"Stillness needs to come first. It happens in stages: stopping … breathing … listening … undoing. Then hope: the hard job of replacing the old recordings with fresh, life-giving possibilities, aspiring for a life that is more manageable, less distracted and scattered. And then faith: believing in a God that can deliver me to solid earth where I can begin to think, consider, cry, and heal. And ultimately, to dance!" ~ Philip Chircop sj
Tap this posts title to zoom to his site. Lots of great images and interesting thought there.
Could that be true? Stillness ... Then hope - that word I said I could not see an action associated with. That quiet word barely whispers to me. And hope for what exactly, even if it's a whole basket full of bunches of hope. These words ... More manageable, less distracted and scattered ... don't fit me. I would be over on the opposite side if these words were piled up on a scale. ... And then faith ... I do have confidence in the goodness of God, but I steer clear, mindful of the winds of chance and circumstance, of defining my deliver me to or fromq ... I thought I had an eye on the big picture, but now I see that my GPS screen can barely project a pink line between the here and there of today.
Today I can see rain piling big grey stacks of water up so high, and I am amazed to see water floating on air ... next week I'll be swimming in it ... or drinking it.
Today I can see a bath tub that wants to be clean and smudges on the refrigerator door ... the clock ticks, tonight we get to eat out, maybe I should bake cookies for after ... and it's time for another grocery list, don't forget the eggs this week 'cause there are none hiding in the back now.
Today I can almost see tomorrow, when I plan on planting Fall flowers in the freshly refurbished pots on the front porch ... And I'll think about an étagère in the garage that would be fun to spray paint with the remnants of that can. I am cleaning and reorganizing the garage slowly but surely ... It makes me sneeze and smile.
Today I can see me ... Thinking, considering, crying and laughing 'cause life is pretty amusing really (not too bad, kinda weird and messy, but ... it's actually rather nice ... ) and healing. I feel more comfortable with God ... That must be healing. I think it is. ... And ultimately to dance ... or to soar maybe ... my kids say I dance funny and maybe I do.
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing. ~ T.S.Eliot
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