The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Friday, October 21, 2011

Happiness

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So ... I am back to accessing my strengths as I look at how I want to spend the next several months and years of my life. This quiet year has been good. I feel it winding down though. I feel a need to find what is next. I don't know what it will be, but I am interested to see the next few months as they unfold.
This book I'm reading, and btw ... highly recommend it ... The Happiness Hypothesis Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom Jonathan Haidt. (ummm ... Not sure truth can be "modern" ... but he does get to title his own book!) Chapter Five; The Pursuit of Happiness, encourages the reader to discover their strengths, making the point that ... well here's an excerpt(pg.96 and 97):

"one reason for the widespread philosophical wariness of sensual pleasure is that it gives no lasting benefit. Pleasure feels good in the moment, but sensual memories fade quickly, and the person is no wiser or stronger afterwards. Even worse, pleasure beckons people back for more, away from activities that might be better for them in the long run. But gratifications are different. Gratifications ask more of us; they challenge us and ask us to extend ourselves. Gratifications often come from accomplishing something, learning something, or improving something. When we enter a state of flow, hard work becomes effortless. We want to keep exerting ourselves, honing our skills, using our strengths. Seligman suggests that the key to finding your gratifications is to know your own strengths. One of the big accomplishments of positive psychology has been the development of a catalogue of strengths. You can find out your strengths by taking an online test at www.authentichapiness.org"

Tap this post's title to jump to Authentic Happiness ... seems to be a data collection and resource dissemination site hosted by the prestigious University of Pennsylvania. I took the test
... and found that my top five strengths are:

Your First strength
Industry, diligence, and perseverance
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

Your Second Strength
Bravery and valor
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

Your Third Strength
Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Your Fourth Strength
Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Fifth Strength
Capacity to love and be loved
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.


No surprises there. Those results sound exactly like me ... and they should, they are based on my self-perceptions. I wonder how similar the findings would be if the survey were answered by someone who believes they know me well. ... Anyway, the idea is that it will be most gratifying for me to find a place where these strengths are exercised.

The book ... is excellent. I am reading it slowly as to give myself time to think about what Dr. Haidt is expressing. The writing style is like a running conversation that he is having with a group of friends ... well developed thoughts which he supports in an easy going manner.

Here's an interesting thought from the book ... "Evolution seems to have made us "strategically irrational" at times for our own good, for example, a person who gets angry when cheated, and who will pursue vengeance regardless of the cost, earns a reputation that discourages would be cheaters. A person who pursued vengeance only when the benefits outweighed the costs could be cheated with impunity in many situations." See, it's stuff like that which is so obviously true that makes the book fun to read slowly. I have maybe gotten the whole "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord" thing out of whack. Many of the ideas offered in this book, encourage me to check my modus operandi.

It's Friday ... Things to do to get ready for the weekend. I said I'd go help a local mission type group with a project. They need a sheet rock volunteer. Too funny (because while I rock sheetrock repair, I do not love that dust) ... it will be good for me. I'm concerned that all the leaves on the AT will have changed color and fallen to the ground before we have another Saturday to walk. But I am happy to help someone with something as simple as home repairs. Having where you live better can really make a big difference in ones life. I really like having my broken stuff repaired ... loved up a little.

It's all good.

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