The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Sunday, February 10, 2013




My brother just can't quite believe we do okay without a TV in the house.  He has called several times today to make certain that I am aware of the weather in my area.  Yes, I assure him, barely raining here, nope the wind is calm ... uh huh, just a bit of thunder, nothing to be alarmed about.  The dog isn't bothering about it yet.  Sammy the weather dog.  Sammy says it's a fine evening to be under the porch.  

I was awake a lot last night.  Dreams I can't remember today, they seemed so real last night.  I like that. The opportunity to "experience" something outside of "real" as we know it.  I like reading the thoughts good thinkers have expressed about dreams.  Ever since I was tiny I dreamed of flying, maybe that was inspired by all the Disney productions we saw at the drive-in movies right before we drifted off to sleep in the back of my parent's red Chevy wagon.  They'd run us through the bathtub, dress us in p.j.s and slippers and take us out for a double feature ... Uncle Walt first then John Wayne or some such.  I loved it, out under the stars with those scratchy transmitters ... sometimes my Dad would bring lawn chairs along and we sit outside near the car.  
I dreamed of flying and then I learned how to fly and the dreams stopped ... not completely, I sometimes still dream I'm flying something, but back then, I was just flying around in my body.  

My book did come on Saturday and I am itching for the house to get quiet so I can dive in to it ... have read a bit and I think it is going to be ... pivotal.

Next ... a some point during the night I looked at Alistair Begg's latest idea, in a nut shell:

Harder to be Full Then Empty
I know how to abound. ~ Philippians 4:2
There are many who know" how to be brought low" who have not learned "how to abound".  When they are set upon the top of a pinnacle their heads grow dizzy, and they are ready to fall.  The Christian disgraces his profession more often in prosperity than in adversity.


What I was thinking about after reading the devotional->
If/When something happens which lifts my soul, or unfolds my soul, something which helps me experience God's nearness ... that's the context I am thinking of "prosperity" in.  Something which enriches the soul.
  
Everyonceinawhile, I "feel" the slightest brush of what must be God's hand (and it feels really good ... like He really is present) and I want that.  Unfortunately, it soon feels kinda greedy, selfish, sort of I want to feel good, safe ... cherished want.  A "grasping" sort of thing, rather then a resting in sort of thing.   Last night I was thinking that those few moments when one "feels" really good are almost exactly like a dream.  Fleeting and then, surreal.  And then ... forgotten.  I'm working on "abounding" well.  I wonder how does one just go with the flow of the comfort and security, the shelter of God's felt presence.  Like this ... The children of Israel were delivered from the yolk of bondage and eventually they were in the middle of nowhere, hungry, scared, probably bone tired.  They had seen all the super cool "plague" miracles, were led by a cloud during the day and a fiery column at night (if I remember story correctly), in short, they had "experienced the presence of God" ... and then they were in that bad spot and God provided food from right out of thin air ... nourishment fell right at their feet, surrounding them.  Super cool and amazing.  They were suddenly prosperous ... and with the food came the admonition to gather up only enough for right now.  Enough for right now resonates as an exercise in trust to me.  They might have had no reason not to trust as the story unfolds, but some set about to put some back for tomorrow, presumable so they would have some just in case God didn't provide, they set about to provide for themselves when specifically instructed not to.  It's ironic that they had plenty by the hand of God but couldn't bring themselves to "trust" in the steadiness of that hand and the "heart" beyond it.   Something intended as good became bad for them.  Their actions messed up the "prosperity".
I can see a lot of the rational that would drive me to gather more then enough, I mean who knows how much one might truly need?  And ... maybe I misunderstood the directions in the first place ... and ... .  I think this prosperity lesson is for me about not trying to do things for myself to make myself "feel" how I like to feel.  It is something like knowing that the Unseen is near even when I cannot see him.  It's a little bit about trust in the sense that trust supports the peacefulness of believing God is who he says he is.  It's not so easy when all one's senses clamor for a continuing state of prosperity.  The thing I am trying to express falls away when we try to pull it tightly around ourselves.  
Like a dream ... I remember that I felt a way I liked to feel.  I have the memory of a time but, I am unable to reproduce the feeling.  I know that doesn't make sense, but I'm going to leave it like that while I think about it some more.  Let's see ... hmmm ... somebody brought to me a gift and I loved what they brought to me.   Their presence was part of what the gift was ... or was I mistaken about that?  Now the gift is opened and uh, it's a raincoat, I wear it all the time and I love it, it keeps me warm and snug.  But ... and ... I liked when the raincoat was delivered ... the someone smiled when I opened the gift and held it while I slid in to it, and lifted my hair as I drew the rain coat near ... I turned around to say thank you and we hugged.  That's it ... the rain coat is "the prosperity" (some folks have only a towel, some have not even an umbrella or a roll of Bounty) but I miss the smile and the hug which accompanied the gift..  I have the raincoat but I am bereft of the gift-giver, of the shared smiled, of the warmth of the embrace.  The memory of receiving the gift is like a dream, I close my eyes and see it happening, but I can't "feel" it.  Hmmm, full and empty at the same time.  I think I needed the raincoat for the journey.
Prosperity ...  successful, flourishing, or thriving condition (especially financial, but not especially here in this context).



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