Yesterday, that huge garden spider webbed up between two of the columns on my front porch ... gone. How'd that happen, and why do I care?
I have never ever liked anything about spiders ... thinking ... is that true? Yep, not even Charlotte's Web. Then, that one showed up under the rose vine after all the birds nests became quiet. I wondered if momma birds would have seen the spider as easy pickin's. I wondered if the spider knew the coast/porch was clear ... What do they know, and how do they know it?! From where I like to have my morning quiet coffee, I can see the web. I noticed that I would have to sharpen both gold and silver pencils if I were to attempt drawing it ... morning ocean requires both too ... and candle light. Studying the lines of the web brought my eye to the center of her universe ... omg ... biggest spider I've ever seen. Honest. Taranchula sized ... muy grande. I had to have a picture of it. Creepy beautiful. My brother called while I was out on the porch setting portrait and laughing at myself for hoping the subject would behave well. The first thing he always asks is "What are you doing" and I frequently make up some whopper ... it's an old game.
"Well, you're never going to believe this but ... I'm out here setting up a photo of a spider that's as big as my hand." I'm sure he can hear the self-conscious laughter in my voice.
I can feel the tense silence all the way from Texas to the steps of my front porch. "Go back inside right now."
OMG ... His tone has the hair on the nape of my neck signaling danger! As soon as he heard the door shut he asked me if I could still see the spider from inside the house ... and yes, I sure can. "Okay ... Hang up and send me a picture of it and I'll call you right back ... And stay inside!"
The spider hasn't moved. That seems like a good thing. I slide the window open and tap the iPhone to zoom ... Dang that's a big spider! Picture sent. Now I'm waiting. Waiting and watching that monster spider ... I wonder if it has eyes ... I wonder if it is watching me.
My brother calls back. He asks me if L is home and I say no in a hushed tone ... My eyes are big on that spider.
"Okay ... Here's whatcha gotta do ... " he says, "Get a gun, go out the back door, round to the front, no closer then the middle of the yard ... can you see it from there?"
"I think so" I say.
"Okay ... No closer then barely able to see it ... you gotta Galveston Garganchula there ... they multiple fast!" My eyes are so huge they hurt. "You gotta blow it's brains out." I grimace. Then he says, "Keep the phone open so I'll know you're okay" and all of a sudden I know.
"OH YOU ARE SO FULL OF IT!" and he is laughing and I am laughing and eventually I ask, "What is it really?"
"Hell, I don't know, some big ass spider looks like. I was really hoping you'd blow a window out"! My brother.
Yesterday morning when I came in to the dining room, V said, "Momma, your spider is not on her web". She was gone all day. Last night I reminded Two that the notes said she would drop to the ground if threatened ... maybe she'd return over night. She did. I am strangely interested in her doings ... So.
17that spider on my front porch.
18that brother of mine.
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