The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Monday, August 26, 2013

Notes on "The Language of  Choice Theory"

symptoms and complaints are viewed as creative ways individuals choose to deal with current relationship problems (anger, headaches, depression) (the author of what I'm reading didn't say "ice cream", but I think that is my creative go to ...).

"coercing, controlling, relationship destroying psychology used when having difficulty getting along with someone else" (Glasser 2003)

false beliefs:
  • one is made to behave
  • you can control someone
  • we know what's right for all
habits of external control:
  • criticizing
  • blaming
  • complaining
  • nagging
  • threatening
  • punishing
  • rewarding to control
alternatives to above habits:
  • supporting
  • encouraging
  • listening
  • accepting
  • trusting
  • respecting
  • negotiating differences

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