Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys. ~ Emma Bull (sci-fi writer ... I haven't read her work, but she is next up)

Okay, so I have a new blog that I'm looking in on ... Zen hors d'oeuvres sorta ... provocative tidbits.
Something, posted there,what I do not now recall, prompted me to look a little further ... else where ... which then led me to a very unusual name. The exact unusual name of someone who sent a nice note here many months back and said ... this is not my real name, it's just one of the names I use in cyberspace. Okay ... kinda weird ... probably super savvy. Other then causing me to wonder whether or not people use their real names on their blogs or not (and how I wanted to handle that issue myself), I wasn't thinking about the person with the unusual name. Until further looking in to required following that name. The name when googled was associated with several books, some seminar dates, article citations ... some blogs. I looked at the information I wanted then I wondered, maybe the same person? So ... I tapped in to a blog ... yep ... same person. Now I understand the desire for the nom de plume ... not weird at all ... as nice as the note seemed in fact.
I looked at a couple of her posts and then a wish list sort of thing. She wishes, among other things, that everyone would see this movie ... and I think to myself, if it's available on Netflix, I will watch it tomorrow while I strip that chair. Watched half of it Monday. It made me cry. Started watching it again on Wednesday as I worked on the chair. Started crying again. I almost never cry. Well, not while I am awake at least. The main character in this movie has Aspergers Syndrome.
Back up ... On Sunday my husband did one of those little excruciatingly annoying things while we were (stuck) in the car together. It's an aspergers kinda thing ... I understand that but, it makes it only marginally more tolerable. We arrive our destination and he is ready for a bit of alone time at Barnes and Nobles ... Debit card and instructions to the girls and off they go in one direction while he and I head to the bookstore. I don't like to shop. I do like to do everything that a bookstore has to offer ... once inside, we cordially go separate ways. Several hours and a few mood adjustments later we are on the drive home. He casually mentions that the MIT community is heavily weighted towards people with Aspergers. AND ... Lucky for them ... The Aspie men marry Aspie women ... AND everyone is very happy in their little aspergers bubble (my words in italics). "That's nice" I reply. End of conversation ... 'till right before I fall asleep ... at home ... in bed ... he says, "I am smarter then you". And I immediately think, what kinda of stupid shit is this?, but I say, "What'ja say sweetheart?" AND he repeats the statement. I roll over, sit up ... kiss him on the forehead and he says the same thing again ... this time with a smile. I comfy back down into my pillow and I say, "If they blow up the world tonight while we sleep, my skill set will suddenly be in huge demand (I know how to get along for example ... He appreciates my social skills)." "I'm still smarter then you", is his reply.
What does that conversation mean. I do not have a clue. And, it doesn't bother me very much, at least while I am awake. I actually think it's too silly to bother with ... I mean, if there is a point to that, spit it out, otherwise, who cares? I make no claims towards genius ... just that my salsa is genius (recipe available on this site).
Okay, back to today ... watching movie about trials of aspergers guy because it's on someone's wish list and I am a soft on wishes here lately. (It helped me to see the story ... sweet serendipity).

Then ...

Best old friend calls ... I pause movie but keep on removing old fabric and staples from the chair. She is very very very upset. "Tell me everything you know about Aspergers please". We talked my cell battery down to a thin red line. She is going to watch the movie. Aspergers has become personal to her.

I'm thinking about writing about this from my perspective. Life near Aspergers. My husband has astutely pointed out that how he is provides an excellent environment for me to develop my innate strengths ... and it challenges my weaknesses too ... (and sometimes it wears me out!).

I'm certain that I have said here that I believe life is a classroom. I told my friend yesterday, Aspergers renders a person emotionally unable to experience many of the pleasures that most people take for granted. Unable. Unable is a lot different from just doesn't want to. I used to see it as cold calculating selfishness (then I understood it in the context of aviation lingo ... which is how I transfer it to dealing with AS). It's tempting to think of it that way even now occasionally, but the truth really is unable is just unable. Nothing personal ... just like AS. I'd like to write about it for my kids ... maybe I will someday.

The thing about that movie ... I seriously doubt that unusual name lady was wishing everyone would see the movie because of Aspergers ... the movie was about how hatred poisons humanity ... for me, it was also about loving someone who is gifted. It is very cool and a little bit creepy how seemingly inconsequential events link ... I'm noticing lately that people do things with an intent in mind, or we are motivated by something, and then the actual outcome is entirely something different ... and it's kinda beautiful really ... It's like a glimpse of something left by an invisible hand. And ... maybe having some time to sit still has provided me with opportunities to see that. It's a little bit scary in a wonderful way.