She liked watching the birds ... and she had a genius for house plants (outside plants as well, she loved to garden).
I'm thinking about her today. I do like seeing the places where she and I "connect" ... and it's interesting to observe those little things that I might think of as habits ... my husband says they are a little OCD ... my sister-in-law calls them "a little Pat coming out" ... it's funny because my dad was like that too ... what I call orderly. And ... One mentioned it, how he likes the towels folded a certain way even though he is less meticulous about his shirts ... lol, I see very tidy shirt folding in his future, it starts with the towels. L asked me how I can fold his under shirts just so they fit perfectly in his drawers ... and yesterday I opened his undershirt drawer and saw two shirts that were (sorta) folded and placed there while I was away ... I resisted the urge to refold them (just barely).
What I am doing is sleeping until I am ready to get up, my husband leaves very early and because it's summer no one really needs to be out of the house on a schedule ... sleep seems to be a priority (I didn't know I was so tired). Then ... my plan is to just do what seems most normal. Quiet stuff, stay at home stuff. H is coming down tomorrow and wants me to spend the day laying around the pool. I probably will ... catch up time. I want to get to the pottery studio ... and I want to get to a yoga routine ... and walk Sammy ... and cook and clean (smile/sigh).
This morning I fixed coffee for myself (the house is so nice and quiet ... cool. still ... home, it even smells great here) and came to the table where I can sit awhile ... just relax and talk to myself here with my fingers tapping out the thoughts ...
love you, thanks for the special evening. left clothes in the washer will you please move them to dryer for me? Happy to. Really.It's not just that small thing, it's being home.
My brother is constantly on my mind. This week he is feeling stronger. That seems to be how it's going to be ... chemo week knocks him down ... recovery week he gets back up. I needed to talk with him yesterday about how torn I am about not "being there" for him. I said I think it's a vote of confidence that He can do this thing. I also think I was at the tipping point of driving my sister-in-law bonkers! Cancer launches a big bomb into people's lives. There really is no way to know how to "go about" dealing with it. We do the best we can. He said he missed the spoilin' but promises to call when they really need me (if they really need me again ... there is hope that he is past the worst part of treatment). L has made room in his schedule to take us back for a visit early August.
I wonder how many people get to spend extended quiet time with their adult siblings. It has been a real treat. It's a sucky time, but we scavenge for joy here as well.
So ... ovens ... walk ... (maybe fold my kid's clothes).