The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Monday, April 7, 2014

 “Nothing can make our life, 
   or the lives of other people, 
more beautiful than perpetual kindness."

~ Leo Tolstoy

Started out mid day on Friday towards home ... with a planned stopped along the way so my momma could visit her sister.  Momma is declining rapidly, but I thought one last road trip might be a wonderful treat for her.  She did fine in the truck until it got dark ... well, by fine I mean the "little babies" she was "seeing" were happy and she found the process highly enthralling describing them and their activities in detail.  I assured her that just because I couldn't see them didn't mean that I doubted that she could ... she has been talking to them for several days now.  They are careful, intent creatures who smile almost continuously ... one was keeping an eye on the fuel gauge. He wore a bow tie she said.  Because I was also watching the fuel gauge (seriously?  I may need help with other stuff, but not with monitoring basic stuff like that) I knew the baby in the bow tie would stay happy.

Guess it's Baytown where whatever that is is lit up.
This ... a refinery ... and at night it glitters gold, and probably especially so if one is hopped up on pain meds as Momma is.  Maybe she thought it was heaven, alls I know is after we drove on by the experience went down hill. The babies were still with us at the Cracker Barrel but they were behind her and she kept on needing to turn around in her seat to watch them.  After dinner she became paranoid ... anxious ... fearful and by time we stopped at her sister's house she didn't really know me or her sister.  I'm getting used to that ... she calls me the little lady who stays with her and doesn't seem to mind that my name is the same as her daughter's name ... she asks me, "What is my daughter's name, what is your name?" and doesn't necessarily click on the idea that I am her daughter.
Anyway ... after dinner ... not great.  I was so glad to tuck her in to bed for the night hoping for a better day to come.  She slept the entire day ... drank the tiniest bit of water and was entirely disinterested in eating.  I thought it best to bring her back to the nest.  Tommy took a turn for the worse so I was relieved to not be so very far away.  He is in the hospital now ... will be for a few days, but the crisis has past. Today he said he might just make it his life ambition to have an ice machine installed in his home that produces the wonderfully delightful (perfect) ice which is his big treat here ... ice, just the tiniest few he can get by on because they are contra doctor's orders ... and now the one lifesaver.  Big little things.  Today the nurse asked him to describe his bowel movement for her  ... euphoric he didn't even have to think about it and she laughed right out loud as he winked at me ... I'm used to his quirky sense of humor.
That's a Lutheran Church house kinda out in the middle of no where ... and the fields next to it.  It's pretty here.  Bluebonnets, Indian Paint Brush, Buttercups, Wild Mustard and something purple violet cover the roadways and fields here in Central Texas.  I'm just collecting little things  ... I'm grateful. 

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