The senior pilot in the area, the guy I had the lunch pow wow with the other day, has been successful at pulling enough rabbits out of the aviation hat - the one here on the local stage - to keep his family and employees well fed over the years. I have tremendous respect and admiration for the guy. He also enjoys manipulating the pieces, I think. Because I believe he is a good person ... I've known him for a long time ... I am willing to ask him "What would you do?" when I find myself puzzled. He's got enough of the pieces to see the larger picture ... that picture on the lid of the puzzle box. I trust him while keeping an eye out ... he's a bit of a practical joker ... but not about something like this. He's knows this is important to me.

He suggested that I call the ... how do I write about this discreetly? ... call a decision maker up, and offer a suggestion. This suggestion: "Hire me, and I will bring my own students in to fly your planes." In a word the guy said no ... that will not work. He said it very nicely ... it was wrapped in a lot of other words. He said, you remember how it was back in 2000 and something when the hostile take-over began(his words) ... the coup (his word) ... that ousted this guy from power (yes I remember ... the coup d'etat not the coup de grace).
Well ... he's back. I can tell that he feels bad that I have been a victim of his scorched earth policy ... but ... as he said himself, I am savvy (enough to get at least some of this). I have witnessed the unfolding of events over the past decade. I think he really would prefer that I am not in the front row seating ... . I am realising, naive as I am, that this guy is trying very hard to regain control of what he sees as his. See ... I've been misinterpreting his management style ... I thought he was inept ... instead he is excruciatingly adept ... the man is cleaning house! Big, double duh!

... more on this later.

Okay, so ... If I had been listening well ... objectively ... analytically, rather then with my own little tiny agenda clogging my ears, I would have understood this long time ago ... back when we had that gear up out here ... back when all the colored pieces in the kaleidoscopes first began to fracture. He hired that guy (they wore very similar uniforms in their previous lives) and that guy began to trivialize his position ... his guy. That guy is gone. All the players in that drama are gone ... personel changes are underway ... including the spectators . My little deal ... that I still can't quite believe is notgonnahappen ... I was willing to adapt to the wishes of the new emperor ... I thought that would be enough, but this morning I woke up. The picture on the puzzle box is still unavailable to me, but enough of the pieces have been laid in place for me to finally see it ... .

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see" *Thoreau ... one of my favorite quotes ... laughing at myself because in this case, I just wasn't looking because I didn't want to see. And I'm not saying I have this all figured out, but you know how sometimes in life, stuff, all of a sudden, just falls in to place ... that's how this feels. It resonates.

Day before yesterday when I talked with the guy, I said, "I have no appetite for kicking sand around in your sandbox." There was a palatable shift in his demeanor. He would like to help me find what I am going to do - aviationwise - this isn't personal to him. He knows that not honoring promises made, even if they were made by your former friends/employees is wrong. But ... that's just how it is ... it works best for him that way, and he does get to decide. He doesn't want to say I will not let you be hired here, but come on, could it be any clearer?! He has HR issues to deal with ... . I have already stated that I will not push my issue over his head in the chain of command ... . Let him have his little sandbox ... it's full of kittypoop anyway.

My buddygirl from home called this morning ... she wants to know if I am really okay ... yeah, I really am ... this has been worrying me because it just didn't make sense. But it's starting to. It's all going to be just fine ... maybe even better then fine.