The way to love someone
is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul
until you find a crack,
and then gently pour your love into that crack.
~Keith Miller

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A vessel repaired holds love better

These may be chigger bites ... I can't see them, because they are located only (and apparently all over) my backside. They are little points of fire that grit my teeth with their picking ... itching.
I ventured out for a walk and I sat down in some inappropriate place. Now I have an itch that I dare not scratch ... It is truly a pain in the ahem.
"Can chigger bites cause a fever?" I asked my husband this morning ... I have a low grade fever and a two day persistent headache. This walking in the woods is proving to be a bit more then putting one Chaco in front of the other. I am learning about a lot of things I have never even thought of before. I like the idea of being able to flourish in different settings. Better clarify ... Man verses Wild ... love that show (except when he bit in to the live fish ... Seemed a bit over the top to me ... unnecessary roughness). I like to watch Wild from the air-conditioned den ... just a few steps away from the cold water in the door of the frig, all that nature drama makes me thirsty!
This hiking deal, to me, was a way to get my husband alone and away ... unplugged for ... well, I was thinking a month at a time. I wasn't thinking about chiggers (they dig me) or mosquitos and demon possessed black flies. That heat rash ... has dissipated, but my doctor friend at church says once you've dabbled in that fiery mess you are forever more vulnerable ... I like stuff like chicken pox ... once done always done! I will be mindful of my vulnerability to excessive heat.
The soles of my feet are now calloused ... I think that is there because of all the walking I've been doing ... since I've been flying less. This walking business isn't what I thought it might be ... but it is good. I walk in front ... with my sun glasses on. We have hiked only in very densely forested areas so far ... shady ... the Oakley's shield my eyes from those maniacal flying insects. Except that yellow jacket who flew in under ... briefly, testing my reflexes. Sometimes spider webs crisscross the trail ... you can't see those, you just feel them. I am not a fan of spiders, but I think webs are ... amazing. Sometimes fallen trees or partially fallen trees will block the trail. My husband clears the way or forges an alternative path. Pretty nice. He likes for me to go first so that I can set the pace I'm comfortable with. I walk with a camera in my hand most of the time ... there are so many beautiful little things out there. We've seen wild blueberries and also blackberries. My husband picks the ripe ones and eats them ... He laughs when I decline. I know bear food when I see it! It's the bears unseen who tell me to keep it moving! Frozen fruits are plentiful behind the cold water door. We rarely see wildlife, although the scampering ... chirping ... uh, slithering ... is uninterrupted by our trail crunching.

I don't do a lot of daydreaming when I'm flying ... my trips have usually short cruise segments, and when there is time for chillin' I'm anxious to soak up all that can be seen from up there. Walking ... leaves a lot of time for just thinking. Yeah, not even exactly thinking ... it's more like waiting to hear what silence seeps in. (I'm thinking about what love wants to birth ... I'm thinking about what restricting love may abort) I'm thinking about how fully alive the woods are ... each of the senses is pinged. I feel my body working in ways flying doesn't require. I like the activity of that. (I'm thinking about how feeling fully makes me feel ... vulnerable, yes a little, and the flip side: the real me fully engaged ... risking, yet unafraid ... my soul unfiltered ... unfettered ... unrestrained ... and that is a bit of how flying well feels to me ... freedom purchased by self-discipline and respect for ... challenges ... alive ... fully alive)

And the washer has stopped ... time to get going ... it's floors and bathrooms today.

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