disrespect. I have had opportunities to discover what won't do and what will do from either side.
I am surprised at how difficult it is to just show up and stand where God tells me to - and keep my mouth shut and my idea about it all to myself...to be respectful that He knows what He's doing. I mean - I know He does, but .... Or sometimes I think God is asking me to do something that I really just don't want to do. I don't like what it costs me... . I bet I would gladly pay if I could see what He was doing ... if I could trust what He is doing may be more like it! I am so grateful that God is patient in His working of my clay...I am pretty lumpy. "I'm with lumpy..." ha I have thought of the scars that tattoo our souls - now I am thinking of the t shirt that my soul doesn't want to wear.

Re-examine all you have been told.
Dismiss what insults your Soul.
~ Walt Whitman