The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Thursday, March 10, 2016

nows

deer in the front yard at the rent house 

Forever is composed of nows.

How strange that nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!


~ Emily Dickinson


Today we might have found "our" lot.  Maybe.  Tomorrow we're going to the courthouse to look at stuff about it, like deed restrictions in that neighborhood.  It's an interesting lot, 1.5 acres in an established neighborhood.  I would like to build rather than buy ... second choice would be a fixer-upper.  It's been pretty difficult to find "the" place.  I wouldn't mind if this was our last house.  The last move.  I like the sound of that.  
You know what's weird?  Well, this - I know I have that book but is it still in a box or is it out on a shelf somewhere?  Is it in my special book basket?  Where is that basket anyway?
It's a similar weird with kitchen things.  
Being unsettled is ... quite unsettling.  I enjoy my ruts.





Later this month my bff, really she is all the family I have left apart from what L and I have been blessed with, is coming up for the day.  She is not well.  It's one of those things that I press down.  We've been searching for the source of her illness for years - to no avail.  Anyway ... she and her husband are coming up for a small visit.  That's a highlight.  I'm looking for fun things to fix for them.  

Still not working/flying.  I am grateful that it's starting to interest me again.  I miss how much I loved it.  I think I have to give myself another chance at it.  It was too much work to casually dismiss.  Honestly, it's the only "thing" that I have ever cared about the way I cared about aviation - flying - in general.  It surprised everyone who knows me.  Not that I flew, and made such a commitment to excellence, but the passion involved was not quite like me.  I tend to be naturally reserved.  (Except with my people.) I like to do things well, but it (excelling) hasn't required "all in" until flying did.  I think flying really grabbed me and I so hope that each of my children will have something, or even many things, that grab them thus.

I am looking forward to gliding.  Just thinking about it makes me smile.

The other thing I'm interested in right now is resin painting.  Doing research on that now.

Also spending time learning as much as I want to know about the digestive system.  I remember when I first began to learn about weather, I was like ... duh, why didn't you wonder about this stuff before?!  I love weather stuff.  Anyway ... our bodies, endlessly cool as they are, so elegantly simple (and intricately complex).  I first started learning about the digestive system with Tommy as he sought to understand where the cancer was and what it was messing up.  I need to get back in to a BODIES exhibit like the one I saw in Atlanta.  Seeing stuff, how it fits and connects, is helpful to me.  Our bodies ... rock.  

So ... reading Dickinson,  starting a new book - QUIET (Susan Cain), and that wonderful book, Systematic Theology (Grudem), which I am really enjoying.

2 comments:

vanderleun said...

Of Tribulation, these are They
Denoted by the White
The Spangled Gowns, a lesser Rank
Of Victors—designate

All these—did conquer
But the ones who overcame most times
Wear nothing commoner than Snow
No Ornament, but Palms

Surrender—is a sort unknown
On this superior soil
Defeat—an outgrown Anguish
Remembered, as the Mile

Our panting Ankle barely passed
When Night devoured the Road
But we—stood whispering in the House
And all we said—was "Saved"!

DeAnn said...

I know she's thinking of the "big T" Tribulation but the idea of an outgrown anguish remembered, as the mile our panting ankle barely passed when night devoured the road

She perfectly expresses something we have felt, all of us who survive. Saved, whispered not in relief (I feel) - simply a statement of fact.

Thank you for bringing this to mind Gerard.