The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Round Top pictures and random thoughts

Things I saw at Round Top

Several people have asked what I bought at Round Top - Nothing, not even a cup of coffee.

Moving has taught me that I have absolutely more than enough of too much.

I'm always interested in a COMPASS and It's interesting to hear the story/stories that collectors of compasses like to share when one can linger.  He was into nautical "stuff".
The skeleton (?) was on a booth full of what I think of as weird Austin artness, while I was there snapping the pic I felt a bit of strangeness.
Next is a close up of something I've never seen before but of which there were several examples all over the Big Red Barn - an embroidered (blanket stitch) felt circles hand sewn together to make a table runner.  I thought it might be fun to recreate something like that.
The piano was fabulous - original paint - I love the color, the whimsy - 1920(?) for 10K
The chandeliers did not photograph well.  There are bronze deer heads (with antlers)  above each of the smaller light drops.  Seemed kinda perfect for a very tidy barn.
I have a chair waiting of be reupholstered in burlap as these are - needed the attachment detail.  There is no cording.  My chair, a wing back, is current upholstered in a white fabric.  It would be in perfect condition if it hadn't spent the past 11 years out in the garage (because some little miss enhanced all of the buttons with a red sharpie).  It's been in the garage with a sheet over it just waiting for what comes next.  Maybe burlap.  Maybe linen and burlap.  I'm thinking about it.  I have been ... . 
The lady said those hanging dresses are French gowns.  I think they look interesting - ghostly, in the nicest possible way.

Lately I have been thinking about the sense of free fall.  Remember that Red Bull free fall?

This guy, Skydiver Felix Baumgartner 

I don't think what I am describing as free fall feels anything like what that might feel like.  I really think that would feel a bit like flying (and prepping to land) to me.  I know it's not a controlled fall, but at some point it's a basic skydive type event. He has a gravity induced arrival to somewhere that feels quite routine for him.  Just saying ... he prepared for that.  What ever it is appropriately "called" doesn't feel like this.  (Pretty freaking amazing isn't it?  I would have closed my eyes and gone to my "happy place" during most of this descent. ... and nothing to drink before hand!) Impressive stunt.

Tonight I watched a Ted Talk by a French free diver, make that:

He talks about free diving in a way which is more helpful for me as I sort this out.
What I dealing with is how to I want to best deal with stuff feeling not normal - not organized, out of control.  

Probably Mr. Baumgartner  approached his event with a certain mindfulness.  Mr. Néry eloquently describes his dives as an exercise in mindfulness among other things.  

The way he was able to share his experience can be a helpful tutorial for me.  I liked that he equated the Blue Dot photo, how the earths suspended in space to how he "feels" suspended in the depths.  He talked about the air leaving his lungs, the compression, and about how as he became less buoyant, how the depth pulled him more surely down.  Then he talked about the ascent back to the surface.  He talked about relaxing and going with it.

I'm not falling ... free fall is an exaggeration.  I'm more like diving ... I'm more like exploring a different "time" in life.  I am surprised that I like my little "ruts".  It's funny really.  I thought of myself as up for adventure.

I'm shifting towards a more curious approach to this time.  I feel optimistic about that.  Everything is different - not everything, but a lot of stuff is.  I am figuring out how to enjoy that.


gretchenjoanna said...

The way I see it, the "ruts" are necessary - parts of our lives that we don't change, because we need to have some of those, when such a huge change happens to us as the death of someone who is like a part of us. Who IS/WAS a part of us.

Most of life is new and different, so I if I can keep something unimportant the same - like this week, repairing my computer instead of getting a new one, for which I would need to make big decisions -- it frees up all that energy it takes just to deal with the things that constitute a whole new world.

You also have moved across the country, which is like being on a whole new road, with no ruts allowed. If you can find a few of those little trails I will think of as deer paths instead of ruts, I think that is a great accomplishment!

DeAnn said...

Always providing supportive insights and encouragement - GJ, I appreciate your generousity! I see deer paths everyday on my walks ... Sweet reminder of these good thoughts. Thank you.