Wednesday night I saw a chest of drawers with "good lines" sitting out near the curb in our new neighbor's front yard. Thursday morning bright and early is trash pick up on our street. I was really hoping someone would see that chest of drawers and save it from the landfill. Thursday morning L and Two are driving in to work together. She sees the chest and tells her dad "If Momma sees that chest before the truck rolls through, it will be in the garage when we get home tonight."
"No way" he says, "last thing she needs right now is a project."
My girl knows me. I hate the idea of something useful just going to waste ... even more so when it is also beautiful. The wood grain on this old chest is book matched. I noticed that immediately as I zoomed by on the way to drop off Five for school. Even little miss knew that chest might have a future with us.
"Mom plleeassse don't get that ... it would be soooo embarrassing."
I just shrug. I decide what is embarrassing for myself.
"Well, prepare yourself for my worst, because if it is still there when I get home, I'm definitely going to take a close look at it."

Yep ... still there ... sitting pretty under a layer of shimmering frost. The top two drawers slide out smoothly and I begin to think about new pulls ... what does this chest want ... hmmm. Middle drawer is a little whooper-jawed. I feel certain I can soothe that. Bottom drawer ... Not much there behind the gorgeous front ... Looks like all the pieces are resting in the middle drawer. I know I can "fix" this even if I have to build the bottom drawer from scratch. My feet are getting cold standing around out here thinking about something that the thinking is done on.

Okay ... heavy ... really heavy. Heavy is good with furniture, but this is just a bit too heavy for me to move. Now ... I figure I can flip it upside down and push it back on the lawn ... uh, the new neighbor's lawn ... to signal the garbage collector not to haul it off ... then I can go round up some cardboard to "sled" it on. I know I am strong enough to push the thing down hill. That's my thinking when I pull out my phone and call the neighbor. She answers immediately ... bet she was watching the whole thing. Maybe I should be embarrassed, but I just tell her that I think this is a beautiful piece of furniture and I wonder if she minds if I have it. She says she will put on some warm clothes and come help me carry it to my garage. I feel bad about getting her out ... she says she is so glad I am rescueing it ... her husband doesn't have time to work on it again ... they paid ten dollars for it at a garage sale in Chicago and it's been a vexation ever since ... . The two of us can barely carry it. Every six feet or so we have to put it down ... my drive way has never looked so long!

"Let's just leave it right here ... my guys can move it the rest of the way this evening." she comes in to visit for a while ... to catch her breath before she climbs back up the hill!

I don't know what I'm going to do with it after I finish "fixing" it ... .

It's waiting for me out in the garage now. I like to have things like that to keep my hands busy. This piece will be an interesting challenge. The top is veneered and has a few blemishes. I don't know if they will sand out or not. A small corner of veneer is missing from the top's edge ... I know I will putty that in and I think I will attempt a very simple trompe-l'œil "fix" for the wood grain.

Husband is out on a field trip for the next several days. The kids always have big plans when the week end gets here. I think I will be sitting with that chest for the next few days.

Airplane waiting in the maintenance hanger on a few little pieces ... I've been doing a bit of ground work with a couple of students. I'm still working on acquiring enough time in the plane so that I may be insured to instruct. It is the easiest flying plane I've ever flown. This time last year I know I would have been aggravated to be in this situation ... I would be busy drumming up renters who required a safety pilot, or looking for some little warrior that needed to be ferried somewhere. I like this me better. This me trusts that everything is exactly as it should be ... this me really does believe that it is interesting to sit back and see how things unfold. Even as I type those words out my heart smiles ... because ... something miraculous has taken place in me ... how do I describe it? Some process has strengthened my feeble soul towards trust. I am going to learn the language to express this in ... this year. Some people are able to find ways of expressing this sort of thing. Writing out a set of facts and coloring around them with descriptive words is difficult enough ... but this thing I am talking about isn't a matter of simply choosing with my brain to consciously see things differently ... It's sorta like the Turrell quote posted a day or two ago ... . This is like a light I can see with my eyes shut ... with my heart open. That's it ... a little private miracle opened my heart ... hmmm not exactly my heart ... for now the best words I can think to apprehend this feeling are ... unexpectedly, inexplicably, the heart of my heart began to pulse strongly ... softly, but steadily ... strongly. My soul feels ... what? ... re-invigorated? Maybe this is what those guys who have a little heart surgery feel ... a stint has "fixed" a little "broken" heart. I've been thinking about it a lot lately as the year ends. It's a big deal to me. It's true that this year has been the very best year of a lifetime of pretty spectacular years. I sat still ... not because I particularly wanted to. Hmmm ... I wasn't expecting a miracle. (That's why the quote on "The Star" resonated so ... That light does indeed endure and it is a beacon for a weary soul ... to "see" that light calling through the darkness is ... fortifying to say the least ... that light may lead one home) ... What is the definition of miracle ... I'm gonna go see, because it seems like a miracle must be something beyond ones imagination ... those miracles mentioned in the Bible were always more ... always beyond what could be imagined possible.

Miracle:

n.
1. An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God: "Miracles are spontaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves" (Katherine Anne Porter).
2. One that excites admiring awe. See Synonyms at wonder.

miracle - From Latin miraculum, "object of wonder"; its ultimate root meant "to smile upon."


n miracle [ˈmirəkl]
1 something which man is not normally capable of making happen and which is therefore thought to be done by a god or God. Christ's turning of water into wine was a miracle.
2 a fortunate happening that has no obvious natural cause or explanation.


Well ... That chest out in the garage is going to help me think about this. I know I am different then I was this time last year. I know it is related to being able to actually see "the essential me" as being able to trust ... God. Sometimes tutorials are painful ... like the tenderness a body feels after a surgery. I am going to go back and look at those miracles because suddenly I realize that they came at some cost. The persons involved ... changed. Hmmm. Thinking time.