Driving in and out through thick patches of fog this morning I had a thought.
That word, my word, determined, I've earned the right to choose a new word. Determined has so many other words attached to it ... Determined has brought me to here, and this is a good place, but maybe I can set determined aside. Thinking about "wait" was liberating. I think maybe words do carry more meaning then I'd realized. Can I choose my own word, or do I just identify which best me leads the way for the next while? Does what I'm writing make sense ... ?
I'm safely back at the waters edge. Tonight I'll sleep with the doors open. I need to hear the waves rolling in and so sweetly retreating.
I'm thinking about a different word. A word that doesn't have to work so hard at holding all the pieces so carefully ... Braiding the pieces so sure and so strong. Working at thisandthat always wondering is this whats best? Determined was good. Determined was awesome. Now maybe I can relax a little. Maybe even soar a little.
I'm smiling at myself, because I don't think I can choose a new word ... I've indentified with determined for a longlong time. I think I understand determined. At the same time ... Surely I've been at it long enough to reap whatever the entire harvest is for that perspective on life ... The positives and the maybe not so positives.
I'm sitting out on the balcony ... way up here at about 200'agl ... looking up.
Orion is directly over the gulf, amazing, isn't it. Mentioned in the Old Testament ... How many humans have sat looking up at those ancient lights? How many stories have been told as they sparkle overhead?

Amazing.

 ... Amazed ... What a wonder full word.