either way it's all Gucci

I've been thinking about this all day ... today is a turning point ... I am totally here and adjusting my course for there. Inbound on should ... I can see the gate to happy. It would be a real shame to not rock the landing there!

Finally the day is done ... This is the fun part ... relax and think about the events of the day. I have a couple of notes to email out and then just chill.
I stood out by the bleachers tonight watching my son's team play baseball (lots of agains). There was a coach there from a school in Florida looking at a couple of the boys and he struck up a conversation with me. He asked me where the restrooms were located and I gestured towards a big oak 'bout 200' over there, saying, "seems like most of the guys prefer that one" ... he laughed first. He came back (from the real restroom ... I do have private school grade company manners when I am behaving well)with a few questions about our boys. I told him these boys have been playing ball with each other since they were hitting the ball off a tee ... several of them will pay for their education with a little red stitched ball. We haven't missed many games in the past 15 years ... and that's just one "team" for one of my five children ... there's been innummeralable Science Olympiad ... Band ... Art Shows ... Sports Teams galore ... PTA ... Scouts ... Dance ... All kinds of great stuff. I have gotten to be there for all their best stuff and if someone is sick ... I get to take care if them ... They haven't had to fend for themselves much. If one of their buds needs a ride ... No problem. A teacher needs a hand with something ... Call me, I can probably help out. One of those old ladies at church asked me if I could help out on the bereavement committee ... basically help out with meals if somebody passes away. I can do that ... definitely ... someone "passing" hits close to home with this lady ... all of her best friends are old ... I sat with her in a hospital room last year ... her only brother was dying ... he talked to me about flying during his war ... he told me that he is certain heaven will be as good as flying was ... she cried when she thanked me for listening so intently ... (Are you kidding?! ... This is some of that holy ground. It is an honor to get to be there for people) I have time for that sort of thing and I especially love older people. I had time to listen to the old soldier behind me in line at the post office yesterday ... believe it or not, he was telling me what came out of his catheter ... almost gross, but he was so delighted ... it was funny ... that's what he wants to talk about ... I can listen to him ... boy, was he fired up about Korea and how everything is in a shit basket ... he said his main regret is that he spent his youth saving the country and has lived long enough to regret it ... I liked him ... spitting vinegar.

This is what I'm thinking about ... I would give anything for the opportunity to live the exact life I've lived. It has been a good life. I have a feeling I'm just now getting to the best part. To me, precisely what you "do" seems less important then what you "do with it".
Yes, I would like to flight instruct. Yes, that didn't go as I thought it would. I really don't like to hear my kids whine, "that isn't fair ...", but I'm thinking that is what I've been saying here. I've been wasting time pouting.
I am going to make myself a promise. This is it: I promise to stop worrying about flight instructing. It will either work out, or it won't. It's pretty much all Gucci either way ... . The truth is, flying, any kind if flying, charter or instructing, is just icing on the cake. (On the super duper cake that I got to bake ... it makes the whole area smell delicious! Plenty for everyone ... that is who I get to be ... there is a ton of joy there and I have been stepping over that to get to the poor me seat ... I am ashamed of myself)
In the previous post, I said I should be ... Happy. I think that's really right ... as in true ... I should be. I'm going to be. I've been looking at things wrong ... I'm letting a little upset over here mess up way more then I should. I have the gift of time ... To do all kinds of things that I think are important, and I pretty much get to choose how my day is going to look ... yeah, there are interesting pop ups, but those really don't bother me much at all. This is my promise to myself ... I'm going to quit acting like a big baby about this flying stuff. I'll do the best I can ... If it works out - good, if it doesn't - okay, them's the breaks. No more fussing.

That worrying this morning was just ridiculous. I just got myself going over nothing. Sometimes women are bitchy with each other - so what? The real me thinks that's kinda amusing/interesting ... it usually doesn't get to me ... it says something about the sender, not the intended recipient ... I know that! That's really just no big deal ... What I was really fretting about was the fact that I wasn't getting ready to do what I thought I should get to do ... Go to work out at the airport. The guys are easy to be around. I fit there ... it's my comfort zone. But not anymore ... So I say, get over it DeAnniebobannie. I mean that in the kindest way. It's time to be thankful for all the great blessing I enjoy. I am very fortunate. Time is the only real commody. I get to spend mine pretty much as I see fit ... that has to make me one of the most fortunate people on the planet.

I like lists ... lists I can cross things off of as they are completed ... I can enjoy making a list of what the day I have to work with might look like. I can make this day it's best version. I can feel good about accomplishing what's in front of me ... rather then fretting for more. It's time for that now.