The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Monday, August 24, 2015

so long ...

“we travel far and fast
and as we pass through we forget
where we have been” 
~ W.S.Merwin

Waiting outside the "new" school for the afternoon pickup.  Adjusting to a new place, a place where you don't know anyone, is really hard on my kid.  I could see the day exhausted her when she got in the car.  I didn't say a word ... she likes her space and I get that.  She'll talk when she wants to I thought as I shifted into third gear.  
Basically, she hated it.
"do you want to go straight home," I asked, "or make a stop at PANERA or somewhere?"  "I want to go home" she whispered it, trying to control the emotion in her voice, "but I know you're taking me back to the rent house."
She said one of her friends from home texted during lunch . Where are you?!?  I died this summer, I'm in Hell now. was  her reply.  It's gotta get better fast ... !  Please God, we need a little comfort here.  Biggest sister had flowers delivered.  These ->

The smaller arrangement I delivered for the academic counselor at the new school as a thanks for her help.

I spent the day working in the kitchen.  The refrigerator is about a third the size of our "real"one.  The one we left behind.  Things get pretty crazy in there pretty fast. The pantry is a fraction the size we have gotten used to over the years ... I'm really pouring my efforts into making it work too.  The kitchen here is worse then any kitchen I've ever worked in.  Pretty rough.  Still I enjoy the time to cook for everyone.  I've figured out how not to burn everything on the glass cooktop, and it is easier to clean.

Today there were about 20 doves perched on the railing awaiting a turn at the feeder.  And ... I hung some tubular chimes in the carport.  They moved against each other and my ears in a most soothing manner ... .  Doves and chimes.  The high points of the day thus far.

It's been a not great day for me as well as for my daughter.  I am trying very hard to think of those lovely things, the pure and noble things ... .

Change is difficult.  Big changes are harder then might be expected.  Change is how life happens though.

Today I was thinking about letting go of the comfort of old friends, old things, old ways ... that's the day.  I wish I could carry her load too.


gretchenjoanna said...

Ugh. Three of my grandchildren started at new schools this month, too. It gives me a stomach ache just imagining it, and then, with your description of the after-school scene.... May God give her grace, and a friend.

DeAnn said...

Thank you. Grace and a friend. Precious.