Misgoded.

Some one intentionally created this new word to express an old problem.  I can't stop thinking about how perfect the word is. Misgoded. ... it's pretty easy to be misgoded.  I mean ... really, isn't that the one thing we all seem to have in common?  I hear the call of little gods ... they are pretty loud.


Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.  After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.  Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" 

People are trying to make their lives "work" with the information ... experiences ... impressions ... that they have gathered over their lifetimes.  I bet I have figured some of my stuff out all wrong.  I can see my kids doing that sometimes ... they think they are so right when in fact,  inexperience has jumped them to an inaccurate or incomplete conclusion ... then they make decisions and choices based on ... ummm crap.  I'm not trying to think about a/the kid/s right now.  I think we all do this thing ... and it makes a pretty big mess over time.  In that story from I Kings 19, Elijah, who had witnessed the reality of God ... I mean he had seen with his own eyes some amazing stuff ... Elijah was hiding out ... scared. I'm not thinking that the story didn't go exactly like the Book says it did, I'm just thinking about  the places where we might go to hide out ... ummm, little hobbies, distractions, treats ... off track things, things we know are enticing us off track.

Walking the trail was really very cool ... not that we did much of it, but enough for me to notice that the proper path was clearly discernible  ... not always easy to walk; there were slippery spots, and almost too steep spots, places where rocks jutted punishing edges, places where trees had fallen, places where a slimy bridge demanded one careful foot in front of another ... occasionally the trail was wide enough to walk along side a buddy, but mostly it encouraged single file passage.
You knew when you were venturing off track.  I was pretty serious about staying on the trail ... bears.  I never say them, but I smelled them which is pretty impressive for a nose educated in the city ... you know how it is near the bear houses at the zoo ... same smell in the woods ... it squinted my wary eyes and keep me moving away from the berry bushes.  Bear stink.  Also off trail ... poison ivy.  

The vines were kept trampled down on the path, the easy work of many feet going before, and my little chacos did their part, but stepping off the path was to invite any type of epic allergic reaction.  Spiders ... Snakes ... thorns, holes, hideous multi-legged stinging wormy looking things ... all sorts of unpleasantries lurked off the narrow way.
There were places to climb to that felt like walking in the clouds ... well, that's exactly what we were doing, and the views, when they opened up, were suddenly so majestic that I felt tiny even without looking at the stars.  Just here, under this living canopy  ... is big enough, has been here long enough ... was fantastically created ...  from the process that makes trees green all the way out to the panorama of the seemingly endless forest cradled by an arching sky.
Sometimes in overwhelming delight or other times in soul sapping weariness, you get to a place on the trail where it's just so much ... and for what ever reason you decide to sit down and try to take it all in ... next day you're rewarded with the realization that you are working with chigger bites where you don't want bites of any kind.  Little insidious pains in the behind.  Invisible, but they make themselves known.  They encourage you to stay on the path ... .

I've climbed some mountains that I wouldn't have believed could be torn apart ... seen more then a few shattered rocks that bare silent witness to forces greater then the mountains which appeared unmovable. I've felt what I thought was unshakable ... crumble away to pieces smaller then the dust we're created from.  Earthquakes are scary ... scarier then bears. And fire.  I need fire to to ward off the chill, to bake the bread and ripen the vine ... fire for light ... fire to refine ... but ... gosh it's scary to be drawn to a flame, seeking warmth ... naively seeking a little warmth, and finding yourself on the brink of consumed.  Pretty easy to be misgoded.  My eyes haven't ever seen the guide ... I can almost always see the trail though.

And after the fire came a gentle whisper.  

Why does God whisper?

I think I'm starting to know.
I close my eyes and remember whispered moments. Tiny sweet smiles ... sparkling eyes ... precious delights.  Whispered words are intimate words ... words shared close among chosen companions.  Whispers ... closer then close relationship, close enough to breathe each other in ... .  Close close.

Acts 17:27  God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

I think He whispers because he is near.   The guide whispers.

Well ... that's what I'm thinking about today.  I started a new time in my little life by reaching for something different and the experience ... whispered ... helped me to collect myself and get still ... all that scary stuff in the Elijah story ... well, Elijah was basically running scared ... running for his life.  I think the events of his life had PTSed his earth suit.  I think his earth suit was in survival mode.  It's hard to hear a whisper when you're really really scared. And ... hiding out in a cave didn't turn out to be as relaxing as he must have imagined it might be.

Well ... times up ... I get to finish up my pretty walls today and ... I have another room needing my attention.  Three has flown the nest and Four has begun moving her things in to his vacated space.  We're going to work at sprinkling some sugar and spice where snakes and snails and puppy dog tails have recently been.  This is her first time to have a room by herself ... . Pretty sweet stuff.