I have enjoyed - much - that kind of enjoyed that feels like sunshine is shooting out of every pore of my body ... like that last scene in an 80S scifi movie. Can't remember the title of that movie ... Maybe it was a Star Trek movie but I don't remember Kirk or Pichard ... A beautiful bald headed crew member was abducted from the ship ... She later reappeared as a "probe" with a blue light implanted in her forehead. Bald was quite daring at that time ... At the end of the movie a male crew member who loved her and could still see the essence of her in the probe ... Yeah it's scifi chicflic-alicious ... They stand near a Voyager space craft gazing in to one another's eyes and light begins to encircle them like a tornado ... They dematerialize I think in orgasmic splendor ... And the movie ends (as I recall) with the captain saying "a new life form is born". I remember liking the special effect ... That's how I have felt recently. It's sorta like a happy that colors everything ... Better. It made the crooked straight and the rough places plain. That is how I want to feel. Now that I know I am capable of that ... That's how I want to feel. I'm not sure how to make that happen. That felt ... Totally alive ... Like shimmering with life. It actually felt better then flying an airplane which is shocking to me. I personally feel more like myself when I am flying then anywhere else. Hope that doesn't upset my husband to read that ... No offense intended.

That feeling ... It's very interesting to experience a better version of yourself. I am thinking that may be how God would like for me to experience this wonderful gift of life that He gave me. So amazingly alive. Peace ... Joy. I know I am capable of that now. That's pretty cool. I'm going to figure that out ... .