The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Friday, July 16, 2010

Now it is the end of the day and I am smiling. I thought today would be different than how it went. Early, I went to the airport to debrief yesterdays flight. What I want to remember about the debrief is this: He said I should come out to the airport, but when I got there he was in a meeting. That pissed me off but I doubt anyone could have possibly known that. I was able to wait but I was concerned about my daughter date and the things left undone at home. When he came out of the meeting I said I have to leave in 15 minutes. He talked about my stall recovery being too soft - his words. I said those weren't very dramatic stalls, what would you have liked to see done differently. He said he would have liked a positive rate sooner and I said the power was full in, the nose was on the horizon and I was waiting on 60kts indicated to finish the flap clean up...basically that's as good as it gets and he said I wanted to see the VSI climbing and I laughed and said how'd you like the cruise climb, wasn't that at about 200fpm? and he looked a bit stunned and I said that is my stall recovery, it was as good as it gets and I could tell he was a little confused by my boldness so I said, comeon buddy we both know I need some balls for this job and he said did you have to come out of your cocoon with me and I said very softly, yes, because I am safe with you and I have to learn how to do this. As I type this I realize that I should have leaned for a higher rpm before I departed...I would have definitely done that for a short field departure, but I didn't and that would have help quite a bit possibly with the climb out (ugh!). I'm working on a lot of different things here.... I'm learning stuff. I'm learning how to be me a little stronger without flipping the bitchswitch and that isn't as easy as one might think.

My FI said he got a thumbnail account of my ride yesterday ... he mentioned the landings. The landing were good. He also said that because of his responsibilities as acting chief that he wasn't sure of where I would be on the schedule next week...or really for the next couple, maybe three weeks. I asked him if it would be appropriate for me to not fly for the next few weeks while things are so up in the air with his schedule. He said because we are between planes that that would work out well ... that I can hit the books and put the flights in the arrow tighter and that'd probably work better. I think I really need a little break. I need to do some housework. I am feeling worn around the edges and I can't remember the last time I walked my dog.

Tonight L took me to the movies. I appreciated the surprise. We saw Inception. I liked it quite a lot. I still have to think about it, but I think it'll be one of my favorite movies. Certainly one of my recent favorites. Also making me smile are my fingernails - I have several different colors on them because my little girl needed them to help her pick out her favorite color today - thankfully they are just various shades of pink. She wanted to spray perfume all over me, but I didn't let her. She was drawn to the Ralph Lauren fragrances (which I also like). I told her that I wore the RL in the garnet colored bottle when I dated her daddy and she wanted me to buy some to remind him. I thought that was precious of her to think of. I'm pretty sure he'd rather have the 60 bucks then the fanning of his memory.

Now it is my bed time. I bet I sleep well. I bet I don't dream that the arrow gets messed up. I am glad for a little window to sit in and rest. I haven't read anything non aviation in so long.

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