Along with my new book "Astronomy for Dummies" (I would actually enjoy more books in that series if they would take the insult out of the title ... we are at least trying! ... and could they tweak that hideous black and yellow cover - that's it ! ... I am absolutely going to recover mine and rename ... problems solved), I am reading an excellent book titled Ester A woman of strength and Dignity. What a great book. Here is a bit from the back cover: It is a thought provoking study of God's invisible hand, writing silently and unseen across the pages of human history. I have really benefited from this book at this time.

Towards the end of the book there is a note on self-control. It is defined by Richard Walters as:
... managing our attitudes, feelings, and actions so they serve our long term best interests and those of others. ... self-control means inner strength. And somewhere around there it talks about retaliation and revenge.

To seek or not seek revenge is a little bit of what I've written about between the lines here ... not just recently, but even before when I felt so bruised by my actions. People are still calling me, encouraging me to not hold back. I am so done with the whole thing though. It feels really good to just let it go ... like a compacted cube floating away ... jettisoned. I have re-read just a tad about that episode and it is funny ... like I laugh out loud ... at how unbelievable it was for me. I'm going to keep an eye on myself in that area, because I've noticed from my writing here that I make my mind up about something and it's pretty hard to see it differently ... I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea that things weren't going to go the way I thought they would. In flying I expect to adapt to a changing set of circumstances. My other job ... wife/mom ... probably a little more routine is expected, but things can turn on a dime in a family the size of ours. It surprises me that I was so surprised. It surprises me that it took me so long to wrap my head around it!

I think I will be significantly happier with freelance flight instructing. Everything sure does seem to be falling in place ... and I am embarrassed to admit that the ease of it scares me a little.
If just three people sign up for my ground class, I will make the same amount of money as I did teaching up to 25 at a time in my other situation. And it will cost the student less. I'm getting pretty excited about it. Still haven't met the owner of the plane ... he flies freight for one of the big guys and has been busy or weathered in these last few weeks. It appears to be a done deal, but I would like to look the guy in the eye (President Bush kinda ruined that particular expression in a way....)
I ordered a syllabus from Sporty's - hope it'll be here tomorrow. The class won't start until March, but I'd enjoy organizing the material around a new syllabus. I am also learning about CFI, student, and airplane insurance... pretty complicated.

I have never had very much exposure to maintenance supervision for an airplane either, so that will be an education for me as well. The owner is covering the maintenance costs, but he is several states away ... just keeping an eye on that 100 hour stuff is what I'm really talking about. After seeing how this goes, I will be in a lot better position to decide on whether of not I want to invest in my own plane.

Some of the guys are calling saying that there are going to be openings at the flight school. This morning as drank coffee and ate breakfast with my husband I told him that I feel really good about not having the aggravation of working there. I felt really bad about dipping in to the family coffers to cover my bill ... especially at Christmas time, but everything went okay ... no coal in the stockings this year. Tomorrow I have to go to the dermatologist for a little spot under my eye, and then I'm going to go order some business cards.

My husband is out working on Andrew Ellicot's mound line for a few days ... kids still out for Christmas break. Still pretty busy ... good busy.