The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Tommy said the one with the wrap around window is called a five window.  I think it's a lot cuter.  He suggests, "Later model frame with better suspension, power steering - smoother ride and easier to buy parts for  ... small box, 350 chevy engine should do it." I actually prefer a standard transmission, but an automatic is fine if that works better.  Tonight on that truck guy show someone auctioned one off for 23K ... drivable but nothing else to recommend it.
I know I want air-conditioning and a decent stereo ... something fun to drive.  We have already started scouting around for one.  It's been fun to talk about it ... been kicking the idea around for several years now.  Something to shoot for ... .
also today - I had forgotten how much I like listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan - wow

Had a visit from a couple of new friends from Hospice today - Momma declined help with basically everything they can do to help - she just doesn't want the help.  It makes it more difficult for me -  I feel sad about that because it'll make things harder for her for sure.  She could have a hospice visitor almost every day of the week, and I'm pretty sure she would enjoy that, would definitely benefit.  It's pretty frustrating.  I want to feel peaceful within myself about doing the best I can for her.  There is a point where I have to accept that honoring her wishes is the best I can do.  The dementia makes that feel precarious.  Mom has always been so very unpredictable, why should these last days be any different?  Yesterday she playfully poked my tummy and laughed for no reason ... I think that is the nicest moment I have ever shared with my mom ... Tommy and I were both like what?!?!?!  He said he would not have believed it had he not seen it with his own eyes.  It just came out of the blue.
 I feel like I've done everything I can for now.  I need to go home for a week or two.

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