Mother's Day.

 My kids like that I write here. Mostly for later I think. I record some of my memories here so that they might know some of my thoughts ... some of what was saved from earlier in my life, and some of what has become my life now. And ... I'm thinking about "day-dreaming" some wishes here ... like glider stuff, purely personal ... dreams can be powerful, pursuing them brings joy and growth ... okay and a tiny bit of frustration. "Good" and "Bad" seem to be frequently packaged together and it seems that managing those is the material that golden moments are spun from.

I wasn't a kid who played with baby dolls. I did like my little kitchen set, though not nearly as much as I loved the swing set, or my bike later. I wasn't some one who expected to fall in love.  If I wasn't born "fall adverse" I became so further back then memories begin.  Matter of fact one of my earliest memories is standing against  something with both arms up naively/sweetly/diligently  trying to protect my baby brother from falling ... most likely my mom was trying to keep me busy nearby and suggested it.

It's an incredible understatement to express that is exactly what happened during those first seconds after I became a mother. I had no idea there was a ledge there ... No idea that one might fall from there ... Thank God for that, I might have avoided the risk entirely ... .  So ... becoming a mom ... for me began with falling ... in love.  Again, thank God it's a good place, in love, because I've noticed over the years that there are no exits ... once in, you are irrevocably "in".

I think that's pretty neat.  That one may have bonds which won't be broken.  It's a great place to see what true commitment ... and one's best love, best efforts, best intentions ... what may come of that.  I realize that I am extremely blessed.   Being a mother to my family has been the true love of my life ... wish I were better at it ... wish I could be the mom my kids deserve.  They have no idea how much they have helped me along the way on my little life journey.  I know I've said before that I thought I would be rearing them, but it has turned out that they are actually "raising" me.  They are the polishers of my rough edges ... the perfecters of my soul.