Tuesday, August 4, 2015
So ... I busted it this morning, put on some mascara and went out to lunch with my favorite flying buddy-girl. We had a trip planned to Houston tomorrow to drop off someone who has an appt. at M. D. Anderson. I woke up well, grumpy and very stiff, but well. The Pax woke up with Cancer (again, just like yesterday). What (I ask myself) do I really have to complain about? It's all relative isn't it? I am trying to convince myself that I am enjoying a great adventure! My college roommate thinks I've been brainwashed! I tell her that my choices are to blame. I take full responsibility for myself. (God I was really looking forward to flying tomorrow! It's the only place where I can absolutely stay in the moment. I think about flying when I fly ... I think about what the airplane is doing and how that compares with what I want it to do. The airplane is responsive to my "wishes". Lol ... everyone says flying is about being in control. I don't think I experience it that way. I think I see it as a collaboration with a marvelous machine.) My friend told me about someone very close to her who was raped last week. Her Pastor Daddy says, we could be preparing for a funeral (two actually, her infant child slept through the assault on the mother). I say senseless things are senseless, and God is not a thirty minute sort of being ... we may never understand the sense of it. I affirm that God is good. I affirm that even in the most horrible of situations, His agenda of restoration may be advanced. I know that I do not know. I know that "things" are more complicated then we would like to believe/perceive.
My C has dropped in ... gotta get hug while the getting is good! And ... I'm working on not being so grouchy. Either way, I'm done in a few days with this. My Dad would say this is exactly the sort of thing that builds character, but not if one let's it leak out by moaning and groaning through the entire process.