Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)
Some interesting stuff has been happening around me lately ... other then walking my dog on longer and longer walks I've been ... Well, kinda vegging out. As I said, oldest son departed for law school ... We were at beach for a few days ... always bunches of home making magic to be concocted after time away. We were planning a trip that would be taking place right now. My husband does week long seminars for engineers several times a year ... usually at kinda cool places. I was going to go along on this trip because it is ... Today is our 30th anniversary. While he worked I was going to ... walk some beautiful trails ... ride a horse for awhile ... maybe spend a morning sailing ... and ... someone told me about a place near to where we would be staying ... unclaimed baggage from all the major airlines ... even as I type it, I grimace ... I'm a minimalist and there's also the thought ... "If the owner's don't want it badly enough to pick it up ... Why would I?" Apparently, this place is famous ... Oprah shops there and A-dores it ... never heard of it until a chance encounter after the sunrise service out along the shore on Easter morning ... Some one from Alice, Texas was on her way up there to check it out ... Then my friend H was like, "Uh yeah ... You are out of the loop girlfriend!" So, I was thinking about it. I do secretly want the black leather Coach backpack. Maybe someone left one of those revolving at baggage pick up ... . Then that epic storm system worked it's way through the State. I kept on thinking his deal might be rescheduled, and eventually his guy called and said, "No power up there for now." Trip cancelled. On Saturday my husband, who always works Saturdays ... Came home and asked,"What would you like to do for an anniversary thing instead?" ... Yes, very romantic. I kinda feel sorry for guys, to tell you the truth. Y'all are supposed to know without even asking, but if it's not just right ... you shoulda asked!. Just the right gift is so difficult ... Especially in a case like ours when there have been 30 years worth of just the right gifts!
Remember that pearl thing several months ago? Okay ... I did look at pearl rings (just in case) and when I finally saw a ring I like well enough to try on, I asked the jeweler how the ring was constructed ... Wondered how the pearl was set, because there were no prongs securing it. He told me something ... It started sounding a lot like blahblahblah ... I looked at the price and, holy guacamole, pearl rings are expensive. And the guy said, "You can't wear a pearl piece like an everyday ring ... This is a special occasion piece". Seriously! I told him if I paid that much for a ring not only would I be wearing it 24/7 but I would expect it to grant me a wish at least everyday! It was really pretty ... but ... uh ... I'm sure I would have felt really bad when the pearl fell out in to a fuel tank during a preflight! I very sweetly let my husband know that the traditional gift of pearls seemed kinda silly for me ... Maybe a pearlized finish on a new car ... .
Anyway ... Plan B ... I stunned my husband by saying (and meaning) that what I really really wished for for our thirtieth anniversary gift was an electric edger (edge envy was making me feel guilty) and a new gas blower. We went to Lowe's. I was very happy. I have time for yard work ... I like working in my yard ... new tools rock.
Today, he surprised me ... stunned me really (He is an Engineer ... acts if spontaneity are frowned upon ... ).
He came home with a beautifully wrapped little gift. I love beautifully wrapped little gifts!
I opened it ... It was very sweet to see how excited he was about the present ... It was a silver bracelet. I love silver bracelets!
It was engraved with a quote ... You know how I am about quotes ...
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."RWE
I've been pretty bummed out lately. This flight instructing job hunt is pretty frustrating ... After all those years of working towards that goal of instructing ... I really wanted a job instructing. And there have been other important things that haven't resolved well lately ... seems like I'm feeling max load on a lot of different bundles. I'm struggling with the idea that I really really need to ease up a little on "determined" ... I am used to making things happen and ... Well, once something becomes important I commit. Not a bad trait ... but it makes me guarded about what I allow to become "important" ... where I become "pot-committed". I can see that in my notes here on True North. This waiting is killing me! Determination has been a very successful life strategy for me ... It's hard to relax in to something else.
My husband is being supportive of the notion of trying something other than ... he likes the idea of me stretching myself towards other than what I can make happen on my own ... by waiting ... by other means. For thirty years he has watched and maybe admired my all-in spirit. Better than anyone else he understands the cost to me of letting something that has become important to me ... go (ouch, that is hard to write!). I am not a let the chips fall where they may kind of girl.
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Emerson
that is this:
"The future is not a result of choices among alternate paths offered by the present, but a place that is created ... created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination." - Richard Bach
Determination is not the only way to create though ... I am an artist, my heart knows that is true. Determination alone is a limited pallette.
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