When I woke up this morning I realized that right now - this block of right now - is perfectly balanced. I have seen that, that slice of everything even better than you could wish for, many times in my life ... many of those moments are preserved photo memories that I can see and re-cherish. I want to write about this, because I want to remember the gratitude that informs my perspective this morning. I'm just going to jot down some of the streams of thought that converge to provide this perfect pool that I awoke to float in. My intent is to note and I'll edit later - maybe.

I talked to my best friend yesterday - she's known me all my life - I am so very thankful to have a buddygirl who amplifies my joy and bounces it back at me ... she is so unfailingly delighted in my good fortune ... the other side of the wave, she buffers ... absorbing some of the grief that only a very old friend would even understand.

I had been awake for a while before I thought of the smoking hot shoes, re wrapped. re boxed, and waiting. They want to be worn. I may secretly practice walking around in them ... they require nonchalant confidence ... the attitude of a woman who has just succeeded at a big whoop ... yeah, some shoes talk.

My husband put the dog on the phone last night ... ridiculous, I know. Sweet ... you better believe it. He said the dog had been kinda moping and that perked him up. That's not the kind of silliness my husband would normally find himself near, much less instigate, but it sure made me feel better.

I remembered this song...

In the arms of an Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here. ~Sarah McLachlan

... this morning as I read the latest post on my favorite blog. I know it's a sad song with a lingering melody, but it didn't feel sad this morning. Sigmets blanket the coastal fog that veils the West coast every morning I've noticed, and I wondered, "What does that look like?" Now I know. It looks surreal ... it looks like a lace curtain ... between here (where it's hard to see even what you know is there) and there (where vision is unrestricted). People bump in to each other when they can't see well. Of course I think about that every time I see the numbers and very little else. A foggy morning ... right, every morning ... at LAX seems like a good time to hope for the comfort found in knowing that 700agl is but a couple of breathes away.
I remembered the Nicholas Cage movie - City of Angels - where angels hang out at the library and hop rides on mass trans ... .

Yesterday, I read in John where Jesus healed a man blind from birth. "Was it his sin, or the sin of his parents (which caused the blindness)?" And the answer given, "Neither, but that God might be made known ... revealed ... in the restoration of sight." I probably shouldn't put that in parenthesis because it is heavily paraphrased by yours truly here. I thought of myself - blind, and aware of that fact, wondering what it might be to see. I want to see God. Visibility is restricted, just like in that fog, I move slowly, cautiously, mindful ... thinking sometimes "I've been here before, I know my way" other times reaching a trusting hand out towards the unknown, and other times straining for the promise of an unrestricted view just beyond the veil.

What a luxury it is to wake up early and know that you have three hours to spend just anyway you want ... no one is hoping for the big breakfast or their turn through the facilities ... just the hummm of cool air in to the darkness of this hotel room ... I lit a candle (sage and citrus) ... I stretched and smiled. What a luxury to wake up rested and know that the most important things ... my people ... are fine and well cared for while I take a couple of weeks away. My ten year old pinged me last night ...

I realized this morning that I am on vacation. I feel relaxed, and energized at the same time. I get to spend time doing this - rest and wear myself out with airplane stuff and the corollary - what's the word? - incidental learning - that comes along side.

Now - off to a wonderful day - wow.