One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
Hmmm ... thinking about,and noting here on the topic of self/ego for a while now. There isn't time to do much more then add a few notes here for myself today. I am doing seasonal cleaning in my home and as I do, it seems that process is taking place in my soul. Who knew ... so many cluttered catch alls ... smudge marks ... dust bunnies hiding behind an under tended psyche ... bet we all have the drawer where anything and everything might be found ... if you could just lay your hands on it when you really need it!
I am looking out my window, past the rose vine which is now covered with fragrant little pink blooms ... a mother bird is hidden in the vines, her nest resting on thorns, but she has carefully "feathered" it to support her objective. I'd like to know how many eggs she is caring for ... but it seems more important to let her do her job in peace! Can she smell the roses? Is she safe there hidden in open view? Watching the process is one of my favorite pleasures this time of year ... I hope I am here to see her babies leave the nest. It is a time of wonder. We have a huge front lawn carpeted in beautiful grass ... I do not know the variety, just that it is nicer then the grass in Texas ... the dogwoods and red buds are blooming now and our pecan tree is leafing out ... spring here is glorious. The across the street neighbor's yard service came yesterday morning while I was outside weeding my front beds ... I am a woman who loves a precisely trimmed curb ... and the sidewalk leading up to the front door while you're at it please! We let our yard service go at the beginning of last summer and bought a mower. It seems like the right thing to do ... teach the kids the responsibilities that home ownership requires ... that's working out pretty well, but ... mowers don't edge ... truth is ... weed eaters really don't edge well either, I know that because I do the weed eater gig. I have priced edgers ... they are kinda costly for an operation that plans on moving to the beach within the next few growing seasons ... not much call for an edger at the beach! Last year I negotiated with a yard crew to stop by my house to do the edging twice a month ... five bucks was their asking price (I always tipped them another five and a couple of my husband's ice cold beers if I was home when they did the work ... otherwise I'd leave cash in an envelope on the front porch on the day they were expected ... ). That particular group graduated from college and sold their customer list ... I'm not a fan of the new guys so back to square one on that little big deal. I'm laughing at myself here, because I should be looking out my window at the bird nest in the rose vine. I really should clip a few blooms for the table here. But. I am looking across the street at that perfectly groomed edge. Yeah, I visited with the head honcho for the guys who did the neighbor's yard yesterday ... he called his boss before asking me what I was thinking a job like that was worth ... I said five bucks got it done last year ... twice a month. He said the boss said ten and I shrugged before I told him ten bucks for a five minute job was too much money (in Spanish ... thought that would earn some points). Negotiations broke down shortly after that ... why didn't I just say ... okay (and keep the beer chilled for the husband) ...
My time here is up ... guess that is my most pressing issue today ...lol ... coulda shoulda been handled yesterday morning! I miss flying those little one day charter flights where taking care of the PAX and plane was clearly the objective ... where if that went well, the day got a gold star. There aren't very many gold star days when one's most pressing activities are ... pressing laundry and stumbling through the maze of housewifery.
And if I don't get really busy now, I won't be able to justify that long walk with ole Sammybo. I'm learning to keep a running list of what I do all day so that when the day is done, I can see where it went ... that actually helps! I'm going to go gather a few of those sweet little roses ... .
