Kingfisher ~ Gisela Delpho

How 'bout these words ...

"Eventually, we begin to see that this very process of self-examination is it; discovery is not so much about the thing discovered but about discovery itself.  The Corps of Discovery discovered nothing but themselves.  In doing so, they discovered us."
~ Ken Burns ~ last few lines of the Preface to LEWIS & CLARK

 These words moved me and I go back to them.  I am wondering lately about these large scale adventures ... even in listening to the book Jarhead which doesn't seem to be heading towards anything grand, I can see how time spent in large clumps shapes us.  We see what we are made of and then I think we want to use it.  These explorers discovered themselves ... I don't doubt it, but I believe they also became "themselves" during the spending of these days.  They were building the stores from which they were able to begin, carry on and complete this portion of their lives ... and the rest of their lives as they lived out their days. It's easy to see that people rise to challenges.  Falling Upward talks about offering who we find ... back.  Discovery then an offering.
Last night I enjoyed looking at clay pots on Pinterest.  I was thinking about the process.  Starts out as mud that is carefully ... skillfully ... shaped in to a container.  I am in the trial and error stage of wheel throwing.  Big visions ... little skill to support them!  We haven't fired one single piece from our class yet. Last night I imagined us all standing around as our efforts came out of the fire ... some will be whole ... others will be cracked, maybe some cracked beyond repair.  You just never know what might happen in the kiln, it's a dangerous time for pottery.  After that I think at least two more trips through the fire with protective and decorative glazing.  And what will we discover from the process.  Wondering which of mine will survive ... from which might I drink ... which will store pencils ... .  I am very happy for the opportunity to get to experience this process.  It's so easy to stock my shelves with plates and bowls ... mass produced but valued just the same.  And I can't wait to see what makes it home from the studio this semester.  I am investing in my little pieces.  Little vessels of clay.
I strain to imagine the entire process of creating a vessel which might choose all for itself to house the Spirit of the Living God.
How can one imagine themselves useless, or forgotten?
I am thinking about the heat of the fire ... the tempering of the clay ... the process from mud to ... prized.

Different topic ... Greed is my next vice to think about and I am thinking about it.  The big shock on looking specifically at this list of vices is how pervasive they are in my life ... and I am actually trying to "do right".  I am a mess.  I can see that trying to do or be better is not quite getting it.  I yield to God ... the untangle-r of naughtiness.

And ... House.  I have a copy of it close at hand.  It is a wonderful story.

I remember just a few months ago when I had no idea what to read ... and now, so many wonderful books to help me think about stuff.  It amazes me how different they are, yet seeming to support a central theme.
Creepy-cool.  They provide me with a "place" to think about some stuff I've been putting off.
The clay of me wasn't strong enough to hold it ... I needed to go through some fire.  Now it seems I rest ... and I imagine God is figuring out some nice finishing option.  So far so good ... I know I am cracked, but I saw some filling, sealing, in of those cracks recently ... I didn't think that was even possible and now ... well, if that was possible (and it was),  there's no telling what could happen.


The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack. ~Keith Miller

I'm starting to think we were conceived to hold the over flow of God's love.  Each one of us a love story being spoken.

Maybe just like I love my children ... that particular love story didn't exist before they did ... and my capacity to love has expanded with our family and continues to develop.  I never love them less only more.  Oh yeah, I am aggravated with them ... and them with me, no doubt. And ... I didn't create them, I just get to help a bit.  It is impossible to imagine God's doings in/with us.

Well ... I gotta get to the day.  Monday ... lots to do!