The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Friday, September 18, 2015

A few of my High School friends converged here for a visit last weekend.   I enjoyed the time with them so much that it left me wondering "what's on for fun this weekend"?  It seems righter for the question mark to be outside the parenthesis on that sentence ... I wonder ... and I wish I had been paying closer attention in the days when sentence grafting and proper punctuation were being taught. I know I use ( ... ) improperly, I use it to indicate a meandering train of thought.  Anyway, it was great to see the girls.  Old friends.  My soul felt hugged.

Tomorrow L and I are going to drive over to one of the top Top 50 BBQ places in Texas.  It's rated right up there with my two (so far) favorites, Pecan Lodge (Dallas) and Mueller's (Taylor).  They say, "If you want to order by the full menu, get there by 9:30."  Dang.  That would be an early departure ...  my husband has adjusted fairly well to not getting up at the crack of dawn.  It's funny that though I could sleep in, I like to be up and at 'em even while it's still dark out.  I like seeing the light whisper in over the tree tops.  Most days wake up  smiling in the prettiest coral pink infused with shimmering gold.  Worth watching for.  And, I like my coffee.

After the seriousness of BBQ we have a trip to a aquaponic farm for a tour of their operation. Fun.  I really can't wait to learn all about that.  Even if it's not viable on the small scale that I'd like to incorporate (which remains to be learned) it's still going to be a huge trend in the food supply industry.  I've wondered what use all those empty big box type stores may best have ... greenhouse type use makes sense to me.  The dope places up in Denver were in warehouse looking spaces, I guess with lots of artificial (reliable) light.  I understand that they use hydroponics in that industry. A visit to the farm is pretty exciting.  I like seeing how things are done.  These guys, I found them online, seem have it figured out.  They also dairy farm (which I'd never want to be responsible for a cow).  If the idea looks like something we want to get going, they teach a week long class for some group out of Hawaii and provide an outlet for the equipment.  The questions right now are: is a home garden worth the expense ... and how much trouble are the fish? 

As I've set here this morning I've been texting with my niece, my brother's daughter.  I'm happy for the chance to spend time with her and her son (she may not know it, but he is the spitting image of her daddy at that age) ... I haven't seen her very much over the years.  Everyone notices that she favors me in appearance, and I'm surprised to notice that she does look more like me then any my own three daughters.  I'm happy to get to know her if it goes that way.

Not much in reference to my brother's daughter, this isn't about that, "relationships"  have been a lot on my mind lately.  I'm thinking about non professional relationships ... relationships which are  about the people who come (and sometimes go) in our lives outside of work or school.  Not that those relationships don't become more personal if interests and inclinations are supported.  I guess I'm thinking of relationships we choose, and how we choose to nurture them (or neglect them ... devalue, for whatever reason).

Lately, and probably mostly because of the big move, a lot of my relationships have shifted.  And ... it's not just relationships with other people which have modulated, there is also the change in how I spend my time.  And ... this may seem weird, but just being in a different house creates a different feel.  It's actually kinda interesting to experience a huge shift in one's life.  It does feel "not right" to not have my brother around.  He wasn't physically present, but I did speak with him several times each week.  I frequently find myself thinking oh Tommy would know or Tommy wouldn't believe ,,, I am fortunate that the loss washes gently over me ... it is similar to how I experience the loss of my dad, I know what he would say, I just really miss hearing him say it.  I don't actually miss my mother.  Our relationship was obligatory and I am glad (for her sake) that she is where "whatever comes next" is ... I think she is well there and it's delightful to imagine her that way.  Her laugh was like crystal bells and I think of her laughing often now.

As with sorting through "stuff" with the purpose of deciding ... is it useful, is it beautiful ... is it clutter ... lol ... I have the job of sorting through how I want to spend my time and with/on whom.

It's interesting to get to "create" a new "this feels right".  It's a luxury really.

Now I need to go find a new Korean Grocery store ... everything is new over here ... except for what's sorta the same (and the stuff I kept ... it's still strange to see our furniture in a different place).

I just wondered if there is a relationship between an "open heart" and an "open mind".

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