I've been awake for a couple of hours now ... thinking about what my husband has been saying lately, that I am the friendliest most easy going person he has ever seen. He is glad that I can do social events. I tell him those are easy, because I don't bring the shy me along to those things ... those things aren't about me ... those things are so easy to negotiate because everybody really just wants to talk about themselves at those kind of things ... everybody wants to be impressive. So ... I've been thinking about that. I like to dress up for those events ... that, and the flowers are my favorite parts, and the music ... if it's live. I like to see the helpers at those things ... The people who pour the wine, the people who walk around with the hor d'oeuvres ... they really set mood. And they tell how the whole thing went at the end of the night when coffee is served. I know how things are at my table ... the coffee guys broadcast for the whole room. Well ... I know how to do those type things, but it's my same ole thing ... friendly towards strangers is the easiest thing in the world. Smile, nod, laugh, ask easy follow up questions ... how did y'all meet? Everyone has worked out a witty little story for that ... everyone wants to be shown in their best light at those little events. I've been trying to think of places or events where I invest like that. I can't find them. Stuff like that reminds me of ... hmmmm ... beauty pageants ... love me like me. Except those cows, right? Those cows were oblivious to the whole thing ... walking around pooping as though extra points were to be awarded for that. Maybe cows are smarter then I am crediting them with.
Friendly and easy going ... yeah, probably. So easy when one is not really engaged. I care about different things. That's really what I'm worried about ... detached. I don't want to be detached, but I don't see places where I want to connect very often. Maybe that is just what getting old is about. Yesterday, as I worked, I watched a doc on the trail. I still want to walk that. I am used to having "a passion" now ... I don't feel restless, but I feel that I have room on my shelf for another passion. Something real ... something meaningful. An endeavor. Something that I think is worth the spare moments of my life. I see what I'm reading ... it does have a common thread. I wonder what God is trying to get me ready for.

Well, today ... A hand full of eleven year olds. An outing. I am looking forward to the day. And tonight ... a movie. I'm smiling ... sitting quietly in the dark will likely be just the thing tonight!