Yesterday,
Talking on the phone, which I never really like to do very much unless I'm out walking, I've mentioned www.pinterest.com to both of my sweet buddy girls. That's a little diversion my girls have me doing with them lately. It's an online bulletin board where photos, ideas, recipes, sayings (these little blocks with quotes in them are from that source) ... All kinds of girl stuff. I guess it's like a visual scrapbook. So ... Interest with a P in front.
And, I am so covered up in books right now ... Plus, I am super interested in running down some of the background information that fleshes out the stories of the miracles that Christ did during his ministry. I think he was very mindful about what he did, when he did, why he did, who ... All that. ... The story of the leper(s), the story of the loaves, of the water to wine ... All that ... Moses turned the water to blood, Jesus turned the water to wine. I think it means something and I want to think about each incident carefully.
I also want to complete my notes on Anam Cara ... Boy does that eat time! And id like to add some more ground notes ... aerodynamics next ... And it's finally cool enough to walk my dog again.
Yesterday I saw the doctor about my ear. Well, L had suggested candle-ing which I think is a hoot ... Basically genius too. An ear candle is a cone, of I think it's beeswax, that you light up and "stick" in your ear. The heat wicks the congestion out ... up into the hollow candle. So ... The "patient" lays very very still with a fire stick balanced in their ear. Sounds like fun, right? You can hear the siphoning and tiny popping sounds ... and you can feel pressure changes. Over the course of three days prior to seeing the doctor L stood by lighting up several candle sessions and making sure I didn't get burned by the ashes (they drooped over as it burned down, but stayed connected to the candle) ... immediate relief. I was really surprised. Anyway, by time my doctors appointment arrived I could tell my ear was on the mend. They did a hearing test in a sound booth. The doctor asked me what I would attribute my slight high decibel hearing loss to. I surprised and possibly offended him by laughing out loud at his question. I don't see many doctors professionally, but I did sense that he felt laughed at. That wasn't my intent at all.
The people in his office were calling me by my first name ... Which, of course brought my mother to mind. Thinking of my mother while I sat in the waiting room for a full hour with my ear pounding, reminded me of all the times she told me to turn it down or turn it off ... the music ... she said I was ruining my hearing. Well, guess what? Mom is right again!
"What's so funny about that?" he asked and I said, "I'm fifty three almost ... There was a lot of really good music in the seventies ... and later ... Airplane noise rocked (still does) ... and I use the uber noise attenuating headset when I'm in a twin, but I like to hear what a single engine is thinking about ... and ... honestly doctor ... between the earbuds and the headset providing things I want to hear and just all the life noise I would sometimes prefer not to hear ... I think I'm really okay with the wear and tear so far. Not laughing at your question ... just laughing at life." I smiled. He smiled. He looked in both ears, both nostrils, down my throat ... Wrote two prescriptions, told me to come back in a year for another hearing checkup. Now we have a benchmark. Nice guy. I may be using these ears for another many years ... Maybe it's time to start being more mindful.
Four tore her MCL this weekend at the lake ... four kids on a tube fast as can be behind a boat. She is in a full leg brace 24/7 for at least the next three weeks. This morning she told me that it is difficult to maneuver in the bathroom. Other then knocking herself unconscious during a biking accident and perhaps some over zealous leg shaving incidents, she hasn't experienced physical roadblocks. No driving for three weeks is going to be a grind for her. Homecoming in a leg brace ... Ugh. Laughing with her buds while they fly over the water ... so totally worth it if that's what she wants to do. Life is for living.
Thinking about names last night ... Well, this morning at fourish. When someone uses my first name it always calls me back to being in trouble with my momma. When she is speaking to me she doesn't use my name ... The name that everyone calls me by, or even the deriviative that close friends may use. My small group of pilot buddies affectionately coined a nickname ... my name plus. My husband rarely says my name, and the kids call me mom, or momma when they want something. Legal documents show my first two names plus my married last name. My identification documents show my name plus my maiden name plus my last name. When I got married a lot of women were keeping their last names or hyphenating. I just dropped my first name ... The name that meant I was in trouble. My husband fill out all forms using it. I wonder how to get that tidied up. I don't like having a name that is longer then the space given to signatures! I don't like feeling like I may be in trouble when I'm visiting the doctor's office. I actually did get in trouble because I didn't answer when they called me ... Either I didn't know my name, or I couldn't hear ... That's what they thought. I like to hear people say my name. I like to say the name of people I'm talking with.
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
When I see my name misspelled by people who know me, like my brother-in-law frequently does, it always seems so odd. Careless. As in uncaring. He is notoriously detail oriented ... I notice and shrug. I'm reading Elie Weisel's book right now too (and yes, the copy of Heaven is for Real is right here beside me and I promise to get to it tonight! ... But it's not a fifteen to twenty minutes worth of reading like you said it was!) ... The parents of one of my college friends had those horrible intentionally dehumanising tattooed numbers above their wrists in the soft skin. ... My mother doesn't chose to remember the names of my children. Really. She refers to them as the one who dives ... or, seriously, by a nickname she has chosen for them, or even as uhmmm, your son, or her coup de grace ... By the names of my brother's children. She calls him "your brother" when she is talking to me and he and I joke about it by referring to her as "your mother" when we talk with each other. I laugh about it, but I know it's really not funny. Names. Names are important. Now I am reading about the water to wine miracle ... Jesus refers to Mary as "woman" ... the commentaries indicate that this expression is intentionally distancing as Jesus begins the work of his Father. They provide excellent linguistic support for the premise that this wasn't disrespectful or even slightly hurtful towards his mother. She got it. Again, I wish I understood more languages.
This is the last thing ... Our soul. It is eternal. That's what I believe ... The details of that, large and small, I'm waiting to see, but I do believe it is eternal and I do believe it was created by God. When? I have liked to wonder about that for longer then I remember. An easy answer would be at the point of conception. My husband doesn't believe a body gets it's soul until it is being born. What about Jesus and John the Baptist, I ask ... He says they are special cases. I don't know. It doesn't really matter. As a mother, I can't think of abortions or miscarriages as just a loss of flesh and bone. We agree to disagree here. This I do know ... When I read Roots, I loved the way an African child received the gift of his name. And then, a few years ago I read in the book of Revelation where God tells us our name. I like that God has a name for me. I love thinking about how it might sound when I hear it ... for the first time ... for every time. Even now, with my DeAnn name, I listen to how it is said. Just like little Billy ... I think we all hear what is being said by how our name is used.
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