from May2011 Hugs

Someone told me a secret today ... I usually don't love secrets, but this one ... I love this secret. I've been waiting to hear this secret.

I also started figuring out something that I've been working with since last July ... those dreams weren't about waiting. I felt like they were holding a message ... I think some times dreams do. Both of those dreams were so vivid ... memorable ... and I thought they were related ... linked.
"Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you." - Marsha Norman

Somewhere along the way of life seems like we get messed up.  Like, you know how you meet or see someone and you're like, "Oh man, he is so messed up!" and maybe you say a little prayer for them or maybe you're thankful that you're not that messed up ... . Well, we all have our little hidden "messed up". One of mine is  way down there on the first tier of Maslow's hierarchy. I'm going to label it "abandoned".  It's a tiny scared space in my psyche ... my soul ... that is afraid to take a chance on "trust". But ... and this is huge for me ... I am getting better at trust and less afraid of abandoned.  I believe both of those dreams are about ... trust, and in both of those dreams, I find myself ... abandoned.  Abandoned doesn't freak me out in either dream ... I stay just like me ... pretty calm ... trying to figure it out. 
  
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."
     ~ Flavia Weedn

Don't you love this little quote?  It's good. People, even perhaps important to you people, come and quickly go. That's good ...I mean really good, like a little hug from God, reminding you, that you have not been abandoned ... reminding you that you are cherished by God. It really doesn't get any better then that.

I have been messing something important in life up because of this little issue with abandoned ... stranded ... I don't let people get close enough to me to give me those little hugs from God. I am a pretty good hug giver ... but not a hug receiver ... I don't want to be touched.  I know what that looks like on other people ... just didn't know that about myself.  I want to look out for myself ... I want to count on myself.

Note 2 December ... Looking for something else and saw this. Hugs. Hugs are good.