I don't even want to wonder how hot it is here today ... hot enough to plaster my ponytail to my back and run sweat in rivulets through unmentionable crevice y crevasse de todo corazón.

I guess I dislike grass encroaching on the sidewalk and over the front curb even more then I dislike taking care of it myself.  I am trying to wonder about what my dad would say about me doing what he would call heavy yard work ... would he say ... "Wow...great edge work", or would he say "Girl, you need to get some edge on!"  I am physically capable of running the edger and the weed whip ... it feels good to have my boots on ... . There is plenty of cool air and that marvelous shampoo for later, generously supplied by the labor of my husband.  This is one of those things that I just don't know what to think about.  My dad wouldn't allow Mom or me to spray round up. Now days, I would spray it, but for some reason ... maybe even some sissy pants reason ... I don't want to mix it up ... to not handle it is deep ingrained ... and yet ... someone has to do it, and I seem to be the one with the time.

I've been thinking about this sort of thing lately as I settle in to here for the foreseeable future.

I find myself perfectly comfortable in my own skin these days.

  
I  previously had a private concern about my "me-ness" which has been very sweetly and maybe even miraculously resolved ... guess I am trying to figure out what I will do and what I won't do, and why for either just in case God asks.  I don't want to be stubborn about not doing stuff I can actually do.  On the other hand ... the more I do the more I do.  I don't want to be hmmm ... bitter about stuff.  I'm trying to avoid the foolishness.

On a different note ... while I worked outside this morning I thought of a precious elderly couple who I love.  She is fading fast.  She may pass today and ... they have been married for almost 70 years now.  It's going to hurt.  I can't even imagine him sitting in church without her tucked in right by his side.  Sigh.  And ... I thought about the hope of salvation which is hers ... not because she is super sweet (she is ... not a mean bone in her body ... last time I sat with her while he ran errands she asked me when her friend would be back, then she was embarrassed because maybe she should have said her husband ... she said she feels very bad that it hurts him that she can't always remember that he is her husband.  I said I think it's very precious that she can always remember that he is her friend ... that is the picture I want to think about when I think of Christ's relation to the church and visa versa ... sweetest.)  So ... from there ... lotsa edging in my yard ... I started thinking about my buddy girl L who died from cancer a few years ago.  I can still hear her laugh when I close my eyes ... we thought the same things were funny.  Anyway, I remember saying the last time I saw her to rest easy ... that she would wake up in heaven ... and she whispered I hope so.  And ... that's what I wasn't ready to hear then exactly as I did upon reflection this morning. That is exactly the hope ... protect, trust, hope, persevere ... love ... that the scripture is talking about.  It's not a I hope I win the lottery kind of hope, it's more like our only hope ... a hope which is freely given, but made available at a huge cost.  I used to think hope didn't really fit with those words ... it didn't seem big enough, active enough.  Now I see that the other words aren't even possible with out it ... now I see how huge it makes the word love.

^{I Corinthians 13 4} Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails. ... ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is love.
~NIV

Well ... back to that edging ... I needed more cord, and some cold water and cold air.

PS ... Retired neighbor next door ... my dad's age of a guy ... he came up to admire my super duper edge and I asked him for some fatherly advice ... he said put on some plastic gloves and get a laundry cup to measure with  and ... go for it.  He said I wouldn't be making a career of it 'cause my batch would probably last for several months ... excellent advice and I'm going to take it.  It's a cherishment issue, but only because I think of it that way (that's what I said to myself).