here ... now

 I like that it's cool enough inside to "fog" up the windows ... thankful for air-conditioning, and green grass ... and another day of sunshine, if that's how it's going to be today ... this can be a pretty laid-back day for me today ... from 9:30 on to dinner time I can do pretty much whatever I might choose ... that's pretty awesome, the luxury of that ... knowing that woke me up with a big smile ... .

 This is the last old chair from the garage ... this was "inherited" from husband's side and I just didn't know what to do with it ... missing pieces, but maybe repairable ... I didn't think of myself as able to repair furniture and it has just been sitting n the garage waiting for a light to come on somewhere.  Once I started seeing these things as available for my tinkering ... well, things have been changing.  I was bothered by, but tolerating the garage thing because I didn't consider that stuff really my stuff, and I figured the problem would solve itself when we moved to the beach.  Then ... we didn't move to the beach. So ... I started wearing swimming suit bottoms under my sundresses ... zig-zagged party lights under the back porch, and started tackling the garage.  I hate to think what feng shui penalties may have already been extracted.  Order is good ... and because I have thought of a lot of that stuff as stuff waiting to be thrown away, it's pretty easy to try my hand at making it better.  Ummm, like this chair.  Belonged to someone's grandfather in it's prime, now missing the connectors between the legs which would make it sturdy enough for actual seating ... it is also missing its seat.  Yeah, basically junk.  But until recently it was not my junk in not my garage.  Now it begins to be mine.  Last night I sanded it and applied this antique jade stain.  As yet undecided about the look of the stain.  I kinda love seeing the wood, but with wood floors through our home I want a little variety of color ... so colored stain seemed like a good idea.  Today, I'll sand and probably apply another layer of stain.  I think it is a process.  I don't know if I like it or think it just looks a bit ... moldy.  Lol,  we will see!  If I start to love it, I'll put it back together and find some amazing fabric for a new seat.

This morning's radar ... it's raining on my brother.  The pressure gradients are states apart with a stationary front delineating the North from the South.  I wish I had been as interested in stuff when I was younger as I am now ... by now I'd already know so much cool stuff that I may not have time to find out about now.  I really like weather stuff for example ... who knew!?!?

I have finish up stuff to do with the paint and wood trim in the living room and den ... and some weeding in the front beds ... and other then that ... some goof off time before I begin my next little set of projects.  I get to go fabric shopping next Monday.  Pottery studio time this week.

Couple of other things ... One ... It's been kinda weird over here with the church thing.  I expected finding a great church home to be the very least of our concerns when I realized we were moving to the deep South, I mean, there's a church on practically every corner.  I didn't know that we would be so weird, spiritually and otherwise, and I didn't know that groups of believers would be so weird. I mean ... collectively, groups of people can be pretty weird ... I think I thought I would bring my weirdness to the house of God and get right ... eventually.  So ... for the twenty or so years we've been here it's been not great settling in to a church home.  Which is important to me ... we've stayed feeling like visitors sort of.  Sort of.  And ... I thought when we move back home at least I will be with the sort of weird that I'm most like, uh, comfortable with.  Then ... we didn't move.  Someone is saying we will in three years, but ... .  But.  So I decided to reallyreallyreally live as right here and right now as I possible can.  And ... it feels pretty good.  One thing I've noticed is that it is almost as difficult not to look too far back as it is not too look too far forward.  It's that stillness thing I've been ... hmmm, accepting I guess is the best word.  Still feels good but it also feels a bit creepy.  Yeah ... it really does have a feeling.   It feels like being very present in right now.  The good thing about it is the richness of now.  The creepy is ... well, it creeps me out to think about it ... maybe it is acknowledging that I'm not as in control of my situation as I would like to feel that I am.  I don't know.  I really don't know.  It's difficult to think about exactly.  hmmm.  I plan a trip from here to there, and I expect and even enjoy the "pop-ups" along the way ... I like the scenery and the bumps are fun ... yep a trip in a plane totally rocks.  Yeah ... that's it.   It creeps me out to not know where things are headed ... and at the same time ... stuff I thought I was so sure about ... foundation stuff ... turned out to be an illusion ... a construct.  Now ... most stuff out there feels that way so I stay close to myself here in this moment as I am able to.  This sounds weird ... even as I try to think about it it seems weird.
Well, I started this paragraph to note ... we have a real preacher at the church my husband has the most affinity for ... and I am so relieved.
The other thing ... I'm going to be finished with my home projects pretty soon, probably this summer.  I've been discussing getting  job with my husband.  He doesn't want to say it ... exactly ... but he really doesn't want me to get a real job.  He likes the idea of me doing substitute teaching in the local school system.  I ... hate to admit it, but I am not fond of other people's children when they come in huge groups. And ... from what I hear, no real teaching happens at all.  From what I hear, the subs basically babysit ... everyone plays with their phones ... lots sitting around.  60 bucks a day ... and you're stuck there with nothing to do.  And ... sixty bucks is minimum wage before taxes at our filing jointly rate.  I just don't know.  L loves the idea.  The convenience of being able to say No ... I have errands to run today so I'm not available for that ... sick kid, husband needs shirts picked up ... and then on days when no one else needs me, I'm free to go earn some spending money.  I really can see why housewives find all kinds of trouble to get in to.  So ... I'm trying to find something to do that works with here.

with first coat of poly ... still undecided on this technique ... it reminds me of old cowboy boots and I love it ... then it just looks moldy ... and that's never a good thing. It feels good ... my hand likes it.