The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Suddenly the rose vine is heavy with fragrant pink blooms.  The smell was the first thing I noticed when I opened the door to look outside this morning ...  stepping down from our front porch and looking up at the sky, I felt the breeze.  Ahhh ... like the beach, but pine laced with gardenias, rather than salt and sunscreen.  So begins what just could be another delightful day in the life of ... yours truly. 
The sky ... one of my favorite things to look at.  I know I'm going to hope for a really nice kitchen with room for company and cooking ... that's how we say "I really love you" in the South ... we feed tummies, counting on a direct linkage to the soul.  While I'm here daydreaming about our next house, I'd better say the bathtub is almost as important as a well equipped kitchen ... the bathtub could be a galvanized horse trough out on a deck though ... my requirements there are that it is deep enough and has a virtually unlimited flow of hot water. I am devoted to Zen and the art of the Bath ... maybe better  rethink that outdoor location,  because if I could see the stars from a hot soak tub ... well, I might just quit cooking dinner all together.  But, I was writing about the sky.  I like the window in a museum in Corpus Christi, Texas ... it is a large unadorned square that unabashedly frames a view of blue ... or an approaching storm ... or whatever flies through that particular patch of the heavens.  Mr.Turrell is genius at honoring the genius behind the complex simplicity of the sky.  A "window" like that is of utmost importance to me in my next home. And wouldn't I love it, if at night, that view was tickled by the fingers of a rotating beacon light.  At least I know what I like!  The sky here, this morning, appeared to be painted with a soaking wet sponge ... the atmosphere is laden with moisture ... there was no doubt that we will see some rain today. I don't need a TAF to tell me that ... we've got a Monet sky.

My husband is out for a few days ... shaking the money trees and moving his pet research project forward at the same time ... perfect combination for an academic.  He called early ... his day had already started while I was still stretching and thinking about coffee.  I was thinking about coffee and I was thinking about that loop dream.  You know how you occasionally see a movie or read a story where the ending is left open?  I am not a huge fan of loose ends or endings as the case may be.  Hmmm ... I hadn't seen how that metaphor pervades my modus operandi.  I may need to chill out a little ... my ponytail maybe just a tad too tight!  Anyway (not dismissively, because I will definitely look at relaxing more! Yeah ... I can see a need for that ... if I were coaching someone "like" me. Can I relax more ... remains to be seen!)
I almost have to laugh as I note what I was thinking about this morning ... in reference to the loop dream ... okay, it's my dream ... it stops with me requesting a pitcher of lemonade (when life gives you lemons, make lemonade?) at a sweet little establishment beside a wonderful airstrip where what is becoming my airplane is parked.  I am visiting there ... it's a stop ... but there is another pilot who has wandered off towards a loose end ... and ... I feel good about flying this airplane myself, but ... where is it hangered?  Not knowing where the airplane belongs is a huge loose end ... . I collected only a snippet out of the middle of this little dream story ... it's loose at both ends like a golden wrapper on my favorite hard candies (Worther's toffee).  So ... as I lay there rubbing my foot back and forth across the cotton sheet (I've always loved that, it's a  habit left over from my childhood ... comfortingly familiar) I was thinking of possible wonder endings for this dream ... as though it were a story I could write an ending for.  I want to wrap up all the loose ends!  Silly me.  I understand how silly that is, and how not going with the flow that is ... I see how "putting it in a box with a lid on it"... labled, of course, for ease of retrieval ... that is. It's so Andy of Mayberry and Gunsmoke ... so Lassie ... so black and white ...  where every thing gets wrapped up within the time allotted and we move on to the next little story within the larger story. 

As I pause here in my musings, I can clearly hear my momma's voice ... she calls out to me using all three of my names  ... serious stuff  ... close the door behind you she says.   I remember.  Not sweet memories ... . I liked visiting at my grandmother's house ... she had a screen door that shut itself with the help of a long loose spring... visitors didn't have to knock.

I gotta have a screen door like that on my next home.  And a rose vine where birds can nest.  As I sit here, drinking my coffee and relaxing (yes I do!), I can see little baby bird heads popping up ... I love that!

No comments: